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‘American Idol’ Report Card: Jessica Sanchez, Joshua Ledet On Top

Remaining seven get current Wednesday night, taking on hits from this decade with surprisingly great results. By James Montgomery Joshua Ledet Photo: Getty Images On Wednesday’s “American Idol,” the crowd was crazy (except for poor Hollie Cavanagh), the judges slightly cracked (comparing Phillip Phillips to the lovechild of Steve McQueen and Johnny Cash) and the music actually current. Shoot, for a second there, you probably thought you were watching “The Voice” or something. Yes, it was a big night in “Idol” land, as the top seven took on songs from this decade with surprisingly good results. Most soared and scored, and though we can’t believe no one did an Adele tune, we’ve gotta say, the remaining contestants definitely brought the goods. Perhaps they should just sing contemporary songs every week? But whose performances earned the highest marks? Who fell to the back of the class? And what the heck was going on with the crowd after Hollie’s performance? For answers to all of those questions and more, here’s our “American Idol” report card: Jessica Sanchez: Her family is officially my favorite ever. Her decision to do Jazmine Sullivan’s “Stuttering” may have mystified Jimmy Iovine, but it was clearly the right call. She split the difference between previous big-voiced stunners and all that Bebe Chez stuff, threw in some stank (and some scatting) and delivered a performance that, quoth Randy Jackson, “Slayed the biggest fish of the night.” So much voice, so emotionally over-the-top, and so diva-riffic — and all seemingly so effortless, Sanchez flexed her talents and fired back after a few weeks in the wilderness. “Every time I hear you sing, I forget where I am,” Steven Tyler said. So, he hears her sing in grocery stores and behind the wheel? A- Joshua Ledet: He acted adorably upon getting a birthday message from Fantasia. He’s clearly found his lane over the past few weeks, and his confidence seems to grow with each subsequent performance. This week, he did Bruno Mars’ “Runaway Baby,” which started vampy, campy and maybe even a tad bit old fashioned (even for a retroist like Mars), but it really picked up speed in the second half, building to a big note and a fiery finish, earning Ledet the night’s first standing ovation. He’s certainly a dynamic performer, but is he also a current one? That might be the only thing standing between him and the title. Oh, and Colton Dixon’s female fanbase. Grade: B+ Hollie Cavanagh: Man, even her hometown visit was boring. Chose to sing Pink’s “Perfect” (or, as she put it, “Pay-feckt”) and, clearly rattled by repeat visits to the bottom three, had the thousand-yard stare going from her intro package onward. But, she delivered the goods onstage, with a performance that was both confident and restrained. And that last note! Apparently, however, my opinion was in the minority, as the judges did everything short of zipping up her suitcases and booking her a window seat. J.Lo gave her the “You look beautiful” and the “We’ll see how it all pans out” (double kiss of death). Steven mumbled something about it “Not being perfect,” and Randy, addressing the odd vacuum of tension in the room, only added, “It’s all of a sudden very quiet in here.” Jeez, this is getting difficult to watch. End it now. B Skylar Laine: Producers introduced us to her new Twitter tag — #skoutlaws — which, upon first glance, looks like “Skoal” (oddly fitting). She played it safe by choosing Kellie Pickler’s “Didn’t You Know How Much I Loved You,” which showed off her vocal range by … uh, displaying how adept she was at playing rhythm guitar. Her performance was proficient, professional and pretty much perfect, but still felt like a step back from last week’s breakout “Wind Beneath My Wings.” Loved the hobo trashcan fires though. B- Elise Testone: She decided to tackle Lady Gaga’s “You and I” ( told you she would ) and was sadly talked out of playing drums by Jimmy Iovine, which probably would’ve been the unintentional comedy highlight of 2012. The performance was passionate, if not particularly polished, but that’s been par for the course with her in recent weeks. She can bring it, for sure, though if (when) she survives, perhaps it’s time to soften things up just a tad? “Elise is back!” Randy enthused. Until next week, of course. B- Colton Dixon: The most famous alumnus of the Middle Tennessee Christian School (go Cougars!) went Apex Predator this week, throwing shade at fellow fella Phillip Phillips and swinging for the fences with Skylar Grey’s “Love the Way You Lie.” With a string section, some smoke and a soaring-for-the-sake-of-soaring bridge, Dixon was clearly in it to win it, though thanks to the arrangement’s languid pacing and CDix’s longing stares into the camera, this one very nearly veered into self-parody. The girls loved it, of course. Oh, and any time Steven and Randy compliment your choice of jacket, well, perhaps it’s time to fire your stylist. C+ Phillip Phillips: “Idol” producers played up his rural roots and pawn-shop past by piping the theme from “Sanford and Sons” into his hometown package. Classy. Phillip refused to take part in Iovine’s Machiavellian scheme to pit him against Colton, which automatically makes me like him 10x more than CDix. His version of Maroon 5’s “Give a Little More” featured all the usual Phillips’ trademarks (grouting, foot shuffling, forehead-veining) though, credit where credit is due: Thanks to the addition of a sax player, he basically turned this into a Dave Matthews Band performance. “I think we’ve seen that a couple times,” Randy said. Yeah, dawg, like on Under the Table and Dreaming. C Get your “Idol” fix on MTV News’ “American Idol” page , where you’ll find all the latest news, interviews and opinions. Share your reviews of this week’s “Idol” performances in the comments section below! Related Photos ‘American Idol’ Season 11 Performances

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‘American Idol’ Report Card: Jessica Sanchez, Joshua Ledet On Top

American Idol: Clap for Tinkerbell! [Recaps]

Well they really tried, didn’t they? After last week’s unmitigated disaster, all the singing kids had to do their best to buoy this season back up. Did they succeed? Did they fail? Yes on both counts! Ohhh they were selling a Redemption narrative just so hard last night, weren’t they? All the judges were paid an extra ten grand to say “SOOOOooooo much better than last week, [boy]!” So much better, America! We promise! American Idol isn’t dead! Here, audience, show your support for Idol , which has given you so much. Applaud, applaud, applaud! That will keep it alive, alive forever. They really did try that on us, and it sort of worked. A coupla times we did get big watery grins and say “Oh they’re back .” I mean, not that intensely, but there were a few glimmers. Maybe the boys aren’t so bad. Or maybe they are. The Good Didn’t Carol Brady do so well? I mean, we knew she could sing . But without the hobo costume, was there anything there? Last week she was sooooo nervous, staring creepily into the camera and murmuring song words. Plus her son Greg Brady got eliminated last Thursday, so that probably made her really sad. But you know what? Despite all that, she still persevered. She sang a nice little guitar song and her Carol Brady mullet bounced bravely behind her and Kara smiled and let the wind sweep even more through her hair. (Seriously, what in the Sam Hill was going on with her stormy head fur last night? It was unreal.) Simon was very impressed and he blew Carol a kiss and Carol tee-hee’d in his winning, boyish way and Hold Onto Yer Butts , I think we may have a blossoming contender in our midst. Once he loses that mullet and loosens up even more, he could be mooning and gooning and crooning with the likes of little Krissy Allen in Idol heaven (a houseboat in Naples, FL) pretty soon. Who else was good. Um… I still don’t think that John Park is as bad as the judges are saying he is. His notes are leeeettle off, sure. But he’s not totally whiffing it like a lot of other contestants. I mean, he doesn’t embarrass himself terribly while singing. That’s the rubric we’re using to determine the frontrunners this season. Do they woefully embarrass themselves and shame their families while performing? No? OK then. They’ll probably win. The Bad Jermaine Sellers. What exactly IS going on there? Why did he make it this far? I wonder if the judges just liked his sassy personality. He’s a mix of snappy and “God-fearin'”. He really likes to drop that church thing, doesn’t he? Everything’s all, “You should come to church with me and see how I really sing.” But… Jermaine, if that’s how you really sing, then shouldn’t you be there, singing? And no offense, but I’m sure you are a good singer for your church. But this is a national competition. There are a million other Best Singers At Their Churches who all want the same thing you do. It’s not enough. Plus: the outfits. Ohhh the outfits. Last week it was Brechtian Ring Master. This week it was Urban Pee-Wee Herman. It’s just too much. Too many embellishments. His clothes are like his singing! Nothing fits right and it’s all a bit overdone and I don’t think anyone understands it. I really think he ought to go home this week. Though I will sort of miss the performance outfits. Next week was going to be Georgian-era Street Walker. Sigh. Our Latino Egghead who we were all so in love with? WTF was that last night? It’s like someone put a big melon by the side of his bed on Monday night and when he woke up he looked like Egghead Latino but he was really some sort of soft-sided Danny Gokey. It was just a mess. There he was singing some sorta slow R&B growl-jam that just didn’t feel right. It felt like capitulating, it felt like compromise. And of course after whining last week about things being too non-traditional, wild-maned Kara had to stumblespeak about how it was boring and staid and whatever. The judges were actually doing that all night, contradicting themselves. “Yo dawg, I wanna see you change it up, do something fresh! For me, for you, make it new! I’m rhymin’ here!” And then a minute later to someone else, “Hey that’s a great song. Why are you changing it? Just sing the song. It doesn’t need anything new.” How are any of the kids supposed to take anything away from that? I mean, I suppose they deserve to lose if they were taking Randy, or anyone but Simon, seriously in the first place, but still. The judges just have no idea what they’re saying, ever. And it is too bad. The Mystery Boys What is one to make of Tim Urban ? Sure he looks like a cast member from a gender-reversed remake of Little Darlings directed by Mike Jeffries, and that is mildly intriguing , but he’s also such a resplendent dope of a person, isn’t he? Just singing his silly songs with his silly grin and brown corn silk hair. I mean, he ain’t goin’ anywhere. Oh lawd no. That child is in this for the haul , I assume. I think. I mean, if Sanjaya can do it… Lord if Chicken Little can do it! Tim Urban must do it. Even though he wears white pants. Can you believe he wore white pants? White pants. And a red shirt. On national television. While strumming a little guitar. And wearing Muzzy’s head like a hat. He’s so confusing. He’s hilarious, and yet he’s also awful. What can we do with him? And what are we going to do with this poor little sixteen year old who has chosen to struggle with some internal issues on the most watched television show in America? It just seems so mean. Kid is a child , and he’s be-bopping all over the place while everyone sighs and snickers. At least the judges seem to like him. You know who I’m talking about, right? That kid. Who wears the chain, the confirmation necklace or whatever. Yeah, him. He’s just so… What is he? What is he doing? Does anyone get what’s going on there? Again, the judges are into it. The judges are digging it. But I am not picking up what he is laying down. Does anyone else get his jive? Or is it really all complete bunk? If you have an answer for me, that’d be real marvy. Abusing Authority Did anyone else notice just how touchy-feely Ryan was last night? He was alllll over Carol Brady like he was made of churros. Just wanted to take a big amusement park bite out of him. Poor Carol was a little uncomfortable (“Oh, Miiiike…”) but you know he secretly liked it. Legends and whispers sweep through the studio about Ryan’s Boys. They’re much like Paula’s Men, those dudes she’d sleep with during the week and favor during the broadcast. It’s good to be one of Ryan’s Boys. It was good to be one of Kara’s Boys, but apparently something happened. Casey Johnson? The toucan wearing a Jessica Lange wig? Yeah, Kara has been in lurrrrve with him. But then something must have happened, because last night she wasn’t just critical. She was deliberately mean. She called him dirt. Dirt! As if this was an after school special from the ’70s. “Oh that Jimmy Jenkins is real dirt, Judy.” It was kind of embarrassing. I really wonder what happened. Do you think it had anything to do with why her hair looked like there was a small tornado outside of the Vidal Sassoon Training Academy? I hope it did. I think it did. I believe . CLAP!

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American Idol: Clap for Tinkerbell! [Recaps]

WTF Spiderman

I wish I had an explanation, but then again, I kind of don't, y'know? Because, really, what can you say about a flock of village children pouring out of a van being held back by shirtless Superman as he protects a flock of ducklings? (Thanks, Jackie !) Contribute: Add an image, link, video or comment

Leona Lewis Rescued A Bunny!

CELEBRITY BUZZ : The pop singer rescued a bunny from a homeless man, whom, upon being asked what he was planning on doing with the animal, claimed he would “probably eat it.” The animal rights activist and vegetarian also slipped the hobo a cool $100 before telling him to go buy himself a squirrel burger or two (one of those things is made up). Contribute: Add an image, link, video or comment

NYC Prep: Mr. PC and the Vicious Circle

Meow! Last night’s episode was all about people being bitchy. Girls being bitchy, boys being bitchy, couples being bitchy, dates being bitchy. Bitchiest of all, though, was darling PC Peterson , a confused and disorderly young man who’s basically King Bitch

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NYC Prep: Mr. PC and the Vicious Circle