Alyssa Miller is alright when half naked for Esquire…except for the simple fact that Jake Gyllenhaal, my enemy who actually got me into the tabloids after he attacked the girl I was fucking after I said “aren’t you the dude who killed Heath Ledger”…which was a valid question and didn’t need dude to react like a spoiled brat that he is… So when I see her amazingness, I smell the tainted Gyllenhaal vagina, but you never know, cuz he’s gay..

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Alyssa Miller for Esquire of the Day






















