I don’t know what this event is for, but I’m glad that Playboy Playmate Holly Madison’s big boobies decided to show up. Holly’s boobs are very special to me, we go way back, so I get a little choked up sometimes when I see them all dressed up in a bikini top on the red carpet. I’m just so proud of them. If I was terminally ill, I think I would want to be smothered to death by her boobs. I think she would do it too, she seems very compassionate. I know this because her likes include the color pink and playing with her dog and her dislikes are watching bloggers die of insufferable diseases without ever feeling the sweet sweet softness of Holly Madison’s boobs on their face. Thankfully I’m not in that situation, but it’s probably a good idea if we go through some practice runs just in case. The safe word is applejacks.
