The Jay Leno Show died today. It was five months old. Tonight, a half-dead zombie version of the show briefly rose from its deathbed to celebrate its own demise. This was about as fun as you would expect. The Jay Leno Show ‘s cause of death has been the subject of much controversy in past weeks. But all signs tonight pointed to the failure of that most vital of organs: The host. “This show was supposed to last 2 years, but my sentence was reduced to five months for good behavior,” gasped Leno. “Five months! Do you realize guys on viagra had erections that lasted longer than that?” The audience’s laughter could not hide the underlying horror; if you’re going to have a zombie stagger around telling jokes on stage, at least make them good jokes! A short video was played in honor of the deceased. It was celebrity-studded and about as funny as someone drawing a dick on a roadside cross which marks the site of a bus crash. There could have been no more fitting tribute to The Jay Leno Show . Ashton Kutcher delivered a eulogy: “I felt like it was fitting that I came on the last show to reveal that the whole Tonight Show /earlier show thing was a punk.” As did Bob Costas : “The Last ’10@10’ huh? Kind of like being involved in the last broadcast of a Clipper’s season, isn’t it?” And just to make sure we didn’t miss it too much , the show included one final installment in the worst comedy bit in all of television: “Beer Pong Shot at of the Week.” And with that, The Jay Leno Show passed away. The final Jay Leno Show was not a tearful goodbye; it was a smirking retreat. Which is fitting, since nobody’s crying over its demise. We’ve all heard how NBC mad scientists are even now working feverishly in their hilltop fortress to breath monstrous new life into the show’s purifying corpse. Quickly, fellow TV-watchers! Our only hope is to draw and quarter this abomination and scatter its parts to very ends of the earth! Dear God. Do you hear that? We’re too late… The Tonight Show with Jay Leno . It’s… it’s… It’s alive!
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The Jay Leno Show: 2009-2010
