Tag Archives: doomed-because

Tara Reid is in a Bikini in Ibiza of the Day

Tara Reid is an angel sent from heaven, and by heaven I mean some perpetual Spring Break in the sky, that is always eternal, and filled with fat necked dudes and fake titty bitches, like a Vegas pool party, where all walks of life, usually horrible places, come to live out their celebrity fantasies like they were J.Lo…by the pool, listening to bad music, wearing shitty bikinis, looking’ awesome with their ravaged fake lip plastic surgery…all wasted as fuck looking for rich dudes to fuck because rich dudes have bottles for them to drink and fun hotel rooms to get smashed in… I mean I don’t think it’s a horrible life, it’s better than any movie she’s been in, even though she may or may be a little old for this, but sometimes it doesn’t take throwing away your youth, having kids who rob your life to make you the 60 year old in the Foam party rocking’ a Glowstick to Daft Punk…sometimes you can just never bow down from the college days… I still think she looks good in a bikini, but in my defence, I’ve had sex with sandwich meat before…and it wasn’t even fresh.

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Tara Reid is in a Bikini in Ibiza of the Day

Helen Flanagan’s Topless Hustle of the Day

Helen Flanagan is the future…I am not sure what that even means or if it is a reference point to us all being doomed because girls are so hung-up on fame and male attention, and not even the typical girls you’d assume would be hung up with male attention, you know the ones with daddy issues…but rather every fucking girl with a cell phone taking camera phone pics for guys to give them likes…and sometimes herpes…if they are lucky enough to make the ill decision of going to meet their biggest fans…because everyone wants to be Famous for nothing, you know, appreciated for their tits, where all they need to do is bow down and out of a traditional TV role level of fame and say to the world “Hey look at me, I’ve got tits”…it’s kinda insane, but it makes for dumb bitches and dumb bitches make for decent blow jobs, but in then again, I’ve never had a blow job I didn’t like, even a shitty blow job is good, so being a vapid cunt who only cares about getting naked on the internet, isn’t a pre-requisite, it just makes jerking off to them easier…and here’s a topless pic I guess this nobody is proud of, probably not as proud as her parents when she said “I’m quitting my well paying TV gig on a national Soap to take off my shirt”…I mean assuming she’s got Parents… It’s the Glamour model generation and I like it.

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Helen Flanagan’s Topless Hustle of the Day