Tag Archives: olympic mysteries

Do Female Figure Skaters’ Boobs Get Sore? [Olympic Mysteries]

Posted on February 26, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Olympic women spun, leaped, and flying cameled their way to the figure skating podium last night, but with all those plunging backs and necklines (not to mention visible nipples) all I could think was, Where does the bra go? Not to be a total perv, but look at these costumes. Illusion netting may cover a multitude of sins, but I’m pretty sure these ladies are not wearing bras. If there’s some sort of slipped-down-the-front floating-cup situation going on, rest assured it is not of the heavy duty sports bra variety that even a casual jogger would be a fool to go without. After all that jumping and contorting at high speeds, shouldn’t their boobs be sore? Point : Braless running down stairs is enough to make a mortal woman cringe. This is clearly more rigorous. Counterpoint : They regularly crash into hard surfaces at 30mph. They can probably handle a little pain. Point : Did you see Mao Asada ‘s triple axel? Counterpoint : They’re only on the ice for four minutes at a time. Point : With all those cut-outs, there isn’t even room for built-in reinforcement. Counterpoint : Those bodies aren’t exactly the type that gets floppy. Counterpoint : Centripetal force is on their side during spins. Point : Oh no. Why is Miki Ando ‘s top pointing at her nipples like that? Counterpoint : It’s the Olympics, so suck it up. Besides, did you see Cynthia Phaneuf ‘s earrings? She’s probably too busy worrying about tearing an earlobe to give her breasts a second thought.

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Do Female Figure Skaters’ Boobs Get Sore? [Olympic Mysteries]

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Is the Internet Ruining the Olympics? [Olympic Mysteries]

Posted on February 25, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Watching the silly drama unfold yesterday about disappointed skier Julia Mancuso ‘s mean Tweets about teammate Lindsey Vonn , I started considering how the internet has played a part in these Hotlympics. And I don’t like it! Obviously Gawker has been giving you the Best Olympics Coverage On the Internet , so the ol’ series of tubes has definitely proved good for something these past two weeks. But otherwise? It’s mostly doing damage. Are we surprised that two athletes who have competed with each other since childhood are not always the best of friends? We really shouldn’t be. But then Mancuso uses a bad word in a Tweet while discussing yesterday’s flagged Giant Slalom run (caused by Vonn crashing) and everyone gets allll posty about how there’s Fightz! going on among the ranks of the women skiers. And everyone picks it up, because who doesn’t like two pretty girls fighting and splattering sexy mud all over our beautiful, kind global celebration . Frustratingly, the athletes can get all caught up in it too, and the whole gross, dumb thing keeps getting frothier and frothier. Or attend the tale of poor Scotty Lago, the dudebro snowboarder (is there any other kind?) who became be-scandal’d and was told to go home because of sexxxy photos he took in the Olympic Village. To be fair, it is quite shocking that a 22-year-old kid who just won an Olympic medal in Baggy-Pant Spinning would be gallivanting around Athlete Disneyworld flirting and trying to pull a little tail. And because of The Internet, TMZ can run some candid snaps of such behavior and Vancouver tells him to go home. Lest we fans start to suspect that the Olympians might be doing bad sex things ! And of course the internet is also giving us those cruel, horrible spoilers. Right on the front pages of the New York Times or, more mind-bogglingly, NBC.com. I am fine with the fact that time is what it is and the work day is too, so I can’t really watch everything when it’s happening. Say what you will about NBC’s Americans First, Questions Never airing practices, but an 8pm block is, I suspect, still the most sensible way for us to watch the games. Yet the internet doesn’t respect our personal wishes and splashes this spoiler shit everywhere they can. “Why are Bode Miller’s race results on LARPer.com??,” I think desperately to myself when scanning my favorite websites. It’s just a shame. Obviously the internet has done some good things for us during these Olympics (two thumbs), but for the most part I think we’d all be better off without all the peripheral noise it creates. That said, if the web can dig up anything about, oh say, just off the top of my head, some sort of Joubert/Weir hate-sex scandal or something, I think some of us could take an academic interest in that. As always, pics via Getty

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How the American Lady Skaters Could Kill the Olympics

Posted on February 24, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

# olympicmysteries During last night’s short program, Tom Hammond noted that an American woman has made the figure skating podium every Olympics since Peggy Fleming. This year, that streak might be broken. That sort of ruins the Olympics, doesn’t it? More

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Family Guy Actress with Down Syndrome’s Sarah Palin Smackdown Too Hot for NYT

Posted on February 21, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

The latest twist in the important controversy of Family Guy making fun of Trig Palin: An actress with Down syndrome said Sarah Palin “does not have a sense of humor.” She was in the offending episode. Updated with more zing! Andrea Fay Friedman played the girl with Down syndrome Chris dated in the episode. (Her IMDB says she’s been on Saving Grace , Law & Order: SVU and 7th Heaven among other shows.) She was the one who said the fateful line which incurred Sarah Palin’s facebook-based ire : “My dad’s an accountant, and my mom’s the former governor of Alaska.” (Gawker.tv has got the clip .) And she has something to say to no-fun Sarah Palin, which she said in an email to the New York Times . However! It appears that what the Times printed was just the nice portion of a much meaner email Friedman sent out to various media outlets. The blog Palingates has published the uncensored email: I guess former Governor Palin does not have a sense of humor. I thought the line “I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska” was very funny. I think the word is “sarcasm.” In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life. My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes. (Emphasis mine.) How does one say in English… “Zing?” The Times , however, stops at “my parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.” They must have done the calculations and figured that being able to interview Sarah Palin in the future was worth more than printing Friedman’s awesome email in full. How mainstream media. It’s too bad, because the best part about Friedman’s response was also the point—such as there was one—of the Family Guy gag: Palin used Trig so blatantly as a campaign tool, and positions herself so squarely as the voice of the disabled community (see: “death panels”), that of course the one person with Down syndrome to appear in the Family Guy episode would be related to her. We can think of many, many well-meaning but possibly ‘edgy’ jokes to make right now. But we’re watching the Olympics and don’t feel like reading a bunch of pissed-off comments from people who would, like Sarah Palin, take these jokes the wrong way. So, let’s just say: Excellent work, Andrea Fay Friedman. Stop being so wimpy, New York Times . And: U-S-A! U-S-A!

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Is the Most Interesting Event at the Olympics Already Over?

Posted on February 21, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Oh last night was a corker. The girls snowboarded and Julia Mancuso continued her silver rush, but mostly men twirled around on ice and we all clapped and swooned. Now that it’s over, we’re worried. Was it the best event? Because male figure skating is inherently the most ridiculous sport at the games — ohhh gender norms blahblah be damned, it’s true — it always has the potential to be resoundingly silly, and thus fun. But most years we don’t have huge American competitors and it’s all just a bunch of weirdo Russkies and our eyes do not stay glued for long. But this year! We had Lysacek and his glorious counterpart Johnny Weir , who probably wasn’t going to medal but darned if he didn’t make a good case for one last night, and plus all these surprisingly attractive competitors from elsewhere. It was a big, deep field with American favorites and storied rivalries. Put that together with Black Swan costumes and Cypress Hill songs and you’ve got an Olympic event for the ages. And now it’s done. 🙁 This is the first Olympics in a long while where the announcers haven’t spent a lopsided amount of time plugging the women’s skate during the men’s, and that’s mostly because there aren’t any American front runners among the ladies, and no big personalities from anywhere else, really. So for the drama this Olympic go-around, the men had it. Had, past tense. And we still have a whole week of competition left! What’re we going to do? Well, we’re going to gawp, horrified, at incestuous ice dancers . Yes, brother/sister ice dancing teams. That really puts the deaky in freaky. If only ice dancing wasn’t so stultifyingly boring. And sure there’s still some Alpine skiing left and Apolo Ohno has more dizzy circles to make, but this year the graceful guys of the lady-owned ice seemed to sparkle the brightest, and with the grand story sung to a close last night — the Dark Lord of America won, causing both joy and disappointment — the Olympic flame has flickered and waned, just a bit.

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