It’s been quite a year for Olympic gold medalist and perennially sketchy bro, Ryan Lochte. As you probably remember, Lochte was caught lying about being robbed at gunpoint during the Rio Olympics, resulting in one of the most bizarre and baffling sports scandals in recent memory. But the Loch-mess has a leg up on the rest of the world in that his 2016 is actually ending on a positive note: Yes, Lochte announced today that he’s expecting his first child with fiancee Kayla Rae Reid. “My Christmas gift came early this year, can’t wait for next year!” the 32-year-old captioned the above Instagram post. “Best news I’ve ever received #CLOUD9 #excited #family #love #2017.” Until today, of course, the news that Lochte won’t do jail time for his idiocy in Rio was probably the best news he’d ever received. We kid, Ryan! Lochte and Reid got engaged in October, and clearly they got right to work on starting a family. A cruder site would make a joke about the speed of Ryan’s swimmers, but you’ll find no such boorishness here, good sir! Anyway, for most of the world, 2016 was a wall-to-wall sh-tshow, but Lochte’s had more ups and downs than a gnarly breaststroke, jeah ! He won gold in Rio, then lied and claimed he and his teammates were robbed in order to cover up for the fact that they got wasted and trashed a gas station. Shortly thereafter, Lochte went on Dancing With the Stars to kick off his unofficial apology tour. Things got off to a seriously rocky start when he was rushed by protestors while filming his first live segment. We encourage you to enjoy a guilty laugh by reliving that moment in the clip below: Ryan Lochte Protesters Get Tackled So to recap: Lochte won a gold medal, narrowly avoided arrest by fleeing South America, danced on a reality show, got the sh-t scared out of him by protesters, got engaged, and found out he’ll soon become a father. There’s only two and a half weeks left in 2016. Can the Lochster squeeze in any more insanity? Out guess would be: jeah! View Slideshow: 16 Things Ryan Lochte Definitely Would Do
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Ryan Lochte: Expecting First Child! (Unless He’s Lying Again!)