Tag Archives: afford-the-real

I’ll Take All Three Sofia Vergaras

Posted on June 5, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Well, here’s how you know that Sofia Vergara has officially made it into the big-time: she’s now got not one, but two creepy, dead-eyed wax statues of herself at Madame Tussauds. And looking at these pictures has given me an idea. Since obviously I could never afford the real Sofia, how can I buy one of the wax ones and make it my wife? I’ll just have to make sure the honeymoon is somewhere cold so she doesn’t melt. » view all 33 photos Related Articles: Sofia Vergara’s Breasts Win Big!!! Sofia Vergara Takes Her Big Breasts Out Sofia Vergara Ruins My Upskirt Shot Sofia Vergara Needs To Release The Tatas Photos: WENN.com

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I’ll Take All Three Sofia Vergaras

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Emily Ratakowski Instagram’s a Nude Bunny Pic of the Day

Posted on April 1, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Emily Ratakowski is keeping me in the Easter Spirit, even though I’ve never really been in the Easter spirit before this moment. I never really fell for trash strippers in bunny costumes, and I don’t really have great family memories of Easter, from a catholic orphanage in mexico with a molesting priest, to an obese wife who just doesn’t stop eating cake, Easter’s been pretty horrible across the board, long weekend or not…but Emily Ratakowski, the miracle worker, the hottest bitch in the game, perfection send down from Heaven, like she may be the messiah, you know Jesus after resurrected, cuz that’s the only way I can explain the religious experience that comes over me when I see her. She’s got me speaking in tongues…tongues I’d like to shove in her ass….but in a loving and caring way….maybe we’d even play some love songs while we do it. I’m a fan. This easter bunny shit is perfect. Keep it up baby, you’re inspiring me….to masturbate.

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Emily Ratakowski Instagram’s a Nude Bunny Pic of the Day

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Cisco Tschurtschenthaler Naked for Treats of the Day

Posted on April 1, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Cisco Tschurtschenthaler may have the most ridiculous name in modeling, not because she’s done a whole lot of work and built a reputation of a clown, but because shit is 18 fucking letters long. I’ve never heard of her, but I will probably remember her, not because I’ve seen her tits in TREATS magazine, or because she’s done anything substantial, but because her name is so fucking stupid. It’s one of those names that you modify for your career cuz magazines can’t afford the real estate to credit you. You know like Oliva Wilde or some shit, and her name is only Cockburn, not Tschurtschenthaler and asif her fucking first name is actually Cisco, I mean no one is named Cisco, leading me to think she’s stage named the wrong half of her identity. Ultimately, what is a fucking name when it comes to toplessness, shit don’t fucking matter. I don’t even ask the hookers I fuck for their names, shit is just noise and gets in the way of trying to get a boner for their titties. I just can’t get over this fucking name though…trying to pronounce it has been hysterical…

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Cisco Tschurtschenthaler Naked for Treats of the Day

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