Tag Archives: longer-normal

Charli XCX for Complex of the Day

I’ve been doing this site for a long fucking time and back in 2006, I was featured in Complex magazine as the “Leader of the New”…that’s what they called me…where they basically said that Perez Hilton was the old and I was the new…thanks to my edgy tongued dialog and amazingly accurate portrayal of the female model and celebrity experience…my brutal honesty that doesn’t make me friends or really do any good for society…but that is still on point…rather than suck up flakey bullshit suck posts that Perez was about at the time when he was so relevant and mainstream because the mainstream needed one blog to attach themselves too…all this to say…that was pretty much the fucking peak…but I am still here…and now this Charli XCX is sharing that honor….we are the same – I wonder if that means she will give me a blowjob – since I was there first…

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Charli XCX for Complex of the Day

Toni Gaarn for Some Swimwear Line of the Day

Toni Gaarn is rumored to have had her asshole filled with Leonardo DiCaprio – but I am going to assume, based on her German roots, that the asshole that was filled was Leonardo DiCaprio, as she expelled everything in her asshole on his face, because when you get to his level of rich and famous, with girls throwing themselves at you from every angle, you need to experiment with things to get off…you are no longer normal and satisfied with hot pussy because all pussy you get is hot…so you need to dig deeper…it is kind of like what you have to do with masturbation… That said, here she is in Aqua du Coco or some other nonsense brand that is supposed to be swimwear, but that is more like some shit old rich women would wear to cover their plastic surgery scars and baby making scars that were all part of the struggle in gold digging. But Toni’s still alright.

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Toni Gaarn for Some Swimwear Line of the Day