Tag Archives: untoned

Ashley Greene on a Trapeze of the Day

A week ago – Ashley Greene posted these picture of her on a trapeze, and apparently, the world was able to go on. I know, surprising, you’d think she’d have the star power to shut down the internet, but only 9,000 people liked the shit, I guess making her pretty obsolete…which I guess is a life lesson to all of you girls aspiring to whore yourself into fame…sure a bit part on a huge franchise is good for your bank account, and a fake relationship where you pretend to be a virgin with a Jonas brother is a good way to maintain that audience…you know keep them engaged…but the second it is all over…it is over…because people have no attention span, fame is fleeting, and this bitch isn’t talent and doesn’t matter. She just knows how to strategically fuck, despite her “Promise Ring” she pretended to once have…when the only promise she made was to take it on the face if she got the part… If you want to see Ashley Greene Paid By Target to Shop at Target…it’s a fetish to at least one person CLICK HERE

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Ashley Greene on a Trapeze of the Day

Eva Herzigova in a One Piece of the Day

Eva Herzigova is in a one piece…I would image you’d care about this if you had any fucking ideal who Eva Herzigova is…and I feel like you probably do, but I don’t and I’ve been writing the site for 10 years, which means I started when she was probably in her prime, and I still don’t know who the fuck she is…sooooooooo she’s in a one piece…this is not news, but the news is depressing. I don’t need to hear about 2000 people dying of Ebola in some African country that I know will spread to the rest of the world – killing us all off, a fear of mine when I was younger and a little more hopeful in humanity, but now something I am ready to see happen….or maybe the 1500 Christians killed in Iraq, the Isreal crisis, the Libya criss…shit’s fucking doomed…but Eva Herzigova can get us through this in her bikini…she’s a modern day superhero…someone give her the nobel peace prize like she was Nelson Mandela. To See The Rest of the Pics Click Here

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Eva Herzigova in a One Piece of the Day

Maryna Linchuk in Lingerie of the Day

Maryna Linchuk reminds me that although I love Lingerie models, and think they are great for a lot of reasons, like being nice to look at, but more importantly, making regular girls feel like shit about themselves, and when they feel like shit about themselves, I get to be the hero, by telling them their untoned fat stomach is sexy and that those models are just freaks of nature, some even 6 foot tall monsters pushing 150 pounds that look good in pictures half naked, but who in person are actually double the size…angles, lighting, make-up, photoshop…you know making myself out to be a sensitive hero, ready to pounce on them the second they feel comfortable enough to let me get them naked… But I hate lingerie photoshoots – they fucking suck…they have no personality and here’s the proof.

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Maryna Linchuk in Lingerie of the Day