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There was a time when the Real Housewives of New Jersey was fun to watch — and that time has long since passed. Viewers are now stuck with a cast of four (you’re better off, Dina) quibbling housewives playing tug of war with the cameras as they fight to show off every gory detail of their breast augmentations, gratuitous shopping trips and their descents into stage-motherhood. Last night’s installment was no different. Danielle recovered from her latest surgery and discovered new battle tactics courtesy of Paris Hilton. Meanwhile, Jacqueline and Teresa splurged on a shopping spree that caused PETA members worldwide to weep. And somewhere, Caroline Manzo cried about the loneliness of fame, or something. Instead of reconsuming the fattening filler, join Movieline after the jump to get the heartiest moments — both real and fake — from last night’s episode.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Reality Check: Where Did All the Fun Go?