Tag Archives: drunken-paula

Kate Middleton Feeds my Cowgirl Fetish of the Day

Here’s Kate Middleton ….dressed like a cowboy in canada for stampede bullshit… If you’re like me, then you’ve always had the fantasy of having your car breakdown while driving through a farm community, forcing you to go to the nearest farmer and ask for a bed to sleep in because it isn’t 2011 and we don’t have tow trucks, cell phones or any other necessities needed to get off the road when we break down….. where he decides to offer you a warm meal and his hot hick daughter ravages you while you sleep in the barn with the sheep…only to get caught as you’re coming but the gun toting dad who is mad cuz he wants her pussy all to his hick inbred self…. We’ve all seen that scene in the movies and the pornos….unrealistic….but still hot….and now Kate Middleton is feeding it….all inbred with her inbred husband….dressed like a cowgirl ready to rodeo on your dick…until Prince William catches you and comes at you with his redheaded erection and military trained marksman rifle pointed at your head before he taps into his homosexual cuz he is british roots… and rapes you….cuz that’s really what happens when the farmer catches the guy with his daughter or wife…they just don’t tell you that part in the movies…ruining this fantasy all together….but I’m posting the pics anyway… Sidenote….she’s not even that hot….maybe it’s the cowboy hat…but I think it is her shitty looking face. TEAM PIPPA.

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Kate Middleton Feeds my Cowgirl Fetish of the Day

Aurdina Patridge in a One Piece for a Failing Magazine of the Day

I don’t have access to the accounting documents or year end reports over at FHM, but I think it is safe to say that no one buys their magazines anymore, and their slow and useless attempt to go online, just never really gave them the glory they once had, since everyone any their younger brother can produce drivel content about nothing and post it next to pics of bitches in their bikinis….I mean this video had 4,000 views when I pulled it and it’s been up for 5 days…and features a once famous bitch hardnippled…that’s fucking embarrassing perforamnce…useless FHM shoulda kept advertising on DrunkenStepfather.com… See, the only thing these Maxim and FHM sites ever had going for them was the access to celebrity bitches they had….They consistently had hot bikini photoshoots with relevant people….but I guess as budgets dropped so did their talent pool…cuz seeing Audrina Patridge, a virtual nobody, who had her 15 minutes, that unfortunately lasted 2 years try up a year ago…by now she should be doing porn not magazine covers…I mean shit, I bet I could get Audrina to do a shoot for DrunkenStepfather.com….and I would only pay her in cum shots….if you know what I mean… That said, here’s the photoshoot, you’ll unfortunately like it, taking her one step backwards from the porn career she should already be milking like a cock. So much fucking bottom feeding everywhere I look…it’s coming at me from all fucking angles…

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Aurdina Patridge in a One Piece for a Failing Magazine of the Day

Kellie Pickler Inbred Bikini Picture of the Day

I remember watching Kellie Pickler on American Idol, back when I had a TV and before Ryan Seacrest encouraged her to get these small implants to better her career….before fame and fortune by her hick inbred standards hit…when she was just some backwoods hick crying about her grandfather who it was apparent she was having sex with…at least as far as I was concerned….maybe it was cuz he was toothless, or maybe it was because he was also her brother, father and conveniently the only man in their backwoods town…and there’s just something about hicks…maybe it is their lack of education…their lack of dental hygiene, or really hygiene as a whole, maybe it’s their good country values, or maybe it is that they start fucking at a young age when no wrestling lawn furniture that really talks to me…and unfortunately, here’s this inbred hick gone hollywood…back home they don’t even have bikinis, just old burlap potato sacks until you get lucky enough to bust out great gandmaw’s roadkill bikini woven with 4 months of roadkill suppers….who cares….this tight body makes inbreeding seem right….iI mean if you’ve fucked a family memeber, the orgasms probably already sold you…but this is for the non-inbreeders….which I assume there is at least one of you out there…it also makes growing up on a diet of rationed poor man’s squirrel stew seem like something they need to bring to the obese mainstream… Here’s her audition video from American Idol….Drunken Paula is the highlight Here’s she doing some smarter than a third grader – and guess what she’s not smarter than a third grader….

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Kellie Pickler Inbred Bikini Picture of the Day