Dear Bossip, I’m in my 30s, and me and my homeboy was cool as hell. We had always flirted with each other, but we were with other people. We would send X-rated pics, sweet texting, etc. He got locked up and his girlfriend at the time played him out. I stepped in and did the bid. It was getting heavy between us. I met his mom and created a bond with her. We planned a future together. I was even planning to move to be closer to him. Mind you he was a drug dealer (Big Boy). But, anyway, I found out that this girl that act like his sis they end up hooking up. But, he’s telling me to stay away from her. He said she was his ex-jail mate’s girlfriend, and her boyfriend found a letter that they are planning this all along. He’s telling me she was helping us. Bull-ish! Like my money was paying for stamps to mail her letters and stuff. Or, he’s just using her until he gets out next month? I didn’t put him in there. I really love him. I should just chalk it up right? I feel he is just a hungry person trying to eat by any means no matter who he hurts. – Ride Or Die Dear Ms. Ride Or Die , This can’t be life! You can’t be for real with this letter. I know you can’t be a grown woman talking about she knowingly decided to get into a relationship with a dude who is locked up, and really thinks your life is going to change for the better once he gets out. You really don’t believe that. (Glances over at the brochures for my Women’s Academy For Intellectually Challenged Women). Ma’am, I refuse to become complicit in this scheme and drama between you and your “Big Boy” drug dealer locked up boyfriend. You mean to tell me that you, A GROWN A** WOMAN, in her 30s, is going to ride or die, and do a bid with your “homeboy” that now, all of a sudden, you’re dating him while he’s locked up because his girlfriend played him out? You’re riding with a dude who is locked up for criminal activity, and you really think you have a possible future with him? What future is that ma’am? (I’ll wait). So, let me get this straight: Your man’s ex-jail mate’s girlfriend (I can’t believe I just typed that), is playing like his sis. But, they have hooked up. How, may I ask, have they hooked up? She’s writing him just like you are. She is putting money on his books just like you are. So, therefore, he is pimping you and her from his jail cell. Your Big Boy, your drug dealer, is running game from behind jail walls, and you’re sitting up getting mad and angry because he is only doing what he knows how to do. He’s a hustler. He’s a boy. And, he’s locked up! He is using you and her, just like he uses other people in his life. You are nothing but someone to pass the time with while he’s locked up. He will never be serious about you, care about you, or love you. He is only telling you what you want to hear in order that you keep him connected to the outside world. You are his eyes and ears of what’s happening in the streets. He plays the role of keeping you strung on this false sense of hope of a relationship by gassing you up, and playing with your emotions and mentality. You are a game to him. A pawn. Damn, donkeys! Girl, please grow up. Get your life together, and stop acting like your thirteen. You are in your 30s bragging about dating a man who is locked up. And, he is not a smart criminal at that. He’s just as dumb! He’s not a real “Big Boy,” if he’s sitting in jail and he’s got you and some other chick writing him and sending him money. Girl, stop! Please stop! How about you focus on getting some education, we’re accepting students for the Fall semester into our academy, so get your application in early. We can even offer a full scholarship for grown birds who do bird behavior, but don’t see themselves as birds. We will need a letter of recommendation, and statement of purpose explaining why you feel you’re not a bird. You are too damn old to be acting like this, and you certainly are too damn old to be talking about you met his mother and formed a bond. So, what does that prove? He’s in jail because he committed a crime. He has no goals, no ambition, and no direction. He will do nothing for you, bring nothing to the table, or improve your situation (which isn’t much in the first place). Regardless, please think about a real future of empowering yourself, acting like a mature woman, an adult who has some damn sense. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: After He Got Locked Up We Became An Item & I Learned He’s Using My Money To Write Some Other Woman
