Late last year, Modern Family star Sarah Hyland revealed her second kidney transplant and shared that she had been experiencing suicidal ideation. Now, speaking to Ellen DeGeneres, she is elaborating on that experience. Sarah even explains how she fought back against the overpowering desire to end her own life. As we have reported, Sarah Hyland's health battle is more like a health war, made up of many individual battles. As she notes to Ellen, she has undergone 16 surgeries. Sarah adds that she has received two kidney transplants. She also has endometriosis, an extremely painful condition. A couple of years ago, her body went into rejection of her transplanted kidney, forcing her to go on dialysis. Sarah has also been plagued by gout, a condition in which agonizing crystals form, often on the joints of the hips. All of this was while she was filming Modern Family . Sarah opened up to Ellen about her constant agony and medical trauma nearly drove her to take her own life. “At the time I was 26, but after 26, 27 years of just always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day,” Sarah says. “And,” she continues. “You don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day, it’s really, really hard.” “I would write letters in my head to loved ones of why I did it,” she says, referring to contemplating suicide. “And,” she continues. “My reasoning behind it, how it was nobody’s fault.” “I didn’t want to write it down on paper,” Sarah adds. “Because I didn’t want anybody to find it.” “That’s how serious I was,” Sarah Hyland says. She admits that she came “very, very, very close” to ending her life. Sometimes, a person experiences a life change that helps them avoid acting upon suicidal ideation. But Sarah had to be her own hero. “It ended up being myself that got me out of that,” Sarah reveals. “I had to do it on my own,” Sarah explains. “I told myself I had to do it on my own.” She shares a tip that could help others save their own lives. “Just saying it out loud helped immensely,” Sarah reveals. “Because,” she continues. “I kept it to myself for months and months at a time,” “I didn’t want anybody to know that I was that close,” she explains. “Because if they knew,” Sarah adds. “They would try to persuade me.” “Every person with their anxiety or depression or if you have suicidal thoughts, every individual is different,” Sarah is quick to note. What worked for one person might not work for another. “So,” she continues. “I wouldn’t just rely on everything that I say.” “I’m just sharing my story,” Sarah emphasizes. “But,” she concludes. “I think talking to someone and saying it out loud really, really makes it sound almost ridiculous and it puts it into perspective.” Sarah's reasoning makes a lot of sense. Sometimes a problem, whether it's a relationship issue or a programming bug or a case of writer's block, has a solution. There are times when all that the person needs to do is explain the problem to another person in order for the solution to occur to them. In Sarah's case, she is saying that speaking about her suicidal ideation helped her to dismiss the idea of actually ending her life. She has so much to live for. There are millions of Americans with chronic pain who, thanks to reactionary laws and policies, are struggling to get effective painkillers. We hope that Sarah's brave words can help them and others.
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Sarah Hyland: I Came Very, Very Close to Committing Suicide
