Don’t get me wrong, I love Alessandra Ambrosio as much as the next pervert with a working set of eyes. But here she is barely trying during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in Berlin, and if Alessandra wants to stay my MILF of the Year for the fifth year running, I’m going to need a little more effort than this. Like, say, another wardrobe malfunction , or topless photoshoot , or even just a trip to the beach with the paparazzi and their zoom lenses. I really don’t think I’m asking for too much here. Photos: WENN.com
I’ve got some good news: according to her Instagram, Dakota Fanning , aka my second-favorite pasty hottie after Emma Roberts , finally took my advice and went out and got some sun with her friends. Unfortunately, she didn’t invite me along as her personal suntan lotion applier like I’d originally hoped, but hey, there’s always next time. Enjoy.
The only thing less attractive than seeing a mom in her bikini, is seeing a grandmother in her bikini, not that I wouldn’t want to fuck a mom and a grandmother and a daughter in their bikinis all at the same time, but individually, they aren’t that impressive, even when they are Jessica Alba, in her bullshit fake marriage that she used her uterus to trap and make happen, leading a a miserable husband who she probably lets fuck other girls, because the tightness in her vagina disappeared with child birth, and because they are from LA and no one in LA is monogamous…not even with Jessica Alba because there are hundreds of girls in LA way better looking, who are younger and down to fuck knowing you’re Alba’s husband…it’s just the way it is….but I’l still look at her in a bikini and not hate her for being half naked, but rather hate her for being so fucking boring… That’s not to say I wouldn’t stepfather her kids, cuz I totally would..but it is to say that she’s not spreading her asshole…which is what makes it fun…
Kate Moss is one of the sexiest British models of all-time in our opinion and here she is giving her cute tits some sun while on the yacht in these paparazzi pictures Continue reading →
