Tag Archives: like-pretending

Barbara Palvin’s Victoria’s Secret 2013 Work of the Day

Barbara Palvin isn’t all that hot, I mean she’s 19 and half naked, what 19 an half naked chick do you know wouldn’t be worthy of jerking off to, especially if you’ve committed your life to one woman who is pushing 50 and all you’ve seen is the neglect that she’s had for herself all these years…cellulite ridden and loose stomached…blaming you for it and guilting you for it…cuz she had your kids for you and now you owe her….even though you know if it wasn’t you, it’d be some other asshole, and you wish it was, so you could be free to spend your 60,000 dollars a year seducing 19 year olds who are happy getting a free Subway sandwich on a date, rather than the 21 year olds who know how to take a dude for a ride…. The only moment of peace you have is when you get to stare at your daughter’s friends in their bikinis… Now I may be confused how this Palvin went from Hungarian to top model, when normally there are a few human trafficking stops in between, but I’ll post her Victoria’s Secret 2013 work anyway, cuz she’s half naked and 19 and that’s good enough for me.

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Barbara Palvin’s Victoria’s Secret 2013 Work of the Day

Mariah Carey’s Being Patriotic of Macy’s

I would like someone to photoshop a dick in where the MIC is….because her facial expression is one I like pretending she’s making before taking a load on her face from some record exec who was in his 60s and owned Sony music who she married back when talent wasn’t enough to get famous. I’m not interested in any of that Nick Cannon shit, so make the dick white and Jewish, like she pretended to like when she was coming up… And while you do that, I’ll watch this video of her Popped Dress Almost Gives Me Boners…of the Day To see more of her being patriotic for Macy’s CLICK HERE

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Mariah Carey’s Being Patriotic of Macy’s

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Paula Patton Flosses That Baaaaawdy For Jezebel Magazine, Says Her Career Is Pure Luck

As the promo-hoeing for Mission Impossible continues, Paula Patton makes an appearance as Jezebel Magazine’s latest cover girl. In addition to smiling pretty and posing sexy for the camera, Paula drops all kinds of cutesy one-liners that make us low-key hater her for the fact that she’s so effin sweet and pretty and likeable. Things like: “I got lucky,” she admits with a smile, “I feel like everything has been that way since I made the decision [to start acting]: pure luck.” She still pinches herself every time she is on her way to set because, as she says, she can’t believe this career is happening for her. But she still believes that her luck is a reward for trusting herself and her instincts. “I like pretending to be somebody else.” Ugh. Flip through for more…

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For Your Viewing Pleasure: Paula Patton Flosses That Baaaaawdy For Jezebel Magazine, Says Her Career Is Pure Luck