I know most sites are probably talking about the Golden Globes this morning and who won what and who made the best speech and whether Oprah should run for President, but here at Hollywood Tuna, we’re focused on the more important issues: like the fact that one of my favorite hotties, Victoria Justice , did this super-hot photoshoot. I don’t know about you, but me and the Little Tuna think that deserves a standing ovation. Bravo.
I know I rag on all those Insta-wannabes out there pretending to be professional models, but I never really thought about the flipside to that: like the fact that now real supermodels can be amateur Instagram models too, and give us daily bikini updates instead of just having to wait for their latest Victoria’s Secret photoshoots. So here’s some new Elsa Hosk bikini goodness, and now I just feel bad for all the Insta-hotties out there who have to try to compete with this. Yow!
Don’t let this Elle picture fool you. Hailey Baldwin may be getting a couple real gigs these days, but that’s just a side job to her main business: giving us pants fires via social media. And look, I know Hailey really wants to be taken seriously as a real supermodel, but there’s nothing wrong with just being a professional Instagram model. It’s a totally respectable line of work. Sure, it’s not like being a doctor or a lawyer, but coming from a professional T&A blogger, it’s definitely pretty important in my book. Continue reading →
I know sometimes I like to rag on Sophie Simmons , and point out that she’s really only C-list “famous” because her dad is Gene Simmons. But then I remember that things like the fact that long tongues probably run in the family and I run a website that could help her wannabe modeling career, and you know, maybe I was wrong about all of that… Because after these latest shots, I think Sophie’s definitely got a promising future. Or at least, I’d be willing to see what me and the Little Tuna could do to help out. Call me! Continue reading →
I don’t know much about Diana Melison here — well, besides the obvious, like the fact that she’s a walking five-alarm pants fire. But I managed to tear myself away from “researching” her Instagram long enough to learn that the Russian hottie’s also an actress. And that’s great news, because I just came up with the perfect movie idea for her. See, it’s about a Russian model who falls in love with a pasty American blogger, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be the next great Hollywood romance. Like 50 Shades . Only good. Call me! » view all 15 photos
Heidi Klum posted this picture of herself Topless on Instagram…being felt up by some dude. I think this probably breaches on the terms and conditions of Instagram because the seconds you have a dude grabbing your bare tit, you’re walking that thin line of pornogrpahy..I mean it’s one dick pulled out and being jerked off to make it official.. I mean, I don’t think grabbing a bare tit for the internet is that big of a deal, I don’t’ find it hot and really for things to be pornographic in this sexed up world…they have to be real fucking hardcore…but I like the fact that she gets away with this and the rest of the instagram users don’t…because social media is a scam and they all have us brainwashed to be controlled by them…and they use people like Heidi Klum to help them… I am sure if you really analyzed social media..it’d be far scarier than anything else you do in a day…even scarier than the unprotected sex you have with girls you meet off social media.
You guys know that I try to stick to covering just the important stuff (like bikini pictures) and not follow any of that gossip crap, but sometimes I hear something I have to pass on. Like the fact that Sofia Vergara is apparently single now . Huh, I don’t think I even knew she was dating someone. Still, when are these chicks going to realize that dating a poor schlub like me would be infinitely better than some rich dude with options? Anyway, I’d like to officially offer Sofia my condolences, and a shoulder lap to cry on. Call me. Photos: PacificCoastNews Continue reading →
I saw these pictures of Julia Louis Dreyfus for Rolling Stone last week, where she’s naked and sexed up, but I missed the whole storyline of her fucking a clown, which are pretty fucking amazing and disturbing all at the same time, for obvious reasons, like the fact that she’s in her 60s….and naked….I mean Seinfeld was on TV in the 90s and she was in her 40s then, so do the fucking math motherfuckers…coupled with the fact that clowns are creepy and more importantly with the fact that I am getting turned on by the whole thing…but maybe I’m just into Jewish billionaires who went on to make their own 100s of millions of dollars through a joke of a career because daddy’s real estate empire wasn’t satisfying enough for hers….and one family can’t have too much money..but I think it’ got more to do with her public area being waxed down and not looking’ old and beat the fuck up. I like it.
I saw these pictures of Julia Louis Dreyfus for Rolling Stone last week, where she’s naked and sexed up, but I missed the whole storyline of her fucking a clown, which are pretty fucking amazing and disturbing all at the same time, for obvious reasons, like the fact that she’s in her 60s….and naked….I mean Seinfeld was on TV in the 90s and she was in her 40s then, so do the fucking math motherfuckers…coupled with the fact that clowns are creepy and more importantly with the fact that I am getting turned on by the whole thing…but maybe I’m just into Jewish billionaires who went on to make their own 100s of millions of dollars through a joke of a career because daddy’s real estate empire wasn’t satisfying enough for hers….and one family can’t have too much money..but I think it’ got more to do with her public area being waxed down and not looking’ old and beat the fuck up. I like it.