What do Scott Disick and Don Draper have in common? Several things, actually: They’re both blackout drunks; they both have trouble keeping it in their pants; and the equipment that they struggle to keep sheathed is the subject of endless fascination on the Internet. Yes, the year is young, but it looks like we already have a winner for the 2017 Jon Hamm Giant Penis Award . The Lord himself, Scott Disick, stepped out wearing a pair of flattering sweatpants recently, and the world was immediately reminded that you can’t spell “Disick” with D-I-C-K. You can check out Scott’s package for yourself, or you can enjoy several hundred words of in-depth analysis below. Seems like an obvious choice, if you ask us: Like the Bieber Wang before it, the Disick Dong proves that a genetic link between douchiness and So if you’re a young woman who’s considering kicking your habit of dating self-obsessed jack-holes and finding yourself one of those mythical “nice guys” – don’t do it! Is the increase in your peace of mind worth the the absence of an extra-large helping of manmeat in your life? We think not. Sure, there’s been talk of Orlando Bloom having a bigger penis than Justin , but that might be the exception that proves the rule. Citing that example is like saying, “Where’s your climate change now, Obummer?” on a cold day in January. We have no choice but to defer to the scientific community on such important and complex matters, and right now, all we know is that 100% of the two biggest jerk-asses in Hollywood are packing between the legs. Now, you might be saying to yourself, “Oh, what about Jon Hamm? I heard he’s a nice guy.” To which we reply, “You’re wrong, and Hamm is reportedly kind of a DB .” We rest our case. Anyway, let’s get to the really important matter here, which is what all this tells us about Kourtney Kardashian’s vagina: In short: it’s clearly magic. The latest reports have Kourtney hooking up with Bieber again, just weeks after her latest reconciliation with Disick crashed and burned. View Slideshow: The Good, The Bad, The Lord: 23 Times Scott Disick Owned Reality TV When two of the industry’s most sizable douche dongs just can’t stay away from your hoo-hah, you’re clearly working with something special down here. We’ll have further updates on these supernatural celebrity genitals as more information becomes available.
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Scott Disick: Internet Flips Over Size of the Lord’s Dong
