The Real Housewives of Orange County Premiere:

The ORH (that’s “Original Real Housewives”) are back as the Real Housewives of Orange County season 8 premieres! This season promises drama, babies, and lots of blonde headed women–and Heather–knocking back wine and ” champs ” on Bravo’s flagship franchise. With new cast member Lydia McLaughlin joining in and former cast member Lauri Peterson set to return this season, there’s sure to be some drama. This should be awesome.     Vicki’s redecorating to celebrate Donn’s exit and Brianna and Ryan’s entrance. She’s ready to dive right into her role as grandmother. Plus 10 .   A quick minus 5 for calling Brianna huge.    Plus 3 for moving the furniture with her assistant instead of waiting for a man to help her and another plus 5 for the wine break while moving it!   Still reeling from Slade comparing her to Miss Piggy during his stand-up gig last season, Vicki’s been working out in the off season. And by working out, we of course mean getting a nose job, cheek injections, and a chin implant.   But hey, at least she’s not hiding behind “sinus surgery.” Plus 12 for honesty. Except she hasn’t told the other women.   Her relationship with Brooks is “unsettled.” After hearing it from so many people, she finally started to see him for the opportunist he is.    Can we keep New Vicki? I kind of like her right now.   At Casa Dubrow, Heather’s planning a clambake for the ladies. All the ladies except Alexis. Since they don’t get along, Heather doesn’t want Alexis in her life. Plus 5? Minus 5? I can’t decide. So, both. We’ll call it a wash.   Terry really, really likes onion rings.   Plus 15 to Heather and Terry for being awesome together.     Tamra and Eddie are co-habitating, with her kids, in preparation for their impending nuptials.   She’s moving forward with her fitness studio with Eddie as an investor. They’re splitting things 51 and she likes to let him know.    She also likes to let him know she hates his taste in decor. It does kind of suck.    Oh, hooray! It’s baby day! Briana’s in the hospital. How long before Vicki will try to find a way to make this all about herself?   Gretchen and Tamra are out shopping and Heather calls to let them know that Briana’s in labor. Heather suggests Tamra shoot Vicki a text and Tamra says she’ll text Briana instead. She and Vicki are still on the outs.    Tamra hasn’t talked to Alexis either. Apparently, Alexis took offense to being called “Jesus Jugs” during the reunion show and she and Jim have thought about suing Tamra .  Minus 8,  Alexis. Tamra’s mean, but Alexis walked into everything she said.   Briana’s been in labor for 18 hours. Still no baby yet. The doctors are talking c-section and Vicki’s freaking out.   Baby Troy is here!  Plus 50! He’s so tiny and cute and the little baby sneeze! Oh my god! The cute and I die!!   Briana makes babies and Gretchen can’t figure out how to make coffee.  Minus 8 . Slade has a new job as a radio DJ and without him there, Gretchen’s morning routine is suffering.  Minus 10 more for good measure.   Now that Slade has a real job, Gretchen has hired Cindy to help her manage her business and life. But Cindy is no Slade.     The Bellinos have moved into a new home, one which they own. But Alexis and Jim keep arguing about how to decorate the space. Alexis wants to change the art and Jim takes the opportunity to ask her what she knows about art. He’s such an ass.  Minus 12.   Alexis maintains that she was bullied by the other women last year. That they intentionally attacked her repeatedly because she was weaker than they were.   She knows about Heather’s clambake and knows that she wasn’t invited. She’s not ready to be around those women and Jim agrees that Alexis is right to avoid them all.    While preparing for the clambake, Heather’s micro-managing the people she hired to design and plan the party. Minus 7.    She’s also putting Tamra and Vicki across from each other at the table without bothering to find out if they’re even talking.    Eddie and Tamra are picking up Gretchen and Gretchen’s nervous about seeing Vicki. Vicki’s also nervous about seeing the other women but plans to be honest about the work she had done.    At Heather’s house, the chef Heather hired has prepared a meal that’s making my mouth water. Terry asks about onion rings. Again.   Tamra, Gretchen, and Eddie arrive at Heather’s house and after her last shindig, Heather has hired bodyguards.  Minus 8 for overkill.   Heather  has Gretchen seated next to Vicki and she and Tamra immediately go to work to try to needle Heather into changing the seating chart. Heather’s not budging.    Tamra and Gretchen also think that Vicki hasn’t actually broken up with Brooks like she says she has. What happened to honesty, Vicki?   Vicki has arrived and she’s ready to be a bitch to Tamra if Tamra’s a bitch to her. Cat fight! Bring it on, ladies!   EPISODE TOTAL: +37 SEASON TOTAL: +37

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Premiere:

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