Tag Archives: meh

The Google CEO and His Mistress: The Tell-All Blog

Eric Schmidt has long campaigned for free-flowing information, and even against the very idea of secrecy . But we doubt the Google CEO loves disclosure so much he’ll approve of an indiscreet blog-cum-memoir by his sometime mistress. Schmidt parted ways with Bohner last summer , but that hasn’t kept him out of what a tipster in his ex-girlfriend’s social circle called her “pet project:” a multimedia confessional autobiography, including a Google-hosted blog called “Recovery Girl 007” , and eventually a book. On the blog, Bohner writes about Schmidt, dubbing him “Dr. Strangelove” and disclosing that he gave her a prototype iPhone. She also calls Steve Jobs a “stoned Jesuit preist” (more below). That aside, the intricate online memoir-in-progress primarily details Bohner’s recovery from cocaine and alcohol addiction via 12-step programs and yoga. It’s not clear how Bohner is funding the project, which has seen the former CNBC correspondent hire an art director, webmaster and editor, all prominently credited here and at the bottom of this post in what might just be the most crowded masthead ever assembled for a personal Blogspot. One gossip thinks Schmidt’s money is somehow behind the project, but we’re not so sure; barely a year ago, when he was still dating Bohner, the married billionare was showering her with little more than love and jewelry, despite an overture for him to put money into the documentary company where Bohner worked. Maybe Bohner’s hocked some of those gifts, or is simply relying on savings. It certainly doesn’t seem as though she’s become reentangled with Schmidt; our tipster wrote that the couple are “hitting it too occasionally for her liking” — which could well mean not at all. What Bohner has so far detailed of her personal autobiography is certainly rattling stuff of the sort that would pull a caring lover’s heartstrings. She writes about snorting cocaine in Hyde Park, London; bingeing on tequila in Los Angeles; sipping brandy at age eight; quitting booze and then relapsing; shaking and heaving at a friend’s house when trying to go dry; and getting checked in to a detox center. (It is a “Colonel Stevenson” who introduces Bohner to brandy as a child in Southern Spain. That this same Colonel Stevenson appears on Bohner’s more public blog is, along with a pointer from our tipster, how we know the former Donald Trump ghostwriter is also responsible for the Recovery Girl 007 blog.) We assume Bohner will also eventually give the backstory behind her criminal record. Using her birth day and year, gleaned from her blog, and a public records search, we found she’d been sentenced to just under three years (of probation?) in South Florida (where she now resides) for aggressive assault with a weapon, no intent to kill, in a 2005 Florida incident. In New Jersey she got three years probation for a crime we’ve not yet determined. Then there were Bohner’s landlord issues in New York City. After two civil filings from a building management company in late 2005 and early 2006, Bohner was forcibly evicted in May 2006, according to a public records search. Despite repeated attempts, we were not able to elicit any quote or rebuttal from Bohner on her project or background. On her website, Bohner writes about turning her life around with help from a Buddhist monastery in Thailand, where she worked, and from a popular Los Angeles yoga instructor, Keith Fox. Schmidt has good reason to hope that turnaround sticks: On Bohner’s site, the former business journalist writes repeatedly about the men in her life; it’s not hard to imagine Bohner burning an ex who falls out of her good graces. In addition to Schmidt, Bohner’s dated author Michael Lewis (to whom she was briefly married) and Lazard executive Steve Langman. Among the lovers on the Recovery Girl site is someone code-named Dr. Strangelove, who is often in Los Angeles. “Dr.” Eric Schmidt holds a Ph.D. as well as a home in Santa Barbara County. Dr. Strangelove and Eric Schmidt are one in the same, as the first of several excerpts below makes clear. During a trip to the U.S. Virgin Islands (emphasis added): I haven’t thought about Dr. Strangelove in such a long time-I try to sweep all of that data completely under the Persian carpet. That’s a lie. I think about him every so often in these fleeting cinematic flashes…I have completely stopped sleeping. My friend Jason is so worried about it that he confiscates my Blackberry… I’ve been sleeping with my Blackberry just in case Strangelove might send an e-mail. If I was really smart I ditch the Blackberry for the iPhone he gave me – the prototype version . But I have yet to arrive. Stephen Jobs is not St. Stephen. He’s just a stoned Jesuit priest lost in his garden . Strangelove still has his stranglehold on me and nothing is new under the sun. Later in the same post: The dream is always the same… strolling through winding paths at a government insane asylum in northern Massachusetts.I’ve been committed-against my will. It is Strangelove, my genuinely caring, concerned boyfriend . He has convinced me, or, he has convinced me that I’ve convinced him, that I am suicidal. The dream always begins with me walking the grounds of the campus. I look for the cafeterias with the free food. I can’t find the line for the free bus back to Santa Monica. I keep pulling on the locked doors. At the Buddhist temple in Thailand : How did I get here? There was the phone call. There was the betrayal. Dr. Strangelove had lied about his involvement in it all . And then there were a couple of conversations that followed. And all I remember feeling was that I had to get out of L.A. After detox in South Florida : You see I wasn’t going to go back to Los Angeles. That part was clear. The L.A . experiment hadn’t worked. Game over. Case closed. The work thing had ended when I went to the monastery in Thailand. And the relationship was officially over; Dr. Strangelove was dead . Next chapter. We’ll certainly be reading Bohner’s future installments closely. And we’re sure Schmidt will, too.

Read more here:
The Google CEO and His Mistress: The Tell-All Blog

The Family Guy vs. Sarah Palin Saga: Offensively Predictable, Entirely Played Out

The definitive article on the battle that erupted between Family Guy and Sarah Palin has been written: it’s an A1 NYT feature , it’s comprehensive, and with any luck, finally puts this stupid, boring, predictable saga out of sight forever. In the event that you can’t understand why a cartoon on Fox would be embroiled in a highly quotable media brouhaha with a former vice-presidential candidate, all you have to know is that it’s Family Guy and Sarah Palin. But if you need more background, basically: Family Guy airs episode starring character with Down’s Syndrome voiced by actress with Down’s Syndrome. Vague allusion/”joke” is made about Sarah Palin as character with Down’s Syndrome notes that her mother used to be the governor of Alaska, har har. Palin, who has child with Down’s Syndrome, gets angry, gets on Facebook, and writes about how hurt she is, as former Vice-Presidential candidates are wont to do. So! In comes New York Times ArtsBeat writer Dave Itzkoff, recapping the entire thing , with quotes from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, Sarah Palin, Palin’s daughter Bristol, the Family Guy actress in question, and the executive director of the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles, who helped get said actress cast. Naturally, the actress (Andrea Fay Friedman) was delighted to be a part of all of this. In an email (that the New York Times apparently saved in full for this here definitive roundup) Friedman notes: “I guess former Governor Palin does not have a sense of humor.” She added that in her family, “we think laughing is good,” and that she was raised by her parents “to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.” Ms. Friedman continued, “My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.” Well, basically, yes. Even more astute is the observation from said advocate: Gail Williamson, executive director of the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles, which, among other services, assists films and television series in casting actors with the disability, and helped Ms. Friedman get hired by “Family Guy,” said it did not matter whether she thought the episode was funny. “Within ‘Family Guy,’ the character was fully included, well-rounded, dynamic, not dealing with stereotypical Down syndrome issues,” Ms. Williamson said. She added: “Am I a fan of that kind of humor? Eh. It’s beside the point.” Also correct! The ends here aren’t necessarily bad. Someone got an acting gig, and someone pushed a unarguably “good” cause (equality) forward. There are worse results, and naturally, Friedman and Williamson are happy. Palin and MacFarlane, however, come out of this looking worse for the wear. Just for a moment, let’s consider Seth MacFarlane telling the New York Times that he was proud of what he did, noting that the character’s Down Syndrome being played as a secondary element was essentially the point. Seth MacFarlane’s in the TV business, and he didn’t do this to advocate a cause. There’s an inherent shock factor in having a character with Down’s Syndrome make a joke about Sarah Palin, who has a kid with Down’s Syndrome. He took an audience by the eyeballs, and exploited a willing actress with Down’s Syndrome to do it. And equality, indeed: What working, career actresses trying to make a living—Down’s Syndrome or not—can you think of that would turn down a gig as high profile as Family Guy ? None of ’em, and this one, like the rest, was more than willing to cash a paycheck. Can’t blame her. On the other side, Sarah Palin has again and again fed into being baited by irreverent people making irreverent jokes at her family’s expense. If you have a very large platform, and you say something that can even remotely be perceived as mildly controversial by Palin, it’s pretty much a given that she’s going to mic up and talk about this, as opposed to just writing guys like David Letterman and Seth MacFarlane off (just like the rest of the people they take on manage to do). She used the moment to step up on a platform and advocate a separate side of the same cause, but moreover, herself as a voice in “the conversation” about “the controversy.” Like clockwork: 1. Seth MacFarlane makes “controversial” episode of thing meant to entertain with Sarah Palin joke. 2. Sarah Palin joke elicits Sarah Palin reaction on internet and TV. 3. Sarah Palin reaction elicits Seth MacFarlane reaction. 4. Separate reactions of Sarah Palin and Seth McFarlane are yielded by “controversy,” producing more “controversy.” 5. More “controversy” yields NYT story. 6. Family Guy gets press, Sarah Palin gets soapbox, Fox gets viewers for Palin’s argument on Fox News and for Family Guy ‘s ratings, worthy cause gets talked about more. Everybody “wins.” But mostly Dave Itzkoff , because he got more money than I did to write about this. Kind of related: if Robot Chicken made this joke, it’d (A) be funnier and (B) wouldn’t be a story.

Originally posted here:
The Family Guy vs. Sarah Palin Saga: Offensively Predictable, Entirely Played Out

6 Things to Do If You Hate New York Instead of Anthrax Mailings

2001’s Anthrax mailer, Dr. Bruce Ivins, killed five people and then himself. The FBI’s closing the case file on him today. Interestingly, the guy hated New York . Sometimes, it sucks! But there are ways around this problem. 6. Stop taking the subway. Self-explanatory, but in the event that you do derive some pleasure out of being transported by a never-timely rat-infested sweatbox staffed by people so angry you have to communicate with them in their native grumbles in order to negotiate the kind of situation that would require you to talk to them—like an unannounced service change, or your MetroCard not working, or some kind of emergency they should be attending to—which is often, go right ahead. But this is a nice place to walk. You should try walking, sometime. 5. Stop grocery shopping. Grocery shopping in this town is the goddamn worst . Whole Foods is essentially the sixth circle of the Inferno. The Park Slope Co-Op is basically an oppressive Communist hierarchy of people who will make you feel bad for eating everything but AssOats and Dayboat Bananas and Dirt-Strewn Organic Free-Trade Hormone-Free Tomatillos. Trader Joe’s teases you with really great looking food that’s cheap but as it turns out mostly tastes like shit. Also, more lines. Gristedes or Grosstedes or whatever you call it, it’s an exercise in the restraint of your gag reflex, because they all smell like someone just barfed an entire bender of Pineapple Rum all over the front door. Same with Key Foods, because they’re basically the same, but Key Foods is just out of reach of where you live, making schlepping your groceries a giant pain in the ass. And Fresh Direct is cool if you enjoy the routine of having to break down the 40 cardboard boxes that were required to deliver you a bottle of seltzer and a T-Bone you’re not going to cook anyway. Just eat out. All the time. For every meal. Life will get better. 4. Stop reading the newspaper. If you have any common sense about you, the Sunday Styles routinely does bad things to your blood pressure, and you know, Thomas L. Friedman and Maureen Dowd and all the other absurd shit at the New York Times . The New York Post is meant to make you angry no matter who you are, and the New York Daily Snooze is just kind of there . The Wall Street Journal’s now owned by Rupert Murdoch so you might as well just read the New York Post from five feet away and save yourself like what a buck? Whatever. And unless you already read The New York Observer you’ll probably find something mean to say about it, starting with it’s pink hue. 3. Avoid our sports teams. Ivins actually expressed his hatred for the Yankees in writing. Hating the Yankees is no reason to go postal, because everyone else in America hates the Yankees without freaking the fuck out, no? That said, New York’s sports teams are the absolute worst. The Mets are patently depressing. The Yankees have the highest payroll in baseball, finally win their first championship in ten years, and then let their MVP get snapped up by the Angels. Also, they’re owned by the Steinbrenners, who are assholes. Also, A-Rod thinks he’s a centaur . The Knicks aren’t going to not suck for another five years, at least, and also, they’re owned by Jimmy Dolan, who’s an asshole. Our hockey teams might be good but nobody really cares about hockey enough to know if this is true or not. The Jets and the Giants are kinda okay but you have to go to New Jersey to see them play, but nobody wants a stadium in Manhattan, with good reason. But also, Jets fans are total goons . You’re probably just better foregoing professional sports altogether in this town. 2. Sell out. This is a pretty decent place to live no matter what, because everything’s pretty neat and we have some pretty neat stuff, but you know what makes New York even better? Money. Lots of money. Money is awesome in this town. You know what’s cool? An apartment that’s kinda close to Manhattan that isn’t a shoebox and doesn’t try to routinely kill you via electric fire or rodents serving as inspirations for supporting roles in Korean monster movies. You know what’s cooler? A townhouse in the West Village that’s so whimsical if you look at it too long your face will collapse. Hate the press? Just buy a newspaper; they’re basically all for sale right now on the cheap, anyway. Money solves lots of problems, and it solves a lot more problems in New York than anywhere else, because this city is basically nothing but problems. 1. Fuckoff. If you hate it so much here, why don’t you just move? Move to Berlin! Lots of ex-pats still think Berlin is great. Or find the next Berlin! Or go to LA! Or Jersey! You can find yourself somewhere. But the last thing New Yorkers need are people who constantly complain about how much this city sucks. Because we have enough shit to deal with, thanks.

Here is the original post:
6 Things to Do If You Hate New York Instead of Anthrax Mailings