Last week the RHOC left off with Vicki speechless after learning that Briana eloped . This week, Vicki has Briana in tears, and they don’t appear to be tears of joy. Find out what happened in THG’s +/- review! Vicki and Tamra meet up at a lingerie store for bra fittings. Vicki’s bra fitter thinks she’s a FF. Tamra’s a 32D, which she feels is impossible given recent surgical de-enhancements. Tamra suggests that Vicki get Briana some bridal lingerie for her honeymoon. Minus 30 for the gross factor of your mother buying you lingerie. Ew. EW EW EW. Vicki thinks Briana’s eloping is disrespectful and wrong and is upset that it robbed her of all of the wedding planning “fun.” Minus 10 for being selfish, Vicki. This isn’t about you. I’ll give you a Plus 5 for realizing this isn’t about you and knowing you have to suck it up. But ONLY 5 because I don’t trust you to follow through with this. Slade’s getting ready to go for a ride on his bicycle and Gretchen’s getting ready for lunch with Tamra. Gretchen just wants everyone to get along. Slade just wants to get married to Gretchen. He meets up with Gretchen’s dad on his ride and asks for her hand in marriage. Plus 10 for being the gentleman Ryan wasn’t when he eloped with Briana. Slade doesn’t know if Gretchen’s ready, but he at least wants to let her know that those are his plans. Pops says he sees a wedding off in the distance and says that Slade needs to clean up his image before he gets the seal of approval. Then they ride off together into the sunset. Gretchen and Tamra meet for lunch and cocktails and Tamra tells Gretchen she’s thinking of starting her own business. She wants to open a fitness studio and she’s telling Gretchen first (after Eddie, of course). Something tells me this won’t make Vicki happy. Then Tamra asks Gretchen what’s up with Gretchen and Slade. Gretchen says she supports Slade in everything he does, but the past three years have been tough. Slade has debt issues and if Gretchen marries him, his issues become her issues. She’s financially sound and doesn’t want to ruin that. Plus 10 . And Gretchen doesn’t think she wants to get married because of unresolved issues from her previous marriage. Something tells me she and Slade are going to have an interesting conversation. Vicki’s getting ready for a party. She and Tamra are launching a wine company. They’ve decided the party should be a formal party because people in Orange County never get dressed up. Ever. (Uh, The O.C. told me differently, Vicki.) And she’s going to make the announcement that Briana’s married. Because this is a big deal that everyone is going to freak out over, right? Minus 10 , Vicki. This announcement is more about you than it is about anyone else, including Briana and Ryan. From the one-on-one, it seems like Briana has issues with the fact that Vicki’s divorce isn’t final but she’s dating Brooks already. Hmmm, pot? Kettle? Vicki’s planning to introduce Brooks to her kids at the party when she knows that Briana’s not ready to meet Brooks. I can almost feel the fireworks already, can’t you? The flashbacks from previous seasons show just how delusional Vicki is regarding Briana and their relationship. Tamra and her son arrive at the launch party for the wine club first with Vicki and Brooks close behind. Tamra thinks Vicki’s headed for a nervous breakdown. Gretchen and Slade and Heather and Terry arrive and the only wife we’re missing is Alexis. Plus 5 for that! Tamra has an impromptu consultation with Dr. Terry about having her tattooed wedding ring removed as a surprise for Eddie. Brooks cracks the lamest joke in the history of jokes when he introduces himself to Michael, Vicki’s son, as Brooks and Dunn. Minus 20 . Brooks tells Michael that the two of them have a lot in common and thanks him for supporting Vicki in the past year. He tries to chat to Michael about Briana’s new marriage. Awkward.
