Tag Archives: tortured-life

THG Presents: The Year in Absurd Tabloid Covers!

Celebrity gossip can be sensationalist and seedy without being absurd. Many Tiger Woods-related covers were, at least in part, based upon shocking fact and fueled by the scandal itself, rather than trying to start a scandal. For a tabloid to be truly absurd in THG’s eyes, it must be old news, not news, intentionally misleading, libelous, untrue or some combination thereof. READ ALL ABOUT IT: A shocking Britney Spears story may land Star in a heap of trouble, while tearing Angelina Jolie to shreds is standard, anonymous fare. Some of these will never be rivaled. Others will likely be repeated by the end of January. Some are unintentionally funny, others just plain slander. Here’s a look at some of the year’s most ridiculous tabloid covers …

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THG Presents: The Year in Absurd Tabloid Covers!

Katie Holmes: There is NO ESCAPE!

This is one of our favorite recycled stories in Hollywood. If you’ve got nothin’ some week and you’ve got magazines to print, this one’s in the ol’ “In Case of Emergency, Break Open Celebrity Gossip Glass” Vault. For Star , this moment came for the second time in under two months. In early March, they ran an “expose” on Katie Holmes being held against her will . This week, it’s about her “tortured life” and why “she can never leave Tom.” Why can’t she? We haven’t read the full made-up story, but we have theories: She actually loves family life with Tom and Suri Cruise . Money. Yup, that about covers it. We look forward to reading the June edition, guys. Keep up the good work … and look how miserable she looks in this old pic! THERE IS NO ESCAPE : The clutches of Tom Cruise? Unbreakable . To illustrate the hilarity of how frequently and blatantly the tabloids run with this one, click to enlarge past renditions of this classic gossip fable (although sometimes they decide to mix things up and make her pregnant instead):

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Katie Holmes: There is NO ESCAPE!