Dear Bossip , I’m dating a man that is married. We do live together, and we have been together for a year now. His four kids come over to visit, but his wife is still in love with him and she accuses me of whooping her kids. I don’t even whoop my own son. It’s crazy, but now she wants all four of the kids to live with us because she can’t provide for them anymore (but he pays all of her bills for the kids). I want him to get a divorce and pay child support. Am I wrong for that? And, also should I let his children move in with us? Please help me. – I Want Him Not His Kids Dear Ms. I Want Him Not His Kids , WOW! Really? You actually thought about this situation, and decided to write in to ask advice on what you should do about dating a married man, and if you should let his kids move in with you? WOW! SMDH! You’d rather take a man away from his wife and kids, and have him abandon his kids when their mother wants him to take them in, just so you can have him. You are pathetic. Sad. Trifling. You’re living with another woman’s husband, and you have been doing so for a year. You are so excited about having another woman’s husband in your bed that you cannot fathom the idea or thought of him bringing his children with him to live with you. Yet, you want him to be a father to your child? No, don’t get me wrong. I understand what you want and what you’re saying. You want him to pay child support and be there for his children, just not in your house. You don’t want to raise another woman’s kids. You’ll rather he be a distant father, and have them visit from time to time, but just not live with you. You are not looking to sign up to be a stepmom. You just want him. Where is your child’s father? Why don’t you dump your child on him and leave him with him, and then you and your cheating man can live together in peace. Therefore, you won’t have any children interfering in your relationship and house. Oh, that doesn’t work for you? That is not an option? Well, what if he asked you to give up your son because he doesn’t want to be a father to another man’s child. What if he asked you to abandon your son and pay child support because he is not interested in living in your house with your child, but he only wants you. Would you give up your son? Will you abandon your child just so you can have this man? I find it sad and ratchet that you, as a woman and mother, would find it okay to sleep with another woman’s husband and move him into your house. I don’t care what’s going on in their marriage, and what he may have told you. The fact still remains that he is married. The fact still remains that he has children with her, and he is a father. You are willing to take him away from his family for your own selfish desires and wants. You are so desperate that you will actually want him to walk away from his fatherly and parental duties just so you can say you have a man. Just know that the very way he left her, and the very way he is abandoning his children will be the same way he will leave you and treat you. And, just know that the reason he won’t divorce her is because he will be trapped with alimony, paying child support, and he will be stuck living with you and being broke. And, that is not an option he really wants. So, instead of moving him into your home, and dating a married man, how about you move him out of your home, and find a single man who is not attached to another woman. How about you demand that he not walk away from his responsibilities, and stand up and do what he needs to do to make sure his children are taken care of. And, you need to work on your own personal identity, self-esteem, and self-worth. You should work on why you find it okay for you to ask a man to leave his wife and family to be with you, and you’re not willing to accept all that he comes with, including his children. You are shady, tired, trifling, and mean. If he does leave his wife for good, I’m sure he won’t marry you. You are just a rest stop on his way to another woman. Trust. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: I’m Dating A Married Man, But His Wife Wants His Kids To Come Live With Us & I’m Not Sure I Want Them
