Tag Archives: before-totally

Welcome Back Thora Birch of the Day

Thora Birch is the mid 30s actress you’v enever heard of….because she hasn’t done anything in the last 10 years…but if you’re an old pervert, or a hipster obsessed with the 90s, dressing like you’re on the fucking Cosby show, you’ll remember her as the child star in movies like Hocus Pocus and some other shit…. Then she hit puberty and became the star of a lot of independent films, that brought new life to Hollywood, before totally being back burnered for blockbuster, actor driven garbage we have today… So she was the tits you didn’t necessarily want to fuck in America Beauty because she wasn’t the alien headed American Pie chick…or the tits you didn’t necessarily want to fuck in Ghost World because she wasn’t Scarlett Johansson…you know the awkward other girl…with the tits… Well, I guess she’s making a comeback, because why else would she be in this magazine, and really the only picture worth looking at is the one in the granny panty diaper…spread legged looking awkard and doughy…with some tit… Take it in, welcome her back…via masturbation like she was still that 13 year old girl you had a crush on in that Hocus Pocus porn…because you’re weird… The post Welcome Back Thora Birch of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Welcome Back Thora Birch of the Day

Jessica Alba Gagged in Some Movie of the Day

I heard Alba and Lohan both have nude scenes in Machete, which makes sense, because why else would you bring two relatively recently desired pussy back from the grave, dust them off, maybe spray a little perfume on them after soaking them in a warm tub to loosen up a bit, before totally raping them, for every eyeball that wants to see Lohan and Alba naked for old times sake, it’s relatively obvious marketing, but still genius that it got pulled off. I also walked into a small town sex shop this weekend, it happened to smell like really dirty pussy, there was no one working, but there was noise coming from the basement door that was left open, the shelves were filled with bondage gear, from harnesses to whips to gags to restraints and I like to think I was playing a pivotal role in the man who owns and works the shops fantasies…you know the store owner who inserts foreign objects inside bitches, while someone is upstairs browsing in their store….. Either way, bondage is big, throat fucking porn bigger….Alba gagged not so interesting, but what the fuck, anything that involves her being taken down a notch and demeaned, is porn to me.

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Jessica Alba Gagged in Some Movie of the Day