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Duck Dynasty Recap: Who’s Got Beef With Jerky?

“As rednecks, we have the right to eat beef jerky.” So speaketh Jason Robertson, and another episode of A&E’s hilarious Duck Dynasty hath been born. When Willie receives a package of Biltong, a South African form of beef jerky (because we all get that in the mail), he doesn’t want to share it with the crew.   A jerk about beef jerky, you could say. Duck Dynasty Clip – Biltong This sets off the usual barrage of complaints in the duck call room, which prompts Si to set up an actual complaint box. There are just so darn many, jack! Among them? There is no unlimited supply of coffee, or iced tea dispenser, or sofa for napping. Also, the toilet paper is like John Wayne … it don’t take crap off nobody! Obviously, instead of doing actual work, this segues into the gang making their own beef jerky. Jase wants to call it Jase Jerky, and what better name could there be! In the process, they learn that Big John Godwin has a dehydrator in his shed. There’s also a lot of other things in his shed. Many of which are alive. After a bike race and many more jokes at Si’s expense, Jase wins and the lazy but endearing gang goes to make jerky. Except Jep, who is still racing. As they make the jerky, there are more jokes about the stench and flies. Korie is increasingly put off by the smell, but it was worth it for the humor. Duck Dynasty Clip – Complaint Box Elsewhere, Phil and Miss Kay visit Willie and tell him they’re dying. Not like right away, but the point was it will happen at some point, and leads into a conversation about who will get what when the couple does pass. Miss Kay says she fell asleep in the bathtub. Willie says nobody dies from that, and they admit they’re healthy, but the overall goal is still a valid one. They’re 65, and it’s time to talk about this inevitability at some point. They leave to check out the Robertson family land, a serious undertaking. They talk about who should get what and make backup plans for the assets. Morbid, to be sure, but Willie looks at it as a way to spend time with his dad and says he will pretend to be surprised by whatever he is given in the end. A good lesson. Also, they discuss urinating in an arc. Good times. Duck Dynasty Clip – Miss Kay’s Will

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Duck Dynasty Recap: Who’s Got Beef With Jerky?

Duck Dynasty Recap: Who’s Got Beef With Jerky?

“As rednecks, we have the right to eat beef jerky.” So speaketh Jason Robertson, and another episode of A&E’s hilarious Duck Dynasty hath been born. When Willie receives a package of Biltong, a South African form of beef jerky (because we all get that in the mail), he doesn’t want to share it with the crew.   A jerk about beef jerky, you could say. Duck Dynasty Clip – Biltong This sets off the usual barrage of complaints in the duck call room, which prompts Si to set up an actual complaint box. There are just so darn many, jack! Among them? There is no unlimited supply of coffee, or iced tea dispenser, or sofa for napping. Also, the toilet paper is like John Wayne … it don’t take crap off nobody! Obviously, instead of doing actual work, this segues into the gang making their own beef jerky. Jase wants to call it Jase Jerky, and what better name could there be! In the process, they learn that Big John Godwin has a dehydrator in his shed. There’s also a lot of other things in his shed. Many of which are alive. After a bike race and many more jokes at Si’s expense, Jase wins and the lazy but endearing gang goes to make jerky. Except Jep, who is still racing. As they make the jerky, there are more jokes about the stench and flies. Korie is increasingly put off by the smell, but it was worth it for the humor. Duck Dynasty Clip – Complaint Box Elsewhere, Phil and Miss Kay visit Willie and tell him they’re dying. Not like right away, but the point was it will happen at some point, and leads into a conversation about who will get what when the couple does pass. Miss Kay says she fell asleep in the bathtub. Willie says nobody dies from that, and they admit they’re healthy, but the overall goal is still a valid one. They’re 65, and it’s time to talk about this inevitability at some point. They leave to check out the Robertson family land, a serious undertaking. They talk about who should get what and make backup plans for the assets. Morbid, to be sure, but Willie looks at it as a way to spend time with his dad and says he will pretend to be surprised by whatever he is given in the end. A good lesson. Also, they discuss urinating in an arc. Good times. Duck Dynasty Clip – Miss Kay’s Will

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Duck Dynasty Recap: Who’s Got Beef With Jerky?

Duck Dynasty Recap: The Si Robertson Guide to Dating

On last night’s Duck Dynasty, employee Martin revealed that he had a date, which the Robertsons naturally had to step in and offer their two cents on. Jase, Korie and Jessica gave him a mini-makeover, and the true dating Ace in the Hole, Uncle Si, gave him a crash course in dating etiquette. Who better than Silas Robertson to handle that task? Duck Dynasty – Si Dating Tips “Even when you’re eating, don’t let the conversation die,” Si advised him … making parents of young children everywhere die just a little inside. In a confessional later, Si also dropped great suggestions of “lines that women love,” including the gem “Can I have directions … to your heart?” Naturally, to help him prepare, Si pretended to be the girl of Martin’s affections. “Hello Martin, my name is Tiffany,” he said, complete with a feather boa. Perhaps it was for the best, and not entirely surprising, when Martin told them the morning after that he took absolutely none of their advice. He was just himself, he said, and earned a second date. Oh well. Thanks and better luck next time, Si. Player. Meanwhile, Phil tried to teach his granddaughters to connect with nature instead of iPads, etc. It was predictably cute and very … Phil. Duck Dynasty Clip – Si Gives Martin Expert Dating Advice Duck Dynasty Clip – Phil Takes The Kids Fishing Some of the best Duck Dynasty quotes from last night: “If you like her, you need to put a ring on her.” – Si “They’re already suffering from digital dementia.” – Phil “Grandkids need to know standard things: How to bait a hook, how to cast a bait, how to bite a little snake in half — basic child rearing stuff.” – Phil “Y’all are like snack-eating computer freaks.” – Phil “If fish were vampires, Si would be like garlic, daylight, and a stake through the heart … simultaneously.” – Si     “You have a date … ? Is it Mother’s Day?” – Willie “Play the game? I was a player before they even invented the game, Jack.” – Si     “I didn’t date the girl from the ice cream parlor because she sampled the goods too much … if you get my drift.” – Si    “He can’t ‘be himself.’ That’s like throwin’ him to the wolves.” – Willie “He dresses like a seventh grader … who hasn’t yet discovered deodorant.” – Korie “His decorating style is kinda like a mix between ‘The Brady Bunch’ and that killer from ‘Silence of the Lambs.'” – Willie “We have entered the bowels of bachelorhood.” – Jase “You’re hoarding mustard, and you have an inordinate amount of socks.” -Jase “You look like a hairy Easter egg.” – Si “Darlin’, you’re on fire — like donut grease.” – Si “Women are dangerous creatures. They got ragin’ hormones, mood swings, lip stick, hairspray … They got all these little sticky pins in their hair. Hey, you talk about dangerous — one wrong move? ‘Boom!’ You’re gone.” -Si

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Duck Dynasty Recap: The Si Robertson Guide to Dating