Dear Bossip , When I was 18-years old I met this 25 about to be 26-year old at a party. We started talking. He made me his girlfriend. Been around his kids and family. I used to ditch school to see him. I was in love with him and accepted the fact that he had kids. Three months in and for 3months I told him I wanted to marry him and have a life with him. He pushed it off. My mom wasn’t in approval and I kept seeing him behind her back. We had each others yahoo, Facebook, Twitter, AIM, home phone, address, cell, and OVOO. We always stayed in contact which made it harder to leave, but it would be the downfall to our relationship because I ended up seeing pictures and comments I wasn’t supposed to. I figured if he cheating then I might as well I do it too, but my naive mind figured if I tell him all I’m doing and with who, then I wouldn’t be cheating. I started talking to other guys with no intentions of sleeping with them, I just wanted the attention that I couldn’t get from my boyfriend because at the time my mom didn’t know I was still seeing him. So, it went from lying about going to hang out with so-and-so to be with my boyfriend, to actually meeting real life so-and-so and seeing less of my boyfriend. I asked many times for a break for me to figure out what I really wanted, but he rejected and refused. He secretly went thru my phone twice. He saw some texts he wasn’t supposed to see. Once, during the ups of our relationship I agreed to do a tape and naughty pics for him to let him know that I still loved him and he was the only one I was with sexually. Huge mistake because something I did out of love would be the thing that would hurt me the most. How you ask? Every time after when I would ask for a break to meet a new guy friend or in his eyes cheat, or he gets really mad, he would threaten to leak the video and post the pics around my apartment building. Now, 2 years later, I was assaulted and he was there for me. He says he loves me, but gets mad and threatens to post the video. I’ve tried leaving many times, but he used that to get me back. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want the tapes or pics to leak and I’m tired of feeling trapped to him. Help me! – Trapped And Confined Dear Ms. Trapped And Confined , First of all, your fast ass was 18 years old dealing with a 26 year old. That is a problem. You have nothing in common. He is too old for your ass. And, you needed to stay in your lane, especially since you stated that you were ditching school to be with him. I wish I was your parent and I found out that you were ditching school, I would have ditched my foot right up your ass. But, hold up, Ms. Thang, after three months your hot in the pants fast ass was talking about marrying him and having a life with him? What the hell!?! What did you possibly know about him in three months to give you any idea that he was the man for you, especially considering he already had kids, which means he has more than one, possibly more than two kids? And, I’m certain he has more than one baby momma. So, therefore, your wretched ass didn’t even give any type of consideration or thought to the fact that if he is not with his kids mother’s, then why would he want to be with you? Your mother should have snatched a bone out of your neck and beat the hell out of you with it! That’s what your generation is missing – A strong family support system with Big Momma and ‘em, and using a switch on your narrow asses to beat the hell out of you. You better be glad you didn’t grow up like I did where my momma, daddy, uncles, aunts, and whoever else in the neighborhood had the authority to whoop that ass, and use extension cords to tear that ass up! But, let me address this damn madness your ass have gotten yourself into by making a naughty video and sending naked pictures to this trifling ass man. UGH! I wish I could just shake the –ish out of you and knock some damn sense in your head. Ole basic ass! As a matter of fact, ladies and gentlemen, let this be a lesson to all of you out there – Never, never, ever make a naughty video, and send explicit photos to anyone over the internet, or via cell phones because you will end up in a situation just like Ms. Basic Ass who wrote this letter. Please know that whomever you’re in a relationship with that one day it will end. One day it will be over. And, it may end horrible, nasty, and bitter. And, guess what? They have the videos and naked pics of you that they can leak over the internet or share with their friends. You don’t EVER want to give someone ammunition to hold over you and keep you hostage or at their will because your freaky nasty hoe-ish ass wants to act like a stripper or some amateur porn star. And, none of you are Heather Hunter, Tera Patrick, Jenaveve Jolie, Havana Ginger, or Roxy Reynolds. So, please, please, please stop posting those unattractive, explicit photos posing in your dirty panties and bras in your whack ass bathroom shots with spots on your mirrors, and your toiletries on the counter. It’s not cute! But, y’all are going to learn about taking nasty pics and videos and sending them to the ‘so-called’ love of your life. Dumbasses! Listen, I hate that you’re in this situation, but maybe this will teach your basic ass a lesson. Maybe this will be a teachable moment about dealing with gutter and street dudes who ain’t got –ish and won’t be –ish. And, just so that you’ll know this moving forward, IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOUR LOVE TO ANYONE, THEN THEY DON’T LOVE YOU. LOVE IS NOT ABOUT PROVING ANYTHING. IT’S NOT ABOUT CONVINCING SOMEONE WHO IS INSECURE OR JEALOUS THAT YOU’RE WILLING TO DO SOMETHING DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR OWN SELF AND WELL-BEING TO MAKE THEM FEEL SECURE AND COMFORTABLE WITHIN THE RELATIONSHIP. WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF AT THE POINT, STOP, TAKE A MOMENT, AND GATHER YOUR THINGS AND BOUNCE! Unfortunately, there is nothing you can about him having the video and pics. You sent them to him. You tried being nice, and thought you would walk away and that’ll be that. Uhm, WRONG! He has them in his possession, and just like the bish ass he is, he’s trying to manipulate you into staying with him, and use them as his negotiating power. SMDH! Young lady, I hope you’ll never do this again, and if you ever meet someone new and feel the urge to do some bull-ish like this again, please call me. Please, please, please let me know so I can personally snatch that auburn dyed lacefront off your head and smack you upside your bald ass skull! Now, if I were you, and you’re not me, and I’m not suggesting that you do this, but I’m just saying that if I WERE YOU AND IF I WAS IN YOUR SITUATION, THEN WHAT I WOULD DO, I would get his ass pissy drunk one night. Plan a special evening and make sure he drinks and drinks and drinks until he is totally inebriated. Then, when he passes out, pull off all his clothes, and get him buck naked. I would take videos, and pics of him laid and sprawled out with his nuts and penis in plain sight, along with is face. I would also get my “special toy” and place it strategically near his mouth and spread his legs and place it near his ass. Hell, I would even get him awake long enough to think he’s getting some and capture him getting excited and ready, and I would video tape it all. Trust me, he’ll be too drunk to know what’s going on. AND, THEN I WOULD MAKE MULTIPLE COPIES OF EVERYTHING! Then, the next day as I’m telling him that the relationship is over and he wants to get big and bad and say he will release the video and pics he has, I would double over in laughter and dare him to do it. Then, I’d pull up all the pics and video of him from the night before. BOOM! BAM! POW! You wanna rumble with the bee, huh? Throw a hex on the whole family! – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: When I Try To Leave My Boyfriend He Threatens To Release The Explicit Video & Pics He Has Of Me
