Source: Patrick McMullan / Getty Nas Claims Kelis Is Trying To Relocate Their Son To Colombia Kelis seems to have plans of becoming a Colombian farmer, but Nas isn’t about to let that milkshake move too far if he can help it. According to a new report, the “Bossy” singer didn’t provide proper travel notice so the move might be a violation of her child custody agreement with the Queens rapper. From TMZ : “Nas is pissed off about a bunch of child custody issues — the biggest being Kelis’ plans to hightail to Cartagena. According to docs, obtained by TMZ, Kelis already took 9-year-old Knight to Colombia last month. Nas says he was supposed to get their son on New Year’s Eve … but Kelis texted him to say the plan had changed. He says she didn’t come back to the states until Jan. 14.” It seems she’s already been making moves on the low, low… “Further, he says Kelis has told him she and her new husband have a farm in Colombia and she intends to stay there. Nas says she’s already withdrawn Knight from his private school in L.A. … and he says Kelis is currently homeschooling the kid in Colombia.” Hopefully, they’ll be able to work this out for their son’s sake. In the meantime, Nas is making headlines after he reportedly signed a $340 million deal with Viacom to purchase Pluto TV. Catch up on that here . Continue reading →
Dear Bossip , I have been living with a married man for 6 long years. I have left him TWICE and came back believing that there is nothing between him and his wife. He visits her (their) home at least weekly to visit the dogs. And, he fixes anything that she might need, car, house, etc. When we go out he is lurching at every female he sees. He locks his damn cell phone, and takes phone numbers with an excuse why for each one. So, I left my home in Las Vegas for this clown 6 years ago – my home, my job, my family, and all the while he is sitting pretty with his life pretty much still intact, with one exception, he has ME to go places with, and to play mistress. The problem is that I really cannot afford to get out on my own. I am scared once again that I just won’t make it. He told me and I quote, “I made a promise to my wife to be her friend and help her out. If you don’t like it leave!” This dog has made my life miserable and now I am stuck once again with nowhere to go. And, I am financially struggling. All the while he pays ALL her bills. – Miserable Mistress Dear Ms. Miserable Mistress , You are throwing him under the bus and making him out to be this big bad villain who is taking care of his wife, and mistreats you and won’t make you feel as if you’re the only woman in his life. Yet, you picked up your life, gave up your home, job, and family to go live with a married man in another state, and you really think he owes you something? You really do think that things are going to be great, exciting, and wonderful because you’ve been sleeping with another woman’s husband for 6 long years? Girl, you are foolish and as dumb as your letter. You are getting exactly what you deserve. He is treating you like a side chick, well, some side chicks do get treated better. He’s treating you like a live-in hoe. He doesn’t respect you because you don’t respect yourself. You devalued yourself the moment you began sleeping with a married man. You devalued your worth the moment you felt it okay to lay up with another woman’s husband, then, pack up your entire life and give it all up to live with a man who has told you that basically he is not going to stop taking care of his wife, and you need to get on board or leave. And, you chose to get on board. So, why are you complaining? I’m curious to know why you would give up everything to go be a live-in mistress. Why? What were you hoping would change or what were you expecting? You really moved in with a married man and thought he would be faithful to only you! Really? SMDH! Women are that thirsty, and hungry for a man that they are moving in with married men now? If you’re that desperate for a man, then he will treat you any type of way because you don’t have any respect for yourself. Now, you’re acting mad because when you and he are out he is lurching after women, taking numbers and giving you excuses for each one. Why are you mad? He’s been like that, will always be like that, and won’t change for you or any other woman. How do you think he got you? The same behavior he is exhibiting now is the same behavior he used to win you over, and he’s been like this for the 6 years you’ve been with him. HE HAS NOT CHANGED. You are just noticing it and complaining about it. Hell, you signed up for this. You let him get it away with it. If you left him twice and went back, then you made the choice to go back. You didn’t have to, but you went back. So, ask yourself, why? What did you think or expect to happen? He is not going to change for you. His wife was smart enough to leave him, and she continues to take his money and gets him to come to their home and fix things, and I’m sure he’s taking care of other business too while he’s there. And, what’s sad is that he is still married, his wife knows about you and has resigned herself to this situation, and you got your bird ass living in his home and he’s told you to get on board or leave. And, you’re stewing mad because you expect him to be different, be monogamous and be a one woman man. Bwahahahahahaha! You are silly. I don’t know any woman, any smart, intelligent, career-oriented and independent woman who would give up all her things to go live with a married man in another state. That doesn’t even make sense. That sounds dumb just typing it. Now, you’re mad and complaining because he is taking care of his wife financially, and the house they had/have together, and you’re struggling financially with nowhere to go. He’s probably sleeping with other women, especially if he is lurching after them in public while he’s out with you, and he’s collecting numbers. He is using those numbers. You’re just fool enough to believe his excuses, or fool enough to think he won’t step out on you. You think it’s a competition between you and his wife, and there is no competition. He’s made that known and so has wife. That is why he comes and goes to her home as he pleases, and he will keep coming and going without any resistance from you because you don’t have any claim over him. He’s told you that you have no say, no claim, no hold, and no authority over him. He is going to do what he wants to do. Welp, I guess you’re reaping the karma that you created. Get used to it, and this life of misery. You’re in hell, and it will only get worse. You can wake up, get out, ask for forgiveness from his wife, and yourself, and move out and try to get back your life. Or, you stay, continue to let him walk all over you, and just know that one day he may get tired of you and fed up and put you out. Then what? – Terrance Dean ***(Attention all media/news outlets, if you use this story and letter, or any parts of this content for your outlets you must give credit to this site, the columnist, and his advice)*** Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? S hare your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @ terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Dear Bossip , I am a 27 year old woman who went back to school over 3 years ago to start a second career as a registered nurse. My boyfriend and I, of almost 7 years, have a 2 year old son together. All of my life I have been extremely independent. I moved out of my mother’s house when I was 19 and have been taking care of my own since then. When we first got together, my boyfriend wasn’t very stable in life. I did all I could in my power to help build him into a man (working steadily, getting him to help his parents with bills, etc.). It was hard work, but I slowly started to see improvement. When I first started school, I had to cut down on my work hours so I could focus on my studies. My boyfriend ended up being the one paying for most of our bills. Not too long after I started school I became pregnant. Luckily, my family is an amazing support system and helps a ton with the baby. But, later in my pregnancy I began having complications and couldn’t work anymore. Also, I was approaching the last semester of school and was advised by my dean that I should not work if possible to focus on school and passing my licensing exam at the end of the semester. Well, during all of this, my boyfriend makes me feel like the biggest bum on the planet. We have a lot of stress over finances and he constantly tells me I do nothing and that it isn’t fair to him that he works ridiculous hours. Now, I feel terrible. I know he works like a dog and all, but I think it’s “F’d” up of him to belittle me when since the beginning of our relationship I’ve been the provider and the stable one. For the first time in a long time in my life I’m relying on someone else to hold me down while I try to better myself for the sake of my family. At times, I feel trapped and depressed because I feel like my son and I deserve better in life. He knew what the situation was when I started school and got pregnant. We both knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I felt like we had a partnership and it would be okay in the end. Now, I don’t even know if I want him to share in my success. Is that messed up? In the bottom of my heart I think I want things to work, but I feel like the disrespect has been too frequent and too far. I don’t want my son to witness that, but at the same time I don’t want him to grow up without a father present in his life. – Nurse My Soul Dear Ms. Nurse My Soul , One of the main reasons relationships end, and marriages end in divorce is because of money issues and finances. Money woes ends relationships. You and boyfriend have been together for 7 years with no marriage, and no progress forward other than playing house, and acting like a married couple. You spend years rebuilding him, and transforming him into the man you want him to be – Again, here we are with another woman changing a man into what she desires and what she wants, and in the end he turns the tables on you. You get him to change his ways, do everything you want him to do, and when they become that man, the better man, he soon forgets all the investment you did. And, because there is no obligation to you, he can simply walk away, with no thanks, and move on to another woman who will thank you for cleaning him up, building him up, and transforming him. But, I digress. You do all this work in changing him, and then decide to move in together, and have a child. All the while, you want to better yourself, and go back to school and improve your situation. And, while you’re doing all this for yourself and for him you are the one who is footing the bills, taking care of the finances, the house, the bills, and all the economics. SMDH! Now, because you are unable to work due to the pregnancy, then, have his baby, and now it’s his turn to take care of the finances and to support your dream, it is a problem. He can’t and doesn’t seem to be able to function and work the enormous hours to keep you afloat, and he doesn’t see why he should bear the burden of being the sole money-earner in the household. Well, this is what you created, and now you get to see a side of the same man you helped to build and transform turn on you. How does that feel? Well, I guess you are feeling it because you say that you are depressed, upset, hurt, angry, and reconsidering your relationship, as you should. You want to know why does he belittle you, make you feel bad, and isn’t supportive, or even consider the fact that you held him down in the beginning, and seems to have selective memory about all you’ve done for him. Well, it’s because he doesn’t care, he’s insensitive, inconsiderate, and a jerk. He can’t see the future or what’s ahead of him because he has limited insight, vision, and depth. Notice that it was you who helped him to transform into the man he is today. He couldn’t see that far ahead himself. So, if he can’t see the future for himself, then how can you expect him to see a future for you, him, and your son? He hasn’t had the foresight to even marry you after seven years of being together. Honey, wake up and see this for what it is – a failed relationship. Your investment has now reneged on you, and you can’t even get a return on it. It’s time you start thinking about you and your child. It’s time that you get back on your feet, get yourself a job, build yourself a nice savings, and find yourself an apartment for you and your child. This relationship has run its course. If your man can’t handle this, or support you now, then how can he support you in the future? He holds resentment toward you, and he resents that you are making him take on all the bills while he assumes you’re laying up at home only taking care of your child, and not contributing to the household finances. He feels you are taking his money out of his pocket, leaving him with little for himself, and he probably feels he is working all these hours only to get nothing in return. Therefore, he doesn’t see a future with you. He doesn’t see why he needs to invest in you and his child, and the future that you want to have. You and he are not on the same page. Therefore, get yourself together, and start rethinking how you can do for you and your son as a single parent. Get your career, and spend some time building yourself, loving yourself, and investing in yourself. It’s time to do for you. You’ve done for your man and poured into him, so, now it’s time to pour into yourself. Trust me, he will regret this down the road, especially when you are gone, out of his life, and you put him on child support. Yes, put him on child support, and let him continue to be responsible for his child. He can be part of his child’s life, and you can work out arrangements for joint custody, or visitation. You don’t have to be bitter about this situation, just smarter and wiser. Be better for yourself and your child. Be better because you deserve better. And, finally, you can have the peace of mind, happiness, and joy you deserve and need. Why be in a miserable relationship that causes you to be depressed, or with a man who makes you feel un-needed, unwanted, and a burden? – Terrance Dean ***(Attention all media/news outlets, if you use this story and letter, or any parts of this content for your outlets you must give credit to this site, the columnist, and his advice)*** Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? S hare your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @ terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Got A Gift Receipt? The 10 Gifts Your Boyfriend Secretly Hates Still scrambling to get your man a Valentines Day gift? We may not be able to tell you what to get him but we can definitely tell you what NOT to! Here we’ve compiled a list of gifts that might leave you lonely.
Demarcus Cousins Asks That “Year Of The Monkey” Shirts Be Removed To Honor Black History Month The calendar has aligned to bring about an interesting confluence of holiday circumstances. While February is nationally known as Black History Month, it also coincides with Chinese New Year. While normally that isn’t a problem, 2016 has been dubbed “The Year Of The Monkey”. You see where we’re goin’ with this…? The NBA is all about celebrating the diversity of their game, and in that spirit, the Sacramento Kings planned to celebrate both holidays at the same damn time. As a black man Demarcus “Boogie” Cousins wasn’t really feelin’ that. He approached the Kings operations staff prior to the game and asked them to remove the “Year Of The Monkey” t-shirts that were being placed on every seat in the arena. Lunar New Year celebration tonight at Sleep Train Arena. cc: @kfippin pic.twitter.com/P4AzTNuyj3 — James Ham (@James_Ham) February 2, 2016 During his plea, Demarcus asked television analyst Marques Johnson his opinion on celebrating “The Year Of The Monkey” on the first day of Black History Month. Johnson agreed that it was probably in poor taste. Considering the NBA’s recent history with racist azz Roger Sterling and Danny Ferry, the Kings thought it best to not light that match. Bye t-shirts pic.twitter.com/dt9DFxmuJU — Jason Jones (@mr_jasonjones) February 2, 2016 The shirts were removed and all was well. What do you think about Demarcus’ move? Would YOU have been offended by the shirts? Do Chinese folks have a legitimate complaint when it comes to the removal of their cultural celebration? Weigh in down in the comment section! Image via AP
Dear Bossip , I just turned 19 years old and I started working as a secretary for this company. My boss is an older white gentleman who is 44 years old. I became very fond of him and he would tell me to look to him as a mentor. Growing up I didn’t have a family and I was adopted when I was 8 years old. I know nothing of my history. To be honest, I don’t even know my nationality. I’m fair-skinned with green eyes, freckles, big full lips, full nose and curly/nappy long blondish hair. I was never that close with my adopted family and I always felt like an outsider with them. My boss started to go on frequent trips for the company and he would take me along as his personal assistant. I loved going because he would pay me double my weekly check. One night, on one of our trips, he came into my bedroom crying about how his wife left him and is taking his son. I felt so bad for him, but he insisted on staying in my room so he wasn’t alone because he said he was having suicidal thoughts. The next night he started talking about how amazing of a young lady I was and how he wished he would’ve married someone like me. The day before we left I awoke to three dozen roses in my room. When we got back home he started being very flirty, touchy feely and would leave me gifts. I know the age difference is a big gap, but to be honest I started to like him. When we did go out we would get compliments with how good we looked together. Even though I’m 19 years old I could pass for maybe 25 years old. Then, one night, on one of his business trips we slept together and he took my virginity. I know what you may be thinking that this man took advantage of me, but it wasn’t like that, because I wanted to do it. We continued to sleep together mostly every day after work. We would meet up at hotels and have sex. I’ve become madly in love with him. Things started to get rocky when his wife came barging into the office threatening to fight me. I was so confused because I was under the impression that she left him and they were getting a divorce. He even assured me that they were divorcing and that he loved me. His daughters stalked my Facebook and started sending me threats. His daughters are 23 and 17 years of age and are from a previous marriage. He also has a 10 year old son with his soon-to-be ex-wife who is 32 years old, I believe. I found out I was pregnant and he became very distant and said that we needed to talk about our options. I ended up having a miscarriage 6 weeks into it and to my surprise he started acting normal again. He was there with me through it all and said he was distant because he was nervous about being a father again. I completely understood and we reconciled our relationship. He even took me on a vacation to Barbados where he proposed and promised that he would move me in his house once his wife moves out. Apparently, she moved back in because she ran out of money and he didn’t want his son to be homeless. Three months after the engagement I found out I was 11 weeks pregnant. I was so thrilled. He wasn’t too thrilled, though. He told me to get an abortion because if it comes out in the divorce, then, his wife will get everything. I said no, and that’s when everything fell apart. He stopped calling me as much and he even fired me saying that I was missing too many days from work and that I wasn’t needed anymore. He also told me that people were beginning to talk at work, so before I started to show he wanted me gone so he wouldn’t get in trouble by his partners and cause a scandal for the company. Since I have no job I’ve been bouncing around from place to place. He gives me a “weekly allowance” so I can eat and handle other expenses. I’m now 29 weeks pregnant. His wife texted me the other day telling me that she knows about my pregnancy and that she will never except my child in her home and despite it all they never were going to get a divorce and that I will never have her husband. I called him immediately and he said that this could’ve all been avoided if I just got an abortion and then he hung up on me. I just don’t understand how he could do this to me. He said he loved me. I still have the ring. I still wear it. I’m so confused. I’m now thinking about adoption because I can’t raise this baby on my own, but I’ve also been through the struggles of adoption and I don’t want to put my son through that. Even after he said all that horrible stuff to me he’s still asking to meet up and when we do he kisses my belly or he will bring me gifts and tell me we’re a family. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m completely broken. – Broken Dear Ms. Broken , You call the Human Resources offices where you used to work, and you explain to them what happened, and what’s been going on. Demand that they have a meeting with you. You contact the Equal Employment Opportunity Center, it is an 800 number, and you can look them up, and you also explain to them what happened to you. They will inform you of your rights, and the laws that protects you. You do this first, and then you contact the Human Resources office where you used to work. When you contact the EEOC office, you tell them what happened, what’s been happening, and what is continuing to happen. File a report with the EEOC, and you give them, along with the Human Resource offices where you used to work everything you’ve experienced and encountered with your former boss. You have to document all of this information, including dates, times, gifts, trips, and everything he’s been doing, and has done for you the moment you start working for him. If you have receipts from the gifts, then get them. Or, take pictures of all the gifts he’s given you. If you have your plane ticket where he has taken you on trips, produce them. If you have pictures of you and him on trips together, show them and keep them. All the text messages, voice mail messages, emails, or anything he has sent you, get them and get a copy of your phone record to show how often he calls you and texts you. And, write down every date, and every instance he began touching you inappropriately at work, being flirty, and saying things to you. Write it all down! Tell the EEOC, and the Human Resources office that you want to file a sexual harassment action suit against him, and you want to sue him for firing you. Trust me, what he has done and is doing to you is inappropriate, and he feels that since you’re young and don’t know any better, then he can take advantage of you and the situation. And, do not tell him you are going to the Human Resources office, or calling the EEOC. I repeat, do not tell him anything. Continue to let him give you gifts, money, and tell you things that he is going to do. And, keep a record of all of this. Therefore, it’s time for you to grow up and be a grown ass woman, and take matters back into your hands. Get out of your feelings and out of your head, and it’s time you start thinking and being an adult. He never loved you. He was and is never going to marry you. He took advantage of your youth, your naivety, and your need and desire to be and feel loved. He did what most predators do, and he preyed on you and your vulnerability. Yes, he is a predator. Men like him are vile and disgusting. In your vulnerable state, and naïve senses he began doing things to you to make you feel comfortable with him, and to trust him. Predators prey on young women, especially vulnerable women. That is why he took you on a trip with him, which is totally inappropriate, and then came to your room crying talking about his wife was going to divorce him and that he needed to sleep in your room because he felt suicidal. Sweetie, that was his trick, his ploy to get into your head and heart. He played on your emotions. As your superior, your boss, he should have never come into your room. And, he had no reason or no place to disclose his personal life to you, a 19 year old, and then ask to stay in your room. That should have set off some bells and alarms in your head. But, he was using your life story and your naivety to get inside your heart and head. That was the moment he began working on you and you fell for it. After that night, and when he sent the flowers, he knew that he had won you over and that he had you. You were on the hook for him, and he continued to play you the entire time by telling you things you wanted and needed to hear. SMDH! Then, when things didn’t work out the way he planned, he gave you some bogus reason of why he fired you, and it was because he didn’t want people in the office, including his partners to learn about your pregnancy. Well, since he knew what he was doing was inappropriate, then, it’s time you let everyone know what type of man they are working with. I strongly encourage you to find a lawyer from the EEOC office, or ask if they can recommend someone who can take your case as Pro-bono, since you don’t have a job, and they represent you. It will take a lawyer to help you through these proceedings. Also, take him to court when the child is born, and request a DNA test, in order to prove the child is his, and then you request full custody of the child. Again, find a family court lawyer, or request one who can work with you Pro-bono, and you take all the things you are supplying the Human Resources office, and EEOC office, and you share these with the court and explain to them the same thing that happened to you while working for him. Then, you tell the court that you want to put him on child support. Look, I understand you’re feeling heart-broken, sad, and upset over what he did to you. And, you feel that the first love of your life has totally destroyed you, and you’re not sure what to do or where to turn, but you do have options. You have to start thinking and being wise about these decisions. Yes, it is your choice if you decide to give up your child for adoption, but make sure you think this through clearly and concisely before you make any rash decisions. You have to do what is best for you, but please know that you were taken advantage of by someone who is a predator. This man violated several workplace laws, including sexual harassment, and he should be held accountable for what he has done to you. You are going to have to get out of your head, out of your feelings, and see the situation for what it really is. The only reason he is giving you an allowance, and continuing to fill your head with lies is because he doesn’t want you to sue him, file charges against him with the EEOC office, or the Human Resources office. And, he definitely doesn’t want you to take him to court for child support. He is going to continue to lie to you, fill your head with empty promises, tell you things that you want to hear, and continue to manipulate the situation. DO NOT BELIEVE HIM OR ANYTHING HE SAYS. He is a liar. Again, document everything he is doing for you, and each time he gives you money you document it. If you can get checks from him, that would be better. Record all the conversations, and keep all the messages. As a matter of fact, don’t take his calls and let him fill your voicemail with messages of what he plans to do, or let him rant about the child, and what he did to you and what he doesn’t want you to do. Keep all of these and save them for your hearings. This is an unfortunate situation and I feel for you, but you’re going to have to grow up and be about your business. Don’t allow him to continue to manipulate and deceive you. It’s time you become smart, wise, and hip to the game. Take him for everything, and don’t be intimated by him or fear him. You hold the ball, and it’s in your court. Again, don’t tell him what you are doing. Don’t let him know what you are up to. And, don’t even mention Human Resources of EEOC to him. Don’t let him know or give him whiff of what you are doing. You take control now! – Terrance Dean ***(Attention all media/news outlets, if you use this story and letter, or any parts of this content for your outlets you must give credit to this site, the columnist, and his advice)*** Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? S hare your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @ terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
No Chill! The Game Trolls Karrueche’s Crunchy Azz Cakes Just last month The Game got reprimanded by Chris Brown and his crew for instal-stalking and trolling his known ex, Karrueche Tran. It doesn’t look like The Game took Chris’s words to mean a damn thing though, because he’s back at it this morning for round 2. In an effort to promote his new music, Game posted a photo of Kae on Instagram. Buuuuut, it doesn’t end there. He tagged her in the photo, but was sure to land the tag right on her lady parts. Yep, he tagged her crotch. Do you guys think he being a petty patty or was that placement just a coincidence?? We’d love to hear what Breezy’s got to say about all of this…
Dear Bossip , We have been together for a little over a year, but his mother still doesn’t want to meet me. He had an ex of 5 years, and she became best friends with his mom. After they broke up, the ex still calls her, has lunch with her, goes out with her and invites her to trips. When we started seeing each other I asked him to meet his mother. So, he tried to set up lunch or dinner between the three of us so she could get to know me. But, she refused to go. She told him that the reason she didn’t want to meet me was because she did not approve of the fact that he was already dating and that he had not waited an appropriate length of time before seeing other people (according to her, he shouldn’t date for at least a year out of respect for the ex). She said he was hurting his ex for no reason by dating me. To sum up, she told him that she respected his choice (of dating me), but didn’t agree with what he was doing, so she wanted nothing to do with me. I let it go at that point, because things were getting tense and I didn’t want to meet someone who already hated me without even knowing me. To make things worse, she even told him not to bring me home without notice, either he comes alone or she won’t receive anyone in her house (Just to be clear, my boyfriend doesn’t live with her, since he split up with his ex he lives with his dad, so he visits his mother once over the weekend). It’s already been more than a year since we got together. And, his mother is still friends with the ex. They go to church together, have lunch, and his mother still invites him to join them for lunch (knowing we are together), but he refuses. He told me that, in the beginning, whenever he told her anything about me she snapped and didn’t want to listen to him, hear my name, or any comment regarding me. So, he couldn’t tell her anything about us, what we did, where we went or anything related to us. Recently, he’s told me that she isn’t reacting as badly as before. He gets to make comments that involve me without her snapping and yelling about how much of a horrible person I am. But, it only gets to be a very short conversation because she doesn’t show much interest. – What should I do? Should I just expect to never meet her? – His Mom Doesn’t Like Me Dear Ms. His Mom Doesn’t Like Me , His mother is never going to like you. And, instead of trying to win her over, and get her approval, just let it go that you will probably never meet her, and if you do she still will not like you or approve of your relationship. Therefore, as much as I understand you want to meet his mother, and you want to develop some type of relationship with her, be the bigger person, and don’t force the issue. Besides, she’s being silly and immature. And, why is she hanging out with his ex? They are going to church, having lunch dates, and going on trips together. Hell, maybe they are dating! And, in all honesty, I don’t see why you are in a relationship with him. He’s a momma’s boy. He’s a grown ass man still seeking his mother’s approval of his girlfriends. He is so busy trying to get her to like you that he is letting her run his life, and relationships. And, she is running your relationship. He can’t bring you to her home. She doesn’t want to have lunch or dinner with you. He can’t talk about you or your relationship with her because she gets upset and angry at the mention of your name. SHE IS DICTATING HIM AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP! Why are you with him? Another thing, how old are you and he? You sound like you’re teenagers. He lives with his father, and he’s still afraid of his mother? He ran from his mother’s house and to his father’s house? You’re dating someone who is dependent on his parents? He has no backbone to stand up to his mother, and he will never be man enough for you because he’s still a boy letting his mother tell him what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. How the hell can his mother fix her mouth to tell him that he is hurting his ex by dating you? HUH?!? And, then she said told him that he had not waited an appropriate amount of time before dating someone else! According to her he was supposed to wait at least a year. Girl, kick him and his momma to the curb. He isn’t a man. He’s a boy. He’s still wet behind the ears. His momma is deciding for him who he can and cannot date. She is hanging out with his ex with the hopes of getting them back together. She has too much say in his life, and she has way too much control over him. You don’t want to be in a relationship with someone and their mother is too much in their business, relationships, and life. You will find yourself competing with her for his time, love, attention, and affection. And, trust, he will always choose his mother. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he is dating you just to spite his mother. I wouldn’t recommend you staying in this relationship. It is unhealthy, and creepy. What grown ass woman hangs out with her son’s ex going on lunch dates, church, and other outings? She has a serious problem, and you’ll be better off dumping him and not getting caught up in their weird relationship. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? S hare your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @ terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
What Does Chris Think Of Karrueche Getting Sexy For Snapchat? Just as New York Fashion Week came to an end, Karrueche shared some sexy pics and videos of herself during a photoshoot in Brooklyn on Snapchat yesterday. It just so happened hat she was pants-less in one of her flicks and Chris seemed to have an opinion on it. Flip on over to see the snapshots and what happened after…
Dear Bossip , I met a wonderful man 2 years ago. It took him about a year to convince me to date him. Even though I liked him I was a single mom in college and had just gotten out of a relationship and thought it best not to date for awhile. And, not to mention he was in a bad situation also. He was out of work, and living with his mom and sister. He has custody of his three kids and the mom is one of those who is only there when it is good for her or the public’s view of her. His devotion and our similarity in how to raise our children was one of the reasons I was attracted to him. So, I was his friend and gave moral support until he got on his feet. At that point we began dating. After a few months he asked me and my son to move in. Let me start off saying his kids are somewhat good kids, but they have a lot of issues, mostly from the abandonment of their mother in which she left to start a new family with her new husband. And, I really try to understand this and appreciate, sometimes, their lashing out at me because I know it is not really me they are lashing out at. But, here is my dilemma: I am a very strict mama. My son gets straight A’s and hardly gets in trouble at home or school because he knows I do not play. I will take everything away and I will stick to it for a long time if I have to. Before I moved in with this man he was like that to his children. But, now it’s like aliens have taken over his body. Case in point: Both of his boys get suspended – one for fighting, and the other for not listening to the bus driver. He did nothing. There were no phones taken away, no spanking, no games taken away, no grounding, not even a good talking too. Their mom even bought them a brand new game. One of the boys got suspended again the same week he went back. I put my foot down about respecting me and my son, but I realize these aren’t my kids and the choices they make do not affect me or how I raise my son. But, is so tiring to always come home to kids acting like they don’t have any sense and my son is looking at me like why can’t I get away with that. I love this man and the only problems we have is with his kids, especially when they disrespect me or my son and our material possessions. He does nothing. I have talked to him repeatedly about this and to no avail. This is a total 180 from what he was like when he was by himself with the kids. I know I have to figure out if this relationship is worth it. But my question to you, Terrance, is am I wrong for not wanting to deal with children that act like they have no sense, respect or appreciation? – Tired of Dealing With Bay-Bay’s Kids Dear Ms. Tired of Dealing With Bay-Bay’s Kids , To rectify this situation and problem of not having to deal with someone else’s children that act as if they don’t have no sense, respect, or appreciation of you or their father, then, you and your child move into your own home, and you visit your boyfriend. Therefore, you don’t have to live in a house with children who don’t respect their elders, are disruptive in school, and who will not influence your child to do what they are doing. And, you won’t have to deal with children who are probably upset about their parent’s separation/divorce, their mother abandoning them, and another woman being in their home whom they see as trying to replace their mother. I’m sure the kids are probably upset, and angry about their parent’s splitting up, especially since their mother is with a new man and has a new family. The boys are living with their father, which was probably a decision made by the parents, and the father felt it best the boys be with him. So, they are probably trying to understand what’s going on while dealing with their emotional and mental issues, which will explain them acting up in school, and being disrespectful to you. And, since you mentioned that the father doesn’t do anything to reprimand them, or even deal with their suspensions with any type of consequences, then, it leads me to believe that he probably feels guilty, or feels the need to let them act out because their mother is not there. And, he probably thought you would step in and help with the disciplining, or your moving in would not be as disruptive and the boys would take to another woman being in the home. Ultimately, the burden is on him. The burden of disciplining his children, and getting them into therapy to deal with their emotions and mentality is on him, and they need to be in therapy to talk about how they feel, especially with their mother not being in the home and starting another family. It doesn’t surprise me that they may feel abandoned. Their mother left them. They are probably asking themselves, why didn’t their mother take them with her? How could she start a new family and not include them? They probably do feel left out, and neglected. The father doesn’t know what to do and how to handle them. And, let’s not forget that when you met him he was living with his mother and sister, who are two women-figures in the boy’s lives that have been stable maternal figures. So, he had help. They boys were in a stable environment, and it was disrupted when he moved out and moved you in. Things are not going to change with the boys until their father steps up his discipline and repercussions for their behavior. He also needs to put them in therapy so they can express their emotions and how they are feeling about all of this happening. Until then, they will continue to act out and do what they are doing. He is going to have his hands full. And, no matter how much you talk, complain, and ask him to do something about it, he won’t because he feels guilty. Also, you are putting him in a position to choose between you and his boys. There is a fight happening between the boys and you. Both of you want his attention, his guidance, and his direction. He is trying to stay neutral, but this is only making the situation worse. Thus, I recommend that you and your son move into your own home, and you continue dating. He needs to get a handle on his own home before another woman comes into the picture, and he needs to work on his disciplinary skills with his children. Dating will you and he to figure out how if this is something you really want, and if you can blend your families. It will allow for time to pass, and for him to get a better handle on his home life, dealing with his boys, and making sure their environment is stable. Besides, it will also help to keep your sanity, and not have your children being influenced by their behavior. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @ terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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