Tag Archives: alaska-step

Garcelle Beauvais Outs Husband as Tiger Woods, Jesse James Equivalent

Mike Nilon, you’ve… been… served! The heretofore unknown husband of actress Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon is in the news today because his wife fired off an email to everyone that works at Creative Arts Agency (Mike’s place of employement). Its subject line? “Tiger Woods/Jesse James/Mike Nilon.” It’s not hard to imagine where Beauvais-Nilon went from there, is it? This is what the widely-circulated email allegedly says: “What do they have in common . . . I found out today that MY husband of almost 9 yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago. I am devastated!!!! And I have been duped!! Our boys don’t deserve this!” It could be worse, Garcelle. That “slut” could also be a lying Nazi worshipper . Just sayin. The couple has twin two-year old boys named Jax and Jaid. Shortly after they were born, the actress said about her husband: “He’s just really loving. He loves me no matter what I look like. It’s really important to find somebody that you love and you want to share your life with, and especially when there’s kids involved. We don’t take it lightly.” Beauvais (we’ve already removed his name from yours, honey) is best known for her four-year portrayal of an attorney on NYPD Blue . In the end, we hope she holds her head up high, secure in the knowledge that this is Mike Nilon’s loss? Why? He’ll never see this naked body ever again!

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Garcelle Beauvais Outs Husband as Tiger Woods, Jesse James Equivalent

Barack Obama Goes Nuclear on Sarah Palin

The White House’s declaration that the U.S. will not respond to a conventional attack with nuclear weapons has come under attack itself … from Sarah Palin. Speaking in Minnesota, the former Alaska Governor and current professional celebrity said no previous administration would’ve ever considered such a step. “It’s unbelievable,” Palin said at a rally . “It’s like getting out there on a playground, a bunch of kids, getting ready to fight, and one of them says, ‘Go ahead, punch me in the face. I’m not going to retaliate. Do what you want to with me.'” That’s what Bristol Palin said to Levi Johnson! Sorry. Moving on. “This is another thing that the American public, the more they find out what is a part of this agenda, they’re going to rise up and say ‘no more,'” Sarah said. WHAT? WHO? Barack promptly shot down his harshest critic . Unaware or unwilling to consider nuance, Palin’s foreign policy is four words long: We win, you lose! Suffice it to say, the President, who believes reducing global nuclear proliferation and tension helps the U.S. “win” along with everyone else, was unmoved. “Last I checked, Sarah Palin is not much of an expert on nuclear issues,” Barack Obama told ABC, declining to elaborate but adding an additional jab at critics. “What I would say to them is that if the Secretary of Defense and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff are comfortable with it, I’m probably going to take my advice from them, and not from Sarah Palin,” he told George Stephanopolous. Dude, you can see Russia from Alaska. Step off and let a pro handle it. Who’s the bomb when it comes to defense and foreign policy?

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Barack Obama Goes Nuclear on Sarah Palin