The NFL playoffs get underway this weekend, with four Divisional Round matchups across the AFC and the NFC. Which Wild Card teams might pull an upset? Forget listening to Vegas or ESPN experts. Over the next few days, THG will breakdown each game, giving readers the inside scoop on what’s what really important, along with which team has the edge in each showdown… 1. STARTING QUARTERBACK … Steelers: Accused rapist Ben Roethlisberger Broncos: Self-proclaimed virgin and man of God, Tim Tebow Edge: Broncos 2. FAMOUS FANS … Steelers: January Jones, Seth Meyers, Jake Gyllenhaal, Bishop Thomas Tobin of the Diocese of Providence, Bret Michaels, Verne Troyer Broncos: Scott Porter, Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Jesus Christ ( rumored ), Patrick Warburton (Puddy from Seinfeld) Edge: Steelers 3. CELEBRITY OWNERSHIP CONNECTION … Steelers: Rooney Mara, great-granddaughter of founder Art Rooney, Sr. Broncos: Homer Simpson, one-time owner Edge: Tie 4. LOCAL DELICACY … Steelers: Pierogies Broncos: Omelettes Edge: Broncos 5. TEAM RUSHING YARDS PER GAME … Steelers: 118.9 (14th in NFL) Broncos: 164.5 (1st in NFL) Edge: Broncos 6. WELL-KNOWN EX-PLAYERS … Steelers: Najeh Davenport, arrested in 2002 for defecating in an ex-girlfriend’s laundry basket; Terry Bradshaw, irritating Fox analyst Broncos: John Elway, two-time Super Bowl champion; Tom Jackson, informative ESPN analyst Edge: Broncos 7. TOTAL DEFENSE (Yards Per Game) … Steelers: 271.8 (1st in NFL) Broncos: 357.8 (20th in NFL) Edge: Steelers 8. IMPORTANT INJURY … Steelers: Rashard Mendenhall, torn ACL Broncos: The wheels on the Tebow bandwagon Edge: Tie 9. BEST WIDE RECEIVER … Steelers: Mike Wallace Broncos: Eric Decker Edge: Steelers 10. NUMBER OF EX-KARDASHIAN BOYFRIENDS ON ROSTER … Steelers: Zero Broncos: Zero Edge: Tie THE VERDICT : As close as it gets, but the Broncos take it by a final count of 4-3-3. The Steelers may be a 9-point favorite, but we wouldn’t bet against these Tale of the Tape results if we were you. Or Jesus. WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN THE MATCHUP?
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Tale of the NFL Playoff Tape: Denver Broncos vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
