Dear Bossip, I’m in a bit of a pickle and I’m, not sure where to go with this situation at all. Me and my boyfriend have been together on and off since our early 20′s…….he’ll be 30 this year and I’ll be 28. Anyway in the last 2 years we’ve been together exclusively and officially and so far everything has been good. We know each other like a book and because we have such a lengthy history and we love each other on a deeper level….friends first. Lately him and his boys have been going out and for whatever reason they always end up at the strip club. At first I didn’t sweat it be cause I know full well that that is something that men do with their boys all the time but I feel like it’s getting out of hand! He goes out at least twice a week to the strip club and he comes home reeking of broads and liquor and at first I didn’t care because he would be highly sexual and please me when he got home but I don’t want strippers to be the source of his arousal with me. I don’t know if I’m being jealous or if I’m legitimate with my worries. Please shed some light! Thank you for your time. Happy Almost there Thursday, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! So your man is a frequent at the local strips joints, so much so, the strippers may know him by name, huh? Well, you are completely legitimate in your concerns because you don’t want another woman or women to be the reason why he comes home and gives you the good loving. It’s unsettling, to say the lease, that he smells of another woman when he returns home to you and may be so inebriated that he hardly remembers the intimacy you shared the night before! So, your concerns are valid. Here’s the deal about strip clubs, many men go to them on a regular basis to fill a void that they may be missing at home. So, the best thing to do would be to open very candid lines of communication and explore his thoughts and feelings. Find out if he feels like he’s lacking in certain areas of your relationship and what you could do remedy the situation. This would also create the platform for you to speak your mind also and if you’re lacking fulfillment, that would be the time to let him know so the both of you could work on growing your relationship. You should never underestimate the power of communication in your togetherness, without it, you have nothing! But before you open this door of communication though, Ma, wrap your brain around hearing things you may not want to hear and instead of being on the defense, be ready to maintain a solid, solution-driven frame of thought. From what you’ve written, you seem to be content and comfortable in your coupledom aside from your man’s frequent visits to the booty bars. And if you communicate openly, it shouldn’t be a deal breaker! If you don’t want him in the strip clubs more than a 2-3 times a month, let it be known. If you don’t want him there at all, let it be known! Be honest with yourself first and then extend it to your man. But remember to be ready for his honesty even though you may not like what he has to say. He may just like for you to kick up your adventurism in the bedroom a notch or two and didn’t know how to say it but whatever it is, remember, stay in the lane of finding the solution and come to an agreement! Best of luck to you, sis! Best of luck! What are your thoughts, Bossip fam? Please share them below! Please remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, questions and feedback to loveandrelationships@bossip.com !
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Dear Bossip: He Loves the Strip Clubs
