2012’s lowest-grossing film has been revealed, and people, this one kind of hurts. [ Related: Domestic Box Office Rises In Dollars And Audiences In 2012 ] The Christian Slater horror film Playback gathered an astonishing $264.00 – yes, that’s two hundred and sixty four – in theaters. Well, theater, to be exact; it only showed for one week in a single cinema. The figure gives Playback the honor as 2012’s lowest grossing film of the year. It earned $252.00 on opening night and just 12 dollars more during the following week, after which it was pulled. It has since made its way to VOD via Netflix and Amazon Prime. That has got to hurt, but when your career includes Gleaming the Cube and Hard Rain , at least you’re probably prepared for the emotional toll. Still, it makes me wince, even 20 years later, every time I’m reminded that I once actually liked Christian Slater movies. At least Heathers and True Romance still hold up*! As 2012 comes to a depressingly apocalypse-free conclusion, it’s not surprising that we’re seeing the last, painful lists of ignobility slipping out at the last minute. What better way to prepare ourselves for the new year than by embracing obstacles head on. If yesterday’s news of the most pirated movies proves that a bumper crop (cash-wise) for Hollywood doesn’t mean there still isn’t a problem with pilfered films, today’s offers unexpected confirmation that F. Scott Fitzgerald might have been right about there not being any second acts in American lives. At least for formerly successful actors. So at least we can all take comfort that our English teachers may have been onto something after all. * Well, True Romance, at least.
You can have your Top 10 lists stuffed with cold and corny prestige pics and all those “respectable” “films” headed for Oscar gold, but when I think back on 2012 I remember the movies that wrapped themselves around my heart and brain like a warm blanket made of light and sound and kick-ass jammin’ electric guitars and made me feel excited to be alive, dammit ! (I can also pinpoint with a wistful pang the precise moment when Tyler Perry broke my heart. Still love you, TP.) These are the films, big and small, ambitious and soulful, heart-rending and bone-crunching, about lovers, fighters, time-travelers, masters, closet-dwellers, hermaphrodite basketball players and friends (forever) that made my year at the movies. Join me in celebrating these magical movie moments and let’s hope 2013 delivers even more awesomeness. 10. Moonrise Kingdom Look, I’m not a robot. Wes Anderson ’s nostalgic dip into childhood love pitched its twee kid romance tent in my heart and has stayed there all through the summer, fall, and winter. “What kind of bird are YOU?” 9. Looper That perfect song at the end of Rian Johnson ’s contemplative pic about selflessness and love disguised as a sci-fi time travel movie kills me every time. Also (SEMI SPOILER) the Rainmaker shot of Garret Dillahunt at the end is one of the most perversely beautiful images I’ve seen all year. 8. The Final Member at Fantastic Fest Three men share a penis obsession that anchors this deftly executed, wry and surprisingly poignant documentary — but the delicate, deep-fried veal testicle served up mid-movie by the demented folks at Fantastic Fest made for a truly inspired moviegoing experience. (It tasted… squishy.) Next time I’ll probably pass on the snacks. 7. Pitch Perfect A movie pretty much made for me . Bonus points for bringing Blackstreet back. Side note: I once totally attempted a riff-off in real life, and that shit is hard . 6. The Raid Another movie pretty much made for me . Neck-on-doorway = action kill of the year. 5. The Master Joaquin Phoenix ’s feral turn as the scary, mesmerizing alternate-universe Ed Grimley fever dream demon of a man exploded for me the moment he raged against that prison cell toilet and I realized I was watching something rare, so elementally beyond performance, that I actually felt bad. For the toilet. 4. Holy Motors Speaking of performance: Nothing this year blew my mind as wholly as Leos Carax’s wonderfully whimsical film about film, art, and the incredible range of emotion within Denis Lavant’s play-doh landscape of a face. Not even… 3. Miami Connection To know the magical alchemy of tae kwon do, friendship, biker ninjas, and ‘80s rock ‘n’ roll that is Miami Connection is to love it. After my third viewing, Grand Master Y. K. Kim told me my spirit animal was a tiger. Take that, stupid cocaine! 2. Trapped in the Closet Forever 2012 was the year that R. Kelly answered everyone’s prayers and promised that Trapped in the Closet will never, ever, ever end . Since I had the honor of watching Chapters 1-22 (i.e. the first saga i.e. the best of the urban hip-hopera dramarama) screened theatrically, and since it was one of the most transcendent evenings I’ve spent listening to Kells in the dark with a bunch of strangers in my entire life, and since screw you guys this is my list, it makes my Top 10. I mean, Chuck was there for goodness sake, and even if he didn’t explain what The Package is he spent the night belting out all of his lines from the aisles. That is, when he wasn’t dancing and singing along with the rest of us. What I’m trying to say is, Trapped in the Closet is magic. It’s R. Kelly’s Cloud Atlas AND his The Klumps all at once. 1. Boys Will Be Boys How do I do justice to this Kickstarter project in words? I can’t. Suffice to say the short film about “about a Bisexual Down Low NCAA Basketball Player, who impregnates his secret Gay Friend, a Rare Reproducing Hermaphrodite” has an actually ballsy if f***ing bizarre premise and is the single best internet movie discovery of the year that nobody discovered, and in failing to Kickstart it we’ve only failed ourselves. Eternal thanks to @JimJarmuschHair and @Nickrob for championing the best video of 2012. Consider it a gift to Homo Sapiens . Wind down 2012 with more Top 10 lists and leave your favorite films of the year in the comments below! Amy Nicholson’s / Top 10 of 2012 / Written In Haiku The Masters: Movieline Critic Alison Willmore’s Top 10 Films of 2012 They Turn Us On, Dammit! Movieline Critic Alison Willmore’s Top 10 Overlooked Gems of 2012 Follow Jen Yamato on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
2012 was a ho-hum year for “serious” cinema. As proof, the Oscar race has narrowed to films like the chipper Argo and dreary Zero Dark Thirty — a chase so routine that the alternative is a Steven Spielberg period piece as wholesome and agreeable as enriched bread. But it was also a banner year for the films that we’ll still want to watch in 2022: Ambitious over-reachers ( Cloud Atlas , The Master , Les Miserables ), loony passion projects ( Killer Joe , Magic Mike , The Paperboy ), and perfect popcorn flicks ( Step Up 4 , The Expendables 2 , Premium Rush ). That last category is frequently left off top ten lists, but it deserves our applause. When studios get tired of risking $250 million on a single blockbuster (and audiences get tired of paying $14 just to keep up with water cooler conversation), mid-priced modest hits like Looper will be our collective salvation — and help build the next generation of filmmakers and stars. The films that made my Top Ten did so because they were bold, memorable and flawless (or at least two of the three). But of course, if critics can judge art, we should take our own creative risks. And so I’ve written my remarks in haiku. 1) DJANGO UNCHAINED Quentin ‘s bold bloodbath An unflinching masterpiece Sam Jackson kills it 2) LOOPER Two actors, one nose In a cornfield dodging fate But can it be done? 3) ANNA KARENINA Old, cold tragedy Blazes with heat and magic Goes ignored, alas 4) 21 JUMP STREET Is our kids learning? Channing Tatum ‘s agent is Let Sir Abs crack jokes 5) COMPLIANCE At minimum wage, A maximum need to please Few brave souls say no 6) PITCH PERFECT Queen Rebel Wilson Bow down before her glory Or sing if you must 7) HOLY MOTORS A quick change artist Speeds through ten lives not his own Who is he? Who cares 8) THE GREY Liam punched a wolf But what mattered was the gloom Snow and fate and death 9) SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS More like ten psychos Softened by dogs and bunnies But still murderous 10) THE PAPERBOY Sweaty, sexy Efron Plus a pervy director Give Kidman a prize Disagree with my picks? Say so in verse. Amy Nicholson is a critic, playwright and editor. Her interests include hot dogs, standard poodles, Bruce Willis, and comedies about the utter futility of existence. Follow her on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter .
It’s that time, folks! Kick off the end-of-year deluge of Top 10 lists with the best films of the year, as selected by Cahiers du Cinema . Because why bother waiting for the rest of 2012’s Oscar hopefuls to screen when you’ve already had your mind blown by Leos Carax’s wondrously WTF Holy Motors ? Cahiers du Cinema ‘s Top 10 of 2012 (via MUBI / TOFilmReview ): 1. Holy Motors (Leos Carax) 2. Cosmopolis (David Cronenberg) 3. Twixt (Francis Ford Coppola) 4. 4:44 Last Day On Earth (Abel Ferrara) 4. In Another Country (Hong Sang-Soo) 4. Take Shelter (Jeff Nichols) 7. Go Go Tales (Abel Ferrara) 8. Tabu (Miguel Gomes) 8. Faust (Alexadre Sokourov) 10. Keep The Lights On (Ira Sachs) Of the honorees on the arthouse-centric list, Carax’s Holy Motors , a transfixing ode to cinema and performance anchored by Denis Lavant’s lead performance, should be the one to pop up elsewhere most frequently this season on critics’ lists. Abel Ferrara makes the list twice — not too shabby considering that both 4:44 Last Day On Earth and Go Go Tales earned mixed acclaim from critics. And who would’ve thought, four years ago when the first Twilight movie launched him into the teen idol stratosphere, that Robert Pattinson would not only make the Cahiers du Cinema Top 10 but come in with a film in the #2 slot? Looks like teaming up with Cronenberg was RPattz’s best career move , after all. The Google translation of the Cahiers du Cinema December 2012 issue is rough, to say the least, but Stéphane Delorme’s editorial (located online here ) states, among other agendas of the issue (translated from French: “Rather than commenting on Tops, we prefer to dwell on the failings of contemporary cinema copyright”) that the publication’s Top 10 selection “shows that we expect from cinema audacity and heart.” And who can argue with that? Sound off with your thoughts below. [ Cahiers du Cinema / MUBI / TO Film Review via The Playlist ] Follow Jen Yamato on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
