In This Means War , Chris Pine and Tom Hardy play CIA operatives battling for the heart of Reese Witherspoon. So it’s only natural for us to pit these actors against each in real life, too, isn’t it? Study the looks of Pine and Hardy at the Hollywood premiere of this romantic comedy (try to imagine the latter without his abundance of facial hair if that helps) and answer the pressing question that Witherspoon’s character faces in the movie: Who would you rather be interrogated by privately… if you know what we mean?
The Jersey City, N.J., booze emporium next door to where Snooki and JWoww are filming their upcoming Jersey Shore spinoff apparently wants nothing to do with them. So adamantly that they’re banned from the store! In a morally commendable, financially disastrous move, the place wants Snooki to steer completely clear … even posting a sign on the door telling her to keep the hell out. Talk about turning away a couple of potentially loyal customers . JWoww isn’t welcome there either, so the ladies will have to find a place to buy their binge drinking supplies somewhere else. Somehow we imagine they’ll manage. The general manager at the wine shop said that while the sign says “No Snooki,” it applies to her BFF too: “Even if Jwoww shows up at our door she will not be let in.” “The only thing they are good for is ridicule and amusement. There’s no upside business wise; the potential downside is God knows what. Why feed the embarrassment?” This guy is our new hero.
Paris Hilton is back! Or was … if only for a few hours! The ho-tel heiress’ new single, “Drunk Text,” was briefly leaked online today before being yanked off of YouTube within hours. What’s it about, you ask? Heck if we know, but the girl cannot sing. At all. Not that she even tries, really. Hilton raps/speaks monotonously over the beat… and that’s it. The music video was released today , but quickly pulled from YouTube with little explanation other than a violation of a copyright claim by Black Hole Recordings. Still, the instant classic video was up long enough for some pics to be screen grabbed, and for numerous people who heard it to report on its epicness. Some choice lyrics: “If you take the word ‘sex’ and mix it with ‘texting,’ it’s called ‘sexting’/When you add drunk sexting, the words just don’t make sense.” Toooootally. “It’s a hot mess of misspelled obscentities, body parts and run-on questions/not sure what he means to ask. Behind my eyes, I was begging for things my lips would never ask/And my mouth kept pouring desperate clauses of random intent.” “It’s just another moment, one stupid reply can lead to the walk of shame,” she goes on. “I’ll be damned if I end up in some lame diner after this/last night’s lingerie in my purse/it was just a drunk text…this is the last time I’ll ever drink and text.” Amen, Paris Hilton. A. Men.
Chris Brown and Rihanna raised more than a few eyebrows this week with their remixes of her hit “Birthday Cake” and his “Turn Up the Music” this week. Those two surprise collaborations have been followed by rumors that the singers may soon be collaborating in other ways, if you know what we mean. We mean sexually. If you’re wondering who put the reunion in motion (musically, that is), The-Dream, who produced the “Birthday Cake” remix , would know: Rihanna. “It was Rih’s idea,” he tells Billboard . “[Rihanna] is a friend of mine.” “It’s like, ‘You wanna do something? Then cool, let’s do it.’ I don’t know how she got the logistics, how it happened; maybe she’ll talk about it one day.” “I showed up at the studio, and it was like, ‘All right, cool, let’s finish this record,’ which we probably should have finished the first time we did it.” According to The-Dream, he approached the project solely on its musical merits and ditched any of the controversial baggage that may come with it. “For me, it’s just music: two talented people doing two records together, that’s what it was,” he says. “It wasn’t about an incident that happened.” He does acknowledge that the remixes’ controversy, however … “I think [the topic] that should be more on the tongues is: How do we proclaim to be a nation of forgiving … but we can’t actually do it?” he asks. “It actually makes you look weaker than your adversary, in a way, if you don’t have the power to forgive but you lie and say that you did.” “If [Rihanna] can forgive,” he says of Brown’s assault on her three years ago, “that’s where she is mentally. As a friend, it’s like, ‘OK, cool. Let’s roll.'” Fair. But do you think it’s smart for Rih and Chris to date again?
