Tag Archives: characters-only

The Great Works of English Literature– Now with Porn! [PIC]

A Tale of Two Titties? The Pud Also Rises? Snatch-22? Jane Bare? Madame Boner-y? Moby-Dick (You wouldn’t even need to change that one)? They’re coming to a bookstore [ Is that like a Kindle? -Kids these days] near you, and sooner than you might think. Publisher Clandestine Classics is hoping to combine the craze for literary mash-ups a la Pride and Prejudice and Zombies with the craze for dirty books a la 50 Shades of Grey with a new series, launching July 30, that makes explicit what the great works of English literature merely imply. Here’s how they sell it on their blog : “The old fashioned pleasantries and timidity have all been stripped away, quite literally. You didn’t really think that these much loved characters only held hands and pecked cheeks did you? Come with us, as we embark on a breathtaking experience—behind the closed bedroom doors of our favourite, most-beloved British characters.” Once again, porno is way ahead of the curve on this one. The adult industry has been churning out nude, rude versions of classic tales from Alice In Wonderland (1976) to the Marquis de Sade’s Justine (1969) to Bodacious Ta-Ta’s (1984) for decades now. What, you didn’t read Bodacious Ta-Ta’s in high school? See lusty literary icons come to life like Edwidge Fenech as Madame Bovary (1969) and Keira Knightley as the adulterous Lara in Doctor Zhivago right here at MrSkin.com!

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The Great Works of English Literature– Now with Porn! [PIC]

Salma Hayek’s Tits Do a Kids Show of the Day

I just had a conversation with someone about kid’s shows being really fucking creepy. We were talking about PeeWee’s Playhouse because he’s making some kind of masturbating in a porn theater comeback, and like everyone in the late 80s, I used to watch the shit, until recently being forced to watch it again, only to realize just how crazy it actually was. It was sexual, awkward and more than anything, pretty fucking insane. So if you haven’t watched a kid’s show as an adult, you will be surprised how fucking cracked out the shit is, it’s like a bad porno without the sex but instead with creepy tree-hugging hippies singing songs about bullshit and characters only serious hard drug use could think up. It is high energy, I’m talking bouncing off the wall insanity that would normally leave a motherfucker institutionalized if he was to do it on the street corner at 3 in the morning.. Apparently Salma Hayek, an entited mother celebrity mother who decided to do something to excite her spawn decided to pull some strings to show her kid just how cool she actually is and she did it while showing off her tits, making all the kids watching it hungry for milk…and scarring their brain into thinking tit, wanting tit and never quite knowing why they are so tit obsessed until serious therapy unravels this moment 20 years down the line…. Pics via PacificCoastNews Pics via LFI

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Salma Hayek’s Tits Do a Kids Show of the Day