I’ve always been a fan of Amanda Seyfried , even if she keeps those great funbags of hers hidden way too much for my liking. But lucky for us, she’s still willing to bring them out for special occasions, like the premiere of her new movie A Million Ways to Die in the West . Which is kind of ironic, because this is always how I’d pictured myself going out: in a freak motorboating accident with Amanda’s funbags. Fingers crossed. » view all 23 photos Photos: WENN.com
There is very little amazing going on in these pics…I mean really the only amazing thing I see happening here is how willing I am right now to eat Minnie Driver’s asshole for days…when instinctively I should be disgusted by it…I mean she’s not 18-22, her uterus isn’t fresh, but rather slightly used, yet I am still willing to explore the depths of her soul via her labia…I guess because I fuck disgusting things when they come along and usually I fuck them without a condom…as I am a firm believe that not all pussy is created equally, but all pussy deserves to be fucked equally, because otherwise it would have been born a set of testicles…even if it looks like a set of testicles…all deflated and dangling… I guess this is just putting me to the test of how low I would go – which is really low…so low that Minnie Driver is on the higher end of the asses I’d be willing to eat…maybe in the top 1 percent. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
Beyonce is a shape…round….but not in Shape….despite being featured in Shape. I know that is a confusing statement, that I can translate for you, since I wrote it. Beyonce is fat, sloppy, a mom and photoshopped for a magazine called Shape…that is about fitness, and people who are actually in Shape, but I guess they make exceptions when it comes to big A-Lister powerhouses, because it sells copies. Especially when controversial. I hate how she’s trying to be a sex pot, trying to compete with Rihanna who makes her husband more money than god, something we can assume has led to Beyonce stepping up her game, by stripping down her clothes and as much as I generally love that desperation. I’m not digging this, but I’m still willing to try jerking off to it, to challenge my masturbation abilities. It’s not self rape if I cum…but even if I cum, Beyonce is still the fucking devil.
I hate Valentines Day and I hate love…for a lot of reasons……not because I hate romance, I use that as a strategy to get laid because people are idiots..see cuz I like writing love songs….and the next great american love story… I hate Valentines day and love because comes with some much annoying responsibility….unnecessary responsibility…like having to be nice to someone who has trapped you in a prison hell…who you hate all to keep up appearances cuz society wants you to…. Most relationships that last involve ugly people who found each other cuz no one wants them….or people who have just fucking giving up on life… Here’s a compilation of Top 10 ugly couples…which is really the first 10 ugly couples I found…..cuz I didn’t invent this idea…I’m just using on Valentines Day 10 – Those who goth together at the all you can eat buffet every night – stay together…. 9- Those who’s gender can’t be determined -”I’m the guy, no you’re the guy”- stay together… 8- Young love at the handicap institution don’t have many options when it comes to finding someone in the same level of retardation – stay together 7- Once you’ve Shared a Banana with Someone you Know You Can Share your Life with them….. 6- When your passion is nudism and cats…and you find someone into that…you know it is forever 5- When obese, and willing to climb a tree for a fat chick, despite the risk of having a heart attack, for an undeserving fat chick, even if she’s the only girl you’ve had sex with, you know you are connected at the emotional eating… 4 – When you find someone willing to dress like the Wizard of Oz for a picture next to you Real Estate Signs – you know there’s very little they won’t do for you….Love. 3- Even if your love ends in a horrible Chainsaw Massacre thanks to his love of chainsaws so deep he brings them everywhere….until having to defend his chainsaw’s honor for murdering those who don’t understand their love….it still counds as “til death do us part”….even if that death is premature….cuz you married a serial killer freak… 2- Ugly People, Ugly Sweaters, But Still Willing to have a Good Laugh at the shitty hand they were dealt, while showcasing their shitty bodies…laughing at their misery together…is Romance… 1 – Sometimes words can’t describe what you’re feeling but….a picture says all you need….
I guess Christina Milian’s nipple is numb from all that breast feeding…cuz it’s pokin out of her bathing suit….you know since she’s a fucking mom…a title that unlike “slut”, “coke whore”,”barely legal”…..isn’t at all exciting, or erotic….if anything, it is disgusting and the only thing it makes me think of is that she wasn’t showing her nipples in her 20s…when she was supposed to…except to famous rappers who she let cum inside her….but I am easy to please and still willing to look…cuz it really isn’t all that bad…even if it could have been so different.
