I don’t get invited to parties, I never really did, I was the guy no one wanted around, but I’m cool with that…I guess it is expected when you are the weird guy who doesn’t shower you catch in dirty laundry hamper playing with your mom’s dirty panties….I am sure you know what I mean…. So this Macy’s Glamorama bullshit went down and they attracted a whole lot of weirdness, I wasn’t included in the fun, but I figured I’d document what we all missed… —- They biggest guest was Michael Jackson in his female costume, cuz we all know dude’s not dead, he’s just decided to be Latoya Jackson and he’s loving all the new found love. Aubrey O’Day was there with her fake tits and thick body she designed to seduce black men, and by designed I mean overate thinkin’ she’d corner a market, that turned out to not be a good strategy, despite having had the opportunity to hang with MJ in his Lady costume… They also had the redheaded bitch from the Andy Dick and Negro who isn’t Whoppi on The View show, who lost 50 lbs with Jenny Craig but still has a stupidly large head….that makes her look like she didn’t lose any weight on the Jenny Craig commercial…totally defeating the whole point of losing the weight…and scaring us by making us think this weightloss has made her more sexual…cuz we know it has…it always does…but the good news is that she’s still a fat pig to me… The show stopper was that they managed to steal this human/giraffe hybrid from the lab to make an appearance…what the fuck is this thing….
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The Best Party I Wasn’t Invited To of the Day
