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Charlie Sheen: Headed to HBO?!?

The lunacy of Charlie Sheen has resulted in CBS shutting down production on Two and a Half Men this season. But don’t think this news fazes the hilariously troubled actor, who texted from the Bahamas last night – where he’s vacationing with a pair of Sheen-proclaimed “goddesses,” Bree Olson and Natalie Kenly – and told Radar Online he’s nearing a deal with HBO. “I’m close to securing a deal… for a 10 show guarantee,” he wrote . “It will be epic, all types of guests and we will focus on the truth and the absurd!” Who could have guessed how prescient the folks behind Major League were when they dubbed Sheen’s character “Wild Thing?” No comment yet from that network, but Sheen is still under contract with CBS. Would he really leave a sitcom that pays him $2 million per episode? Yes. Because he claims the HBO deal would be worth $5 million/week. Can we believe anything from a man who orders suitcases full of cocaine, refers to himself as a ” High Priest Vatican Assassin Warlock ” and believes he’s “winning” at life because all of us “losers” cannot “process” his behavior? Of course not. But, however it comes about, this is our best guess: no way is Sheen starring on Two and a Half Men next season.

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Charlie Sheen: Headed to HBO?!?