Dear Bossip , Well, I’ve been with my husband for five years, but we’ve been married for two year. But, I’ve also been with my lover for two years who is a female. I care for one more than the other. The reason I married my husband is because I thought I was doing the right for our son, knowing how I felt for her. I’ve tried fixing things with my husband. We’ll do good for awhile, but then we’ll be back at square one not getting nothing right. Then, I find myself back with her because things gets done, like family things should be and done with a partner. I just hurt knowing that I grew up with my dad and he showed his girls how a man treats a woman, a real man. I thought that’s what I had and I’m tired of waiting on him to get there, especially knowing that I can get that on the other side. I’ve really tried telling him what’s wrong it but it goes in one ear and out the other. What is a girl to do if she can go to the other side to get what she wants? – Stuck In Turmoil Dear Ms. Stuck In Turmoil , Sigh! You are just trifling. A straight manipulative and deceptive lying “something something.” (Had to hold my tongue) Where’s my holy water? I need to sprinkle it all over you and my computer. You’re not going to taint my fingers and spirit with your evil and spiteful ways. Chile, you knowingly married a man when you truly desire to be with a woman, and then the two years you’ve been married you’ve been cheating on your husband with your girlfriend. WOW! I can’t! Not today. No ma’am. That’s some straight bull-ish. I don’t understand why you would bring this man into your drama, lies, and web of deceit. Why involve someone without giving them the opportunity to make a conscious and knowing decision on their own if they would rather stay or leave? Then you have the gall and nerve to start a family with this man, and now you’ve involved a child who didn’t ask for any of this. But, yet, you want to blame your husband for not being what you need, or fulfilling your desires. WOW! You really do have issues. Then you go on to say that you were raised by a dad who showed his girls how a real man treats a woman, and that you’re tired of waiting on your husband to get there. Uhm, sweetie, how about you be a real woman! It’s not him. It’s you! You have these unrealistic expectations of your husband to fulfill, yet he cannot and will never be able to fulfill what you truly need and desire because you’re GAY! You’re a lesbian playing straight. You’re a woman trapped in denial of who she really is, and because you’re probably afraid of what your family, friends, or whomever will say about you, you keep this charade and this façade up by remaining in a one-way selfish marriage. Then you claim that you’ve talked to your husband about what’s wrong but it goes in one ear and out the other. Hmmm, let’s see. Did you tell him you that you’re cheating? Did you tell him that you’re a lesbian? Did you tell him that in order to fix what’s wrong with your marriage is actually to get a divorce? Has it occurred to you that you lied to him? You manipulated him. You deceived him. You led him to believe that he was marrying a woman who loved him, solely, and monogamous. Now, you tell me who’s really at fault. You tell me if he can really and truly fix what’s wrong in your marriage when it’s clearly you that is the problem. I wish I could come through this computer and knock you upside your bald ass head. I had to stop and laugh because I’m certain you’re walking around with a wife-beater on, some Timbs, and grabbing your crotch looking like Cleo from the movie Set It Off , yet your husband is clueless to all the signs blaring right in front of him. LMBAO! Girl, or sir, you need to be honest and tell your husband the truth. Yes, be woman, or man enough and stop playing these games. You can’t go back and forth with folks playing with their emotions and feelings. That’s how people get murked. Come, say this with me…. “I” “Am” “A” “Lesbian” “And” “I” “Like” “Women” You see how easy that was? You see how if you tell yourself the truth it will set you free? You can’t worry about what others are going to think of you. You can’t focus on what others feel about you. It’s your life, and you deserve to be happy. So, live your life for you, and don’t get caught up in trying to live your life for others. You can’t, won’t, and never will be able to please everyone, so stop trying. It’s time to make yourself happy, and live in your truth. Be the butch lesbian you are! Embrace your inner man. And, if you desire to be with your girlfriend, then go be with her. You said that you, “…find myself back with her because things gets done, like family things should be and done with a partner.” So, what’s the problem? It’s clear and obvious where you want to be and who you want to be with. Your husband is not fulfilling any of your needs. You said you’ve tried fixing things, and they would go well for a while, but then you find yourself back at square one. Uhm, it’s not brain surgery or rocket science. A child could figure this out. Sit down with your husband, be honest with him, and it’s obvious you’re going to get a divorce. Now, go my lesbian child, be free, and stop sagging showing your boxers. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! Make sure to get your copy of my new book, Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: I’ve Been Cheating On My Husband For 2 Years….With A Woman
