Tag Archives: someone-jerks

Mariah Carey in Some Slutty Angel Costume of the Day

I don’t know what anti-depressants they prescribed Mariah Carey back when she had her burn out, panic disorder, agoraphobia, depression bullshit that went down a few years ago, before marrying Nick Cannon and relaunching her career, but I do know that they better not be handing them out to everyday girls, because the day I see a chubby chick in panties and a corest, busting out from every direction because she’s fat, I get worried, because she should realize that she has no business in this shit, she should realize no one wants to see the shit, but the chemicals in her brain make it all okay in her mind, but so wrong in mine, and now I’m gonna be forced to have nightmares of half naked fat chicks because I guess they’ve invented confidence in a pill form, when really they should have prescribed an eating disorder.

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Mariah Carey in Some Slutty Angel Costume of the Day

Jessica Alba is Dora the Explorer of the Day

For you perverts who get off to kids shows….and I know you fucking exist. Because anything you can think someone jerks off to, there is probably someone who has and really when it comes to Dora the Explorer, who really can’t find her dark complexion and little shorts hot, especially considering she is an explorer, something that usually translates into “Adventurous Enough For Anal”, something Alba probably should have channeled the night she flipped the used condom inside out after skipping her birth control pill to get knocked up to lock Cash Warren in for life, but instead was too emotional and scared of being alone

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Jessica Alba is Dora the Explorer of the Day