Tag Archives: wetting-the-bed

‘2012’ Checklist: 18 Things You’ll Need if the Movie Got Doomsday Right

Depending on your conspiracy theory of choice, the world may end 11 months and change from now, give or take a few days. And just in case all of those qualified real scientists are wrong about the 2012 doomsday being complete hooey, we’ve got filmmaker Roland Emmerich ’s 2009 opus 2012 on hand to guide us for the potential cataclysm ahead. So grab a notepad and jot down the 18 or so essentials you’ll need to start stockpiling if you’re going to be ready to face down ultimate destruction, John Cusack -style. The fictional 2012 opens as the Earth’s core is being heated by a freak solar flare, which accelerates a shifting of the Earth’s crust. The resulting shift triggers earthquakes and tsunamis across the globe, leaving humanity’s only hope in a series of massive arks constructed to hold survivors… just not everyone. But them’s the breaks. Look, none of us know if we’ll make it onto greedy Oliver Platt’s ginormous boat, so it’s best to come prepared. 1. Emergency kit with the essentials – water, non-perishables, batteries, a radio, perhaps a few magazines for light reading 2. Early investments in steel and titanium interests 3. Decent relationships with your baby mama/daddy 4. A Mayan calendar 5. Disaster insurance 6. Beer 7. A limo with tires with good traction for outrunning earthquakes, family in tow 8. Advanced degree(s) in geology, astrophysics, or international relations 9. Mace for keeping the weirdo pirate radio jock you meet in the woods at arm’s length 10. A private airplane to fly your family to China as America crumbles into the sea 11. Flying lessons 12. Small fortune for buying your way onto life-saving arks at one billion euros a ticket, or 13. High level government clearance assuring privilege of being saved (also works in case of Contagion ) 14. Mountaintop real estate in Africa 15. A houseboat 16. Camping gear 17. A submarine or two 18. Swimming lessons, if all else fails Your mileage may vary with the above, but remember what’s really important in times of crisis as we wait to see if Emmerich was the mystical sage I’d like to think of him as: Family. And not wetting the bed. And also looking cool while evading lava and earthquakes and tsunamis. Let’s circle back on 12/21/12 and see where we’re at. Like the Boy Scouts say, be prepared…

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‘2012’ Checklist: 18 Things You’ll Need if the Movie Got Doomsday Right

Sextra: He Wants a Golden Shower?

Dear Bossip, My boyfriend for over a year is starting to weird me out. When we first started dating, he would ‘jokingly ask me if I would perform certain acts on him, particularly peeing on him. I thought my disgusted look and answer were sufficient enough for him and he drop it. Fast forward a year and things are going well. To say he is the most attentive guy I’ve dated would be an understatement. Although we both are MBA students, and he works full time, we always have a weekly date to mingle and unwind with one another. However he started bringing up his fetish of me peeing on him again, all joking aside. His relentlessness is starting to wear me down. Its gotten to the point where I don’t want to be around him and started backing out our weekly date. Beside the peeing request he is the best guy I have ever dated, attentive and generous. I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t help being grossed out. Am I being to sensitive? Should I just satisfy his fetish? Or will it never work out… Please advise!!!! Happy Saturday and thank you for writing in and sharing your story! So, your man is requesting that you perform a sexual act that make you uncomfortable? You’re grossed out by it and would rather not talk about it, let alone participate. Okay, that’s respectable and understood and, by all means, you should not do anything that you’re uncomfortable with … ever! However, it shouldn’t be a deal breaker if he’s “the best guy you’ve ever dated!” If you’re completely closed to the idea and don’t even want to flirt with possibility then tell him that! Let him know that you’re not willing to do anything of or pertaining to urinating on him for sexual satisfaction, period. Be firm about it and don’t waver. If he’s a stand-up guy, he won’t press the issue. But let’s play the devil’s advocate for a moment, shall we? Your line of questioning would lead one to believe that you may be open to the idea … just a little bit. “Am I being too sensitive?” and “should I just satisfy the fetish?” Well, lovely, as the old saying goes: “It’s better to peed off than peed on! So, him being on the receiving end of such an act doesn’t put you in the line of fire so, why not? Perhaps, the worst part of this scenario is the clean up so make sure you do it at his place should you decide to do this. Another thing to think about is this, if you do pee on your man, you could end up being appalled by any request that follows! The possibility exists that his fetish may be more gross than you think! He may just ask you to defecate on him! And while it would come as a shock, you would have no reason to be surprised. It is unsettling to think that you’re, literally, wetting the bed intentionally when we know that excrement belongs in the toilet only, but different people are turned on my different things. And, from the sound of it, it seems as though he wants to be owned or controlled in some way so maybe you could suggest a little handcuffs and blindfold play to see if being in a submissive state is what turns him on. You can play with the idea without peeing on him, Ma! Maybe he’s got “peeing” confused with some of the extreme “squirters” in porn films so that’s something to consider and ask about also! In your mind it’s “gross” but in his, it’s sexy so ask all the questions you need answers to before you fulfill or completely shut down his fantasy. He will appreciate you asking even if you decline! Ask away, sis! Ask away and good luck to you! What are your thoughts Bossip fam? Please share them below! Have a safe and wonderful weekend and remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, questions and feedback to loveandrelationships@bossip.com !

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Sextra: He Wants a Golden Shower?