Irina Shayk is recently single. Her 5 year relationship with Ronaldo, that everyone made fun of, because we all know Ronaldo is gay and that she was just in contract to beard him, in exchange for international bikini modeling fame and a salary…was in her lingerie in some Marc Anthony and Friends latin song for the latin crowd…that is actually a massive proud market that probably still buy CDs…and I refused to watch it, because I hate this shit…. I just like pointing out that when played properly, life goes on after sugar baby-ing properly, you just get thrown into the right circle and other rich dudes want in on it, the published work helps…and what it comes down to is whatever her hustle is or was…she’s pretty fucking hot…Here are some of her instagram pics….
Jessica Alba is a hot bodied mom, who you may remember as being an it girl everyone wanted to have sex with, despite being Mexican, before settling down and becoming a billionaire with a brand of organic baby products…and I guess whoring herself out to endorse products for money is pretty much her thing…and these bikini pics of her from her instagram, the thigh gap one has since been removed, because I guess she is not relatable to all the fat moms pushing 40 who love her, and give her money, but that thanks to the internet will live on forever… I mean this body…is crazy…
Jessica Alba is working it good, even showing a little puffy nipple thanks to too much breast feeding, for some magazine I’ve never heard of, but that I know has taken the right steps in post production to make her skin look like she’s not in her 30s or a mom of 2, but instead a young vibrant thing we all used to want to have sex with as she got paid millions to cock tease us before settling down…and for that we celebrate, not that we haven’t given this unappreciative, never-nude bitch enough, like her fucking whole life of luxury, thanks to our lusting after her, something we could have collectively taken back from her, if we weren’t all such fucking perverts with no control over wanting to fuck girls in movies marketed to us hard. here are the pics.
Desiree Hartsock may not have won The Bachelor, but the fourth-place finisher will be handing out the roses as the new Bachelorette starting May 20. The cutie said on The Bachelor: After The Final Rose special that she is “ready and open” to “to meet the man of her dreams” come this summer. Despite the fact that she made it far and became a fan favorite, we still don’t know that much about her. So here are some fun Desiree Hartsock facts: 1. She is a bridal stylist and a designer in Los Angeles. That will certainly come in handy if, as she hopes, she’ll be wearing her own before too long! 2. She designed her own dress for the opening rose ceremony when she wowed Sean Lowe . Who is now engaged to Catherine Giudici, but still! 3. She’s outdoorsy. Loves hiking in particular. Hope you’re in shape, guys! 4. She grew up in Colorado before settling in Newport Beach, Calif. 5. Like Sean Lowe, Desiree is a loyal and devout Christian, whose Twitter often refers to God and his will. No wonder she made it so far with Sean. Her Twitter has been quiet since March 11, of course, since filming for The Bachelorette is underway! Sounds like it’s going well so far, too. “OMG just saw Desiree on her first date for The Bachelorette! S he’s so cute omg & we talked & the guy was so hot” tweeted a Twitter user this week. Des was spotted “on the freeway in Sherman Oaks, California” at “like 2:00 pm” on March 16, driving with a very cute guy in a very cute convertible! Life looks pretty good for her right now, for sure. “Excellent first date for Dez!!! So important to get off to a good start!!!” tweeted producer Mike Fleiss. “Dez is doing great. Already a first kiss!!!” Excited to see Des as The Bachelorette? Yes! She’s like perfect for the show! No, I prefer Lindsay/Catherine! No, someone new entirely! View Poll »
Do you recognize these bronzed buns in a bikini? They belong to a Brazilian banger that’s been around a bit, dating celebs like 50 Cent and Chris Brown before settling down with her current boxer boyfriend… Can you name the cakes? Hit the flip for the answer.
I know without online dating, most of you wouldn’t ever get laid, married or live the normal life…and really online dating is not as out of control as it used to be, because normal girls use the internet now….cuz back when I used to fuck girls off the intenet, before settling down, back when the internet was a crazy fucking place, meeting the girls was always scary as fuck cuz you didn’t know if you’d show up and get gang rape by a bunch of computer nerds, mugged and when you got stuck with a fat one, you’d suck it up and take a blowjob to avoid awkwardness, since you weren’t meeting to get to know each other, you already did it in chat….sometimes there were hot ones, other times you had to focus on one thing about them that could get you hard and in the end, it was kinda exciting….but now the internet is filled with normal people and finding the freaks takes work….. Either way, I’m not sure if the moral of the story is to be careful who you date online, or if you should just not keep any valuables around them, or if you should just avoid the black ones….either way, funny story….
