The spaceship Covenant, director Ridley Scott’s latest flying deathtrap, carries 15 crew members, 2,000 colonists, 1,400 embryos, and zero pandas. Pandas insist on eating empty-calorie bamboo — they’re bears denying their carnivorous biology to chow down on 20-foot celery — and procreate so apathetically that cubs become Earth celebrities. Clearly there’s no sense in shipping… Read more »
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Alien: Covenant: We’re Not OK, Computer
