Tag Archives: website-apologizes

Donald Trump: I Wish I Could Bang Lindsay Lohan!

Warning: the following story will make you very sad and scared for the future of the human race. So … how about that Donald Trump? As of now, five different women have claimed that Donald Trump sexually assaulted them . Each of the women shared similar stories about how he kissed and groped them against their will, simply because he’s famous and he could. That last bit, by the way, that’s not part of the women’s stories or, you know, true or anything. It’s just that Trump has made it clear that he thinks that, because he’s famous, he’s free to do whatever he wants to whoever he wants. And if those people are already struggling emotionally, without him grabbing them “by the pussy”? Well, according to Trump, that makes it even better. Some disturbing quotes that the Donald made in a 2004 interview with Howard Stern have been making the rounds today, and this time, the object of his creepy affections is Lindsay Lohan. Hasn’t that poor girl been through enough ? Trump decided to go at Lindsay from the outside in, saying that while she was hot, she did have an awful lot of freckles. “You have to like freckles,” he said. “I’ve seen a, you know, close-up of her chest and a lot of freckles. Are you into freckles? I’m not into freckles, but the red hair thing I like.” And if that wasn’t disgusting enough, he then … here, just read it. “She’s probably deeply troubled,” he theorized, “and therefore great in bed. How come the deeply troubled women — you know, deeply, deeply troubled — they’re always the best in bed?” About those “deeply troubled women,” Trump also noted that “You don’t want to be with them for long term, but for the short term, there’s nothing like it.” Oh, and by the way, Lindsay had just turned 18 when this interview took place. Trump was 58. It’s all just so unbelievably horrible, isn’t it? You’d think, or at least you’d hope, that people would look at Lindsay Lohan and feel sorry for her for all she’s been through. Especially in 2004: back then, Lindsay hadn’t been to rehab yet, she hadn’t gotten a single DUI. The only thing that would have qualified her as “deeply troubled” at that point would have been her sketchy parents . So Donald Trump is the kind of man who sees an 18-year-old girl with a troubled home life and immediately starts thinking that she must be good in bed. But sure, he’s a great guy. Let’s make him president. What is HAPPENING to this world? View Slideshow: 20 Times Donald Trump Proved He Hates Women

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Donald Trump: I Wish I Could Bang Lindsay Lohan!

Kim Kardashian: Website Apologizes For Claiming Reality Star Faked Robbery

Earlier this month, Kim Kardashian was robbed at gunpoint  by men dressed as police officers who forcibly entered her Paris hotel room. Understandably traumatized by the experience, Kim kept off social media for a week (a lifetime in Kardashian years), and her family pleaded for privacy and compassion. Of course, asking Twitter and the tabloids for an ounce of empathy is like asking for gold panned from a river on Mars or a photo of Donald Trump not looking like he’s struggling with indigestion. Reports that Kim faked the whole thing  were everywhere within days of the robbery. This sort of rumor is not uncommon in cases like Kim’s (high-risk heist straight from a screenplay, mega-famous victim) and it was especially easy to imagine that there was some foul play on the part of the Kard clan given that faking drama is their bread and butter. So for the most part, Kim and her family seemed to just shrug off the increasingly ridiculous reports. (One plum gossip item claimed the theft was orchestrated by Kanye so he could cash in on the insurance money from Kim’s jewelry in order to cover his debts. Yeezy is many things. Broke ain’t one of them,) But there was one site that took things a bit too far by claiming to have hard evidence that the theft was a sort of false flag attack orchestrated by the Kardashians in order to drum up publicity and score some quick cash. If you’re familiar with the website Media TakeOut, you might know that it doesn’t have the greatest reputation when it comes to journalistic integrity or, ya know – the truth. The site published multiple articles claiming it had proof that Kim’s robbery was fraudulent. (Said proof was never furnished, of course.) Kim sued MTO, and not coincidentally, earlier today, the editors published a new piece about the theft with one of their signature CRAZY-ASS ALL-CAPS ALARMIST HEADLINES: “MTO EXCLUSIVE REPORT: We Have An UPDATE On The Kim Kardashian ROBBERY — And You Are Gonna Want To READ THIS!!!” The headline was just an elaborate attempt to score some hits off of what is really just a long apology addressed to Kim and her family. It reads, in part: “ Ten days ago a group of masked, armed men broke into Kim Kardashian’s Paris hotel room, bound and gagged her and stole millions worth of jewelry, including a $4.5 million diamond ring given to her by husband Kanye West. “We were one of those news agencies who questioned what may have truly taken place. “But now after speaking to sources, including some connected to the Kardashians, and getting further details on the sequence of events — we are now confident and without a doubt believe that Kim Kardashian was robbed as was reported to the Paris police. Anyone who is still questioning it, is wrong. ” It’s a victory for the Kardashians, and as a bonus, it might be the only factually accurate piece that’s ever appeared on MTO! Look, we get it, Kim makes an easy target and it can be hard to be sympathetic to someone who’s made a career out of flashing her wealth when said career choice comes back and bites her ample backside. But it’s ridiculous to think that she would risk everything she’s worked for a publicity stunt. The most famous people in the world generally don’t have to break the law to score a little media attention, so let’s just drop the whole “Kim faked getting robbed” narrative. Besides, the story is plenty dramatic enough on its own, especially following new reports that the robbery was an inside job . View Slideshow: Kim Kardashian Gets Robbed, Internet Goes Crazy We’re sure at this very moment someone at Media TakeOut is working on a post entitled, “KRIS JENNER SNATCHED UP KIM’S JEWELS AND PISTOL-WHIPPED HER ASS!” Just kidding, MTO!

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Kim Kardashian: Website Apologizes For Claiming Reality Star Faked Robbery