Uh, so, who watched the first part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion last night? It was an emotionally scarring, 75-minute display of primal Jersey rage punctuated by hair touch-ups, crocodile tears, and Andy Cohen’s sh*t-shirring questions . Because it was so spectacularly explosive, profanity-laced, and over-the-top, I decided to recap last night’s trauma by the numbers rather than using Movieline’s standard reality check format (because we can all agree that everything seen last night was very real, beginning with Andy Cohen’s fear). As Danielle would say, I promise this will be very “therapeutical” for everyone.
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Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Part 1: By the Numbers
