Tag Archives: kourt-slims

Tabloid Offers Obvious Weight Loss Advice, Totally Sucks

We gotta talk, Life & Style . We understand that you’re celebrity gossip tabloid trying to make money, and that naive individuals blindly heed the words of talentless celebrities for reasons that make us ashamed to be a human being. Therefore, you’re gonna plaster their bikini bodies on your cover each week and make it seem like such geniuses as Kim Kardashian and Kendra Wilkinson can actually offer useful advice. But can you at least publish new material?!? The latest issue of this embarrassing publication simple recycles old photos for its lead story and then quotes Kim, Kendra and others from interviews these stars gave months ago. For example, Kendra offers these words of wisdom to anyone trying to get in shape: “I’m phasing [junk food] out, little by little… and “hiking, biking, just going outside and having fun.” How about you, Kristin Cavallari ? What’s your secret? “I don’t eat processed food, for the most part. I try to eat all natural. I work out three to four times a week at the gym and do lots of sit-ups.” So… wait. People can lose weight if they eat healthy and exercise?!? This is novel information. What else can you tell us, Life & Style ? Only you can stop this madness, people. Stop purchasing these ridiculous tabloids, especially when we’ll reprint their covers for free on THG. While the magazine above isn’t the only offender – did you hear that Jennifer Aniston lost 7 pounds in 7 days ?!? – it’s clearly the most unoriginal. See anything familiar on the cover of its previous two issues, prior to the one above?

Read the original here:
Tabloid Offers Obvious Weight Loss Advice, Totally Sucks

Kourtney Kardashian Gets Her Bikini Body Back… Again!

Someone really needs to get Kourtney Kardashian a GPS for her bikini body. The unmarried mother continues to lose her figure every few weeks. Fortunately, she always recovers it, just in time to grace the cover of a supermarket tabloid. Amazing how that works, isn’t it? Even though she’s already told us how she lost 33 pounds, while also having already shared her diet secrets with the world, Kourtney is featured yet again in the latest issue of Life & Style . Forget about her sister’s dangerous new love , we’re dying to discover the tips that can help us get airbrushed by magazines lose so much weight. Take it away, Kourt! Small diet tweaks : “I used to always get a chai latte from Starbucks, but I just switched to one espresso shot… I was eating a lot of dried fruit, and I didn’t realize how much sugar that added. And now I’ll eat raw almonds instead of salted ones.” Embrace a physical activity : “I’m big on running – just putting on my iPod Shuffle and going for a run by my house.” Eat fresh food : “Frozen yogurt tastes so chemically to me because I’ve been eating salads and salmon and chicken. Fresh food is so much better.” Then, there’s this final tip: Get pregnant in order to increase ratings for your reality show, pocket lots of cash by exploiting this situation for every tabloid in the country, use that money to pay a personal trainer and personal chef to help you get toned, use Photoshop, offer absolutely nothing of substance to the world.

More here:
Kourtney Kardashian Gets Her Bikini Body Back… Again!

Kourtney Kardashian: Thinner, Airbrushed

Kourtney Kardashian was more than happy to show off her curvy pregnancy body. Now she’s more than happy to show off her “new” body without it. Anything for a nice paycheck, right? Just three months after the birth of her son, Mason Dash Disick, the new mom graces the cover of Life & Style to reveal her sexy, slimmed-down look. In a riveting article, Kourtney Kardashian gives readers the scoop on how she managed to get back in shape so fast and tell all that weight to stay off! We’re guessing having the kid helped. Not that this was enhanced by Photoshop at all. Come to think of it, she’ll probably make headlines Friday calling them out for Photoshopping her. HOW SHE LOST 33 POUNDS : Giving birth will do that .

See the article here:
Kourtney Kardashian: Thinner, Airbrushed