When you hear the name Johnny Cash, you probably think of the rugged, gravel-voiced Man in Black who was as well-known for his hard-partying ways as for his timeless contributions to the world of country music. But apparently, beneath that rough exterior beat the heart of a true romantic, because when Cash wasn’t penning tunes about shooting men just to watch them die, he was composing love letters that would make the badass inmate at Folsom get a little misty. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, a British insurance company commissioned a poll to determine the greatest love letter of all time. Despite some stiff competition from the likes of poet John Keats and Henry VIII (?!), Cash came out on top with this mash note for his wife June Carter Cash, written on her birthday in 1994: If it just got a little too dusty in here for you to make out the text, here’s what Cash had to say to his longtime love: “We get old and we get used to each other. We think alike. We read each others minds. We know what the other wants without asking. Sometimes we irritate each other a little bit. Maybe we sometimes take each other for granted. “But once in a while, like today, I meditate on it and realize how lucky I am to share my life with the greatest woman I ever met. You still fascinate and inspire me. You influence me for the better. You’re the object of my desire, the #1 Earthly reason for my existence. I love you very much.” Yeah, feel free to crib that one word-for-word if you’re at a loss for what to scribble in your last-minute Hallmark card, fellas. Makes Michael Jordan’s love letters sound like the lunatic ramblings of a man driven to insanity by the thought that he might one day own the Charlotte Bobcats. The 2005 film Walk the Line memorably depicted June and Johnny’s romance, but this letter gives us a sense of what really kept the First Couple of Country Music united throughout their many ups and downs. So steal from Mr. Cash, if you can. Whatever you do, don’t take any cues from the unbelievably awkward Valentine’s Day cards in the gallery below: 17 Awkwardest Valentine’s Day Cards 1. Modern Love View Photo This is what long-term relationships aspire to be like in the age of the iPhone. 2. Commitment is Scary View Photo Let’s just put that out there at the onset before we get too serious. 3. We’re a Thing View Photo Who needs labels? I’m glad we’re a thing, whatever that thing might be. 4. #webothhatethesamestuff View Photo Nothing sums up a match made in heaven than a hashtag acknowledging mutual dislike for the same things. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 5. Obsessed With You View Photo I’m obsessed with you. But I know that sounds kind of weird, so I swear it’s non-creepy. 6. I Love You and Cats View Photo Because relationships come and go, but cats are forever. 7. You Auto-Complete Me View Photo You don’t just complete me. You complete me so obviously that a search engine knows it instantly. 8. You’re Okay View Photo You’re okay on Valentine’s Day. The ultimate vote of confidence. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 9. Three Words, Eight Letters View Photo It’s not always easy to say “I love you” … in fact most of the time it can be excruciating. 10. More Than Pizza View Photo If you love someone more than pizza, he or she must be a keeper … because PIZZA!! 11. There’s a Card For Everything View Photo This Valentine’s Day card may be really specific, but if you’re in this situation, how perfect is it?! 12. Pause-Worthy View Photo I would pause my game for you, which means you must be really special. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 13. You Are Not Bad View Photo A perfect Valentine’s Day message for someone who doesn’t totally suck at life. 14. I Like Like You View Photo I more than just like you. I like like you. If that makes any sense. 15. Kanye Loves Kanye View Photo Kanye loves Kanye, a lot, and I love you almost to that ridiculously high degree. 16. I Heart You, Asterisk View Photo I heart you … but with a fairly long and involved disclaimer. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 17. Taking it Slow View Photo The ever-popular “let’s take things slow” V-Day card, with hilarious Internet Explorer analogy. The End. Did you like 17 Awkwardest Valentine’s Day Cards? If so, please share: Share on Facebook Tweet on Twitter Email a Friend Pin on Pinterest Want more? Get more content like this delivered to your inbox for FREE:
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Johnny Cash Love Letter Voted Greatest of All Time: Read It and Weep!
