: All right, you lazy tubs of lard- winter’s over, so it’s time to get your butt up off the couch, put down that pizza, pack away those sweatsuits, and get in shape!… Just kidding. Mr. Skin doesn’t care if you spend the whole year ’round in your sweats, eating pizza. What Mr. Skin wants to help you with is your wrist strength. No matter how many times a day you exercise your left (or right, we’re not here to judge) hand, it’s important to keep that jerkin’ wrist toned and limber, because you never know when Megan Fox ‘s bikini top is going to fall off, and when that happens, you want to be ready. To help you keep in fine fapping form, every week Skin Central is going to bring you some of the sweatiest, most pelvic thrust-filled workout tapes of all time to assist in your one-handed maintenance routine. Because there’s something unparalleled about a woman in a leotard stretching….jumping…sweating…bouncing…oh, the sweet, sweet bouncing… We’re kicking off our series with a “workout tape” from the epitome of the bleach-blonde 80’s scream queen, Linnea Quigley. We say “workout tape” in quotations because at no point during this video does Linnea actually provide instruction on physical fitness. She does, however, provide ample opportunities to ogle her fit physique. Let’s begin, shall we? Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout opens with a shower scene, which is how you know it’s going to be good. After some nice shots of her soapy boobs and butt, Linnea exercises those famous lungs when she realizes the camera’s been on her the entire time! But no matter, Linnea is a professional. On to her exercising in front of the fire in a studded leather bra and fishnets, which, she admits is not the most practical exercise outfit, but “would you want to watch me work out in a baggy sweatsuit?” Good point, Linnea. Now let’s get another top-down cleavage shot. Now that we’re all warmed up, we go for a run, Linnea’s favorite: “There’s nothing I love more than going for a run in the woods, past an old cemetery…alone,” she quips. As you might expect, this leads to our heroine being surrounded by flesh-hungry zombies, then, as you might not expect, Linnea leading an exercise routine with the aerobicizing dead: Moral of this story: zombies are stupid. Their hearts aren’t even beating, so cardio won’t do them any good. Far less stupid is whoever cooked up the last segment in our exercise regimen of terror: a slumber party massacre complete with Linnea and friends doing group stretches clad in sexy lingerie. Here are enough closeups of gyrating crotches clad in silk and lace to keep Cinemax in business for a year! If your heart rate hasn’t increased yet, then this last clip will really get your blood pumping: Whew. We’re exhausted- and sticky. If you’re ready for more, check out the breast of Linnea Quigley ‘s nude oevure on MrSkin.com, and join us next week for another hot, sweaty One-Handed Workout on the Mr. Skin blog , where the abs aren’t the only thing that’s rock hard!
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One-Handed Workout: Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout
