You know that feeling. You see a boy in your Chemistry class. Your eyes get all glazed over. You have a hard time putting words together. Your heart does that thing where it drops to your stomach. And then, after careful, calculated planning, you kiss and the earth crumbles beneath you. Usher knows that feeling… Read more
Dear Bossip , We met through my cousin about a year ago. We clicked immediately, and the chemistry was over whelming. I was single and he said he didn’t have a girlfriend. So, we dated for about a month and everything was perfect. Then, one Sunday, a chick shows up at his house — THE GIRLFRIEND. He apologized for lying to me. He said he lied because he was no longer in love with her, and he just didn’t know how to break up with her. But, he broke up with her that evening. So, things got back on track. We got very close, and we were in a relationship. I was introduced to his friends and vice-versa he met mine. Eight Months down the line he tells me he can’t take it to the next level because his not ready to be a step dad. I have a child and he doesn’t. He said he can’t take the relationship to the next level because his parents will disapprove and he wants to settle down, but he’s not sure if his ready to settle down with someone with a kid. I was hurt because he waited 8 months to tell me this. We broke it off. A week later we got back together. I don’t know why I did that but I did. I loved him too much. We continued dating, even though he still showed no interest in getting to know my little one. I hung on hoping our love was strong enough to overcome this, and that he would come around, which he didn’t. He gave me so much love and attention, but, he just was not showing any interest in getting to know my daughter. I was hopeful because I didn’t want another failed relationship so I hung on. Then, one day he asked me to check something on his Facebook page. I went to his inbox, and then BOOM! He is seeing someone else who is childless. I confronted him about this. He didn’t deny it. He admitted that he’d been seeing her and she asked him out and he fell for it. And, yes he was falling for her. She is educated and young and childless. So, I said what’s going to happen to us? He said he loves me and he’s not about to let me go, and he wants to settle down and he’s trying her out. So, I told him I will not share him. I broke it off. We share mutual friends and we were both invited to a Braai. He came with her. I was heartbroken nonetheless. I couldn’t show him I was hurting. I carried on having a great time and he texted me during the Braai while he was with her telling me how great I looked. I texted back and said, “Thanks, she looks great too.” He asked if we could talk outside and I went to talk to him. He told me that he loved me still and he can’t seem to forget about me. He said he can’t stop thinking about me, and we kissed. We left together and he left her there. We had sex, and months later I learned I was pregnant. He said we couldn’t keep it. I agreed. I aborted the child. He was very supportive, took me to counseling, and spent all this time with me to make sure I got back on my feet. He suggested I enroll part-time in school so I can get my degree as I’m working a fairly good job. I just don’t have any form of education. He’s paying for it. But, he is still with her. He says he loves me and wants me in his life, but he just can’t marry someone with a child. Do I walk away or stick around? He’s 28-years old, and I’m hoping that maybe in time he will embrace the situation because we keep breaking up, but we end up getting back together somehow. We are like best friends. He even says that he’s never had a relationship where he felt so close with someone on that level where he can talk about absolute anything. We are into the same things, and we perfect together. – He Won’t Accept My Child Dear Ms. He Won’t Accept My Child , Sigh! Rejection is a bish! Honestly, there is nothing I will tell you, say to you, or recommend in which you will listen or take heed because you are too wrapped up into him. You are strung out, and unfortunately there is no rehab or treatment to help you from, “penisamilization.” See, being addicted to penisamilization will make you lose all your thinking and mental faculties, and you will make irrational judgments and decisions. You are unable to decipher between right and wrong, or good and evil. You neglect your loved ones, and will put yourself in harm’s way, (including having unprotected sex, aborting a child he doesn’t want, and neglecting your own child), despite the alarming red signals, signs, and treatment from the man behind penisamilization. You are willing to continue pursuing a relationship with a man who has told you repeatedly that he is not interested in being with someone who has a child. He has made no effort in getting to know your child, refuses to meet her, and he was so adamant about it that he went out and found another woman who was childless and began dating her. He didn’t tell you about her, however, he instructed you to his Facebook page to make the big reveal. WOW! WOW! WOW! But, let’s look at this man’s pattern with you. One month into dating him, he lied about being in a relationship, and it wasn’t until his girlfriend popped up at his house that you learned about her. Yet, you continued to sleep with him, hoping for a relationship with him. SMDH! Months later, he tells you that he can’t take your relationship to the next level because he doesn’t want to be with someone who has a child. He didn’t tell you this upfront, but waited months later to tell you this. Therefore, he manipulated you, lied to you, and led you to believe that you were moving toward a serious relationship when in actuality he was simply using you. As he was when you first started dating. Yet, you continued dating him, hanging on, hoping he would change his mind. SMDH! Then, he tells you to check his Facebook page where he announces that he is in another relationship with another woman, and she is childless, but, he loves you and is trying her out to see where it goes. Trying her out? Trying her out! This man had the gall and nerve to say that he loves you, wants to be with you, yet, he is trying out another woman? Girl, I can’t with you! This man is never honest and upfront with you. He lies about everything. He plays you, and makes you look like a fool. He knows you lack self-esteem because you keep taking him back, and remain hopeful of something he’s told you time and time again: He doesn’t want a relationship with you, and will not take it to the next level with you because he doesn’t want a woman with a child. Yet, you stick around, continuing to open your legs, and let him run up in you raw. Penisamilization is a helluva addiction. Yet, it gets better. You meet up at a gathering, and he shows up with her, but he leaves with you and he leaves her there? If he will come to an event with another woman, yet, leave with you, then this is indicative of his behavior in how he treats women. He uses women for his own disposal, plays with your emotions and feelings (refer back to his girlfriend he had while dating you, and now he is dating another woman and didn’t tell you upfront, nor did he tell her about you). Yet, you make yourself accessible to him because you want to prove how loyal you are. Honestly, you left with him and felt happy because for once he chose you, instead of rejecting you. And, this validated you, and made you feel good about yourself. Unfortunately, you felt you were getting over on the other woman because he left with you. He chose you. SMDH! Weak-minded, delusional and insecure women like you are easily manipulated and men will continue to take advantage of you. Then, you have sex with him, and months later discover you’re pregnant. He tells you to abort the baby, and you do because you agree with him? How can you awake each day and look at yourself and think you are remotely intelligent, smart, or have any type of common sense, and call yourself a woman and mother? Penisamilization is real people. It will have you doing ignorant, dumb, stupid –ish like this woman all in the efforts of attempting and hoping to keep a man. His game is so tight and pimped out, that he has led you to believe the lie you tell yourself every day you awake that one day he will come to his senses and accept your child, and that you will live happily ever after. IT WON’T HAPPEN. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. You are, and forever will be a side piece. His side chick. You are reserved p***y. You are his backup plan, his dumb down, basic chick who will never ever be the main chick. Do you realize that every woman he meets who is childless, has a career, and educated is his come up from you? They are constant reminders that he can do better than you. And, he will always throw it up in your face and remind you of the fact that you have a child. And, every time he introduces you to the new women in his life, he will point out that you have a child, you are uneducated, you have a basic job, and your life is basic. He’s already told you that his parents will disapprove of him having a relationship with a woman with a child. And, though he wants to settle down, he’s told you that he doesn’t want to settle down with you. Therefore, what are you hoping and waiting around for? What exactly do you think will happen or change his mind about this fact? The man made you abort a child because he knew it would trap him and you will forever be tied to him. He doesn’t love you. He despises you. He despises your child. Ma’am, he doesn’t want to meet your child, and refuses to meet your child (Rejection). And, you continue to choose this man over your child. Every time you lay with him, having unprotected sex knowing he is sleeping with other women, and he has a full-on relationship with another woman, yet, he won’t leave her and told you that he is not leaving her, however, he won’t settle down with you because you have a child, and that is something he doesn’t want (Rejection). Do you realize that every time he rejects you and your daughter, and you keep hoping, wishing, praying, and desiring for him to choose you, however, you are choosing him over your own child? You are neglecting the well-being of your own child for your own selfish desires, wants, and needs. Regardless of having a man in your life who will love you and your child, embrace your child, and desire to be with you and love your child equally, you are running after a man who neglects your child, which ultimately is a rejection of you because she is a part of you. Therefore, I have nothing to tell you, or say to you because a woman who will allow a man to reject her child, a part of her, and will continue to pursue him despite the constant rejection, then, you are not a woman at all. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Things are getting heated on the Fifty Shades of Grey set, and we’re not talking about Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson naked and slapping bodies. Unfortunately. Amid rumors that the movie may be watered down to lure in a younger audience (and earn a higher box office gross) comes reports of more tension on set. Fifty Shades of Grey: Rated PG-13?! E.L. James and the film’s director Sam Taylor-Johnson aren’t exactly seeing eye to eye, insiders say, with the latter becoming irritated by the former’s input. It all comes down to the sex, says a source of the two butting heads : “E.L. James wants the movie to match the book exactly, but Sam has a different perspective. Sam is reminding E.L. she writes books and she makes movies.” Some say this confrontation was bound to happen sooner or later. As the director, Taylor-Johnson has to think about the bigger picture in terms of not only her vision, but how the final product will deliver for the studio. If that means earning a rating that will allow a wider audience to see it, then it’s going to be an option. If fans revolt, it might be a bad option … but it’ll be discussed. It’s also a fine line to walk. Clearly, Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson have the chemistry and are ready to go all in, and the book became such a hit because of its racy content. Being 100 percent true to the book would be an eyefull. It might not translate to the screen, though, when it comes to delivering a box office blockbuster. Can the two meet in the middle and reach a dual vision by February 13, 2015 (the Fifty Shades release date)? We will find out. In the meantime, vote: Would you watch a tamer, PG-13 Fifty Shades of Grey? Yes! It’s all about Christian and Ana’s journey! No! No boning, no ticket! View Poll »
#MusicMonday has come a few hours early. For the second consecutive week, Justin Bieber has released a new track for fans, this time unveiling “All That Matters” via VEVO along with the Twitter message: “Are you counting down with me to Midnight for the new #MusicMonday – #AllThatMatters ?” Listen to the single now: Justin Bieber – “All That Matters” ”You make me complete/You’re all that matters to me,” Bieber sings on the new song, perhaps with Selena Gomez in mind. “I’m grateful for your existence/Faithful no matter the distance.” Last Sunday, JB dropped ” Heartbreaker ” on the public. Which track do you like better?
On the same weekend that Lauren Conrad got engaged to William Tell, her ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler has one-upped her by marrying Ashley Stack! The former Laguna Beach star married the model Saturday. The couple wed in front of family and friends at the Calamigos Ranch in Malibu, Calif. After proposing to Slack last November, Jason Wahler , 26, made it official on Instagram, sharing a picture of his then fiancee’s big diamond sparkler. J-Dubs’ caption? A simple, declarative “Love you babe!” Wahler, who had been previously engaged to USC tennis star Katja Decker-Sadowski, is likely best known as Lauren Conrad’s first serious boyfriend. He also drank a lot and got arrested a ton in his heyday. Glad that’s behind him. Congrats to the happy couple on the big wedding news , and to LC and William in what is a banner weekend for Hills alumni!
Following the shocking news that Christian Grey will be recast in the forthcoming Fifty Shades of Grey movie, will producers soon be looking for a new Ana as well? Charlie Hunnam is out the project before it even began, citing scheduling conflicts. It’s unclear what new conflicts could have arisen in the last month, however. Unofficially, The Hollywood Reporter claims Charlie was actually intimidated by the amount of negative attention his casting received, and he got cold feet. Whatever the reason, Hunnam’s exit leaves his would-be co-star, Dakota Johnson, on shaky ground, with some fans calling for her to be replaced too. Dakota was a fresh face that Focus and Universal loved, but one of the biggest reasons she was cast was because of her chemistry with Charlie. Fifty Shades of Grey is a love story (or mommy porn, depending who you ask), but either way, Christian Grey is the key figure to the studio and fans. The fan base for the 50 Shades books/ film is primarily female, and may well have played a role – directly or indirectly – in Hunnam’s abrupt exit. Will his replacement be tested for chemistry with Dakota? Or is she potentially at risk of being replaced based on their new leading man’s identity? Vote in our polls below and tell us what you think of Charlie Hunnam’s exit and whether you think Dakota Johnson should stay on board the project: Should Dakota Johnson also be replaced in Fifty Shades of Grey? Yes! Time to start over! No! She got the part for a reason! View Poll » If so, who should star in her place as Anastasia Steele? Mila Kunis Lily Collins Nina Dobrev Alexis Bledel Shailene Woodley Lucy Hale Minka Kelly Allison Williams Emma Watson Ashley Benson Emilia Clarke Riley Keough Other (Cite in Comments) View Poll » With Charlie Hunnam out, who should play Christian? Ian Somerhalder Alex Pettyfer Stephen Amell Matt Bomer Ryan Gosling Ryan Phillippe Alexander Skarsgard Henry Cavill Chris Evans Tom Hardy Chris Pine Garrett Hedlund Other (Cite in Comments) View Poll »
Good news, Divergent fans! We’ve got a fourth look at First! Er, no, a first look at Four. Let’s just average it out and call it a second look at Two. Check out this new still of Theo James as Four from Divergent : Shailene Woodley stars in the adaptation of the young adult novel from Veronica Roth. The film takes place in a futuristic society that is divided into five factions, with Woodley as Tris Prior, a girl who doesn’t belong to any one faction. Ansel Elgort, Ray Stevenson, Kate Winslet, Zoe Kravitz, Ben Lloyd-Hughes, Jai Courtney, Ashley Judd, Mekhi Phifer, and Miles Teller also star. Neil Burger directs the film, which will premiere March 21, 2014.
Rachel Uchitel is single again! Tiger Woods’ #1 mistress is getting divorced after her husband, Matt Hahn, filed the paperwork earlier today. Matt’s reason? “Cruel and inhumane treatment.” Seriously. He put that. The troubled couple frequently engaged in explosive, verbal arguments; Matt alleges that Rachel Uchitel slapped him after he repeatedly called her names. There’s more. Rachel called 911 on Matt on May 16 after a particularly nasty verbal argument, asking officials for help getting him out of the house. She did not follow up with police or press charges after the situation was resolved; they didn’t officially separate until today, over three weeks later. Uchitel has not responded to the divorce filing . Rachel and Matt Hahn, a former Penn State football player, were married a year-and-a-half ago. They got together after her flings with Tiger and David Boreanaz . Uchitel welcomed their first child, a daughter, last year.
It’s Game On for the men of The Bachelorette season 9. Tonight they’ll compete for Desiree Hartsock ‘s affections over a rousing game of dodge ball. And one of them will get a special visitor. Who will survive tonight’s Rose Ceremony? Read our THG +/- recap now to find out! (Or just skip straight to The Bachelorette spoilers .) Chris Harrison shows up at Casa de Testosterone to say there will be three dates this week: Two group dates and one one-on-one date. There’s still a lot of tension with Ben. So Bension? Minus 4 (for my terrible joke). Chris, Brian, Drew, Michael, Brooks, Brad, Mikey, Brandon, Zack K., and Ben are invited on the first group date. None of them are impressed to be sharing a limo with Ben. They’ll be playing Dodgeball today. Here to school them in the ways of dodging and balling is a team from the National Dodgeball League. Which is apparently a thing. After the guys get initiated, and by initiated I mean pummeled, Chris shows up to divide the men into two teams. Only one team will move on to the second part of the date with Desiree. The other 5 will be returning to Casa de Testosterone. They’ll battle it out for the rest of the date in front of an audience of bystanders at an outdoor shopping mall who have no doubt been recruited for the express purpose of watching them throw balls at one another. Also, men. Throwing balls. I might be 12. The guys are given tiny shorts and tank tops and they’re taking it all in stride. Plus 8 . The red team is in it to win it. The blue team got Ben. They might turn on him. He should watch his back. Chris and Drew are the final men standing for their respective teams in Round One. Drew manages to best Chris and Round One goes to the Blue Team. Round Two, however, goes to the Red Team thanks to Brandon . At the beginning of Round Three, Brooks takes a weird spill at the ball line and can’t get up. His finger is broken and he heads to the hospital to have it reset. But the game must go on and the Red Team vows to win it for their boy Brooks. Chris and Zack are the final men standing and Zack puts Chris out of his dodgeball misery. The Blue Team gets to go on the rest of the date with Desiree. The Red Team gets to go home and ice Brooks’ finger. JUST KIDDING. Desiree declares them all winners so they’re all going to the after party . Plus 10. Except Brooks. Because he’s at the hospital. Minus 2. While Brooks is at the hospital having his finger reset, he passes out from the pain. But he’s still in his short-shorts and his tank top so I’m not really sure which is more embarrassing. Desiree makes a toast to Brooks and then asks Brad to visit the hotel rooftop with her. He needs to tell her about his past, which sounds juicy. He drops the bomb that he has a 3 year old son, Maddox. He has full custody of his son and only came here because Desiree was the bachelorette. Plus 10 to him for not using his son as a ploy to get her attention during the opening ceremonies. Chris makes a bold move to garner Desiree’s attention and steals her away to a special spot in the hotel: the helicopter pad. Des is impressed. Plus 7 . After their tiny conversation, he thinks he might get the rose. But Brooks is back. In his short-shorts and tank top. Plus 25 . She whisks him away immediately and they end up making out. Because of course they do. I’m Team Brooks, by the way. So far at least. Chris gets the rose and they get a private concert. And Chris gets to kiss Desiree while the other guys watch from above and stew and appear on the verge of man tears. Chris is “ecstatic” and calls this “the greatest moment on this journey so far.” He feels lots and lots of “chemistry” with Des. So that’s what we’re calling it these days. It’s time for the one-on-one date and Desiree has scheduled her date with Kasey . But before she can go on that date, Chris Harrison calls her to give her some news. One of the guys is being dishonest. Dun dun dun… Minus 12 . Kasey’s ready to have their date but first she has to talk to Brian . She leads with “is there anything you want to tell me?” And he says he’s feeling very strongly for her. He tells her his past relationship was over a long time ago even if they only broke up a short time ago and in walks Chris Harrison with Brian’s “ex” girlfriend. Minus 15 . The guys are shocked! And angry! Some of them may be eyeballing her in case they’re sent home this week! Hey, baby, can I get your number?? This feels so fake! At least her tears do. When she flips the anger switch it feels real. And Brian just sits there kind of embarrassed and sheepish like a guy who’s been caught. Apparently, she has a son and he cares about her but she tried to break up with him and he said no, they just needed a break. And drama drama drama. Two nights before going to L.A. to find love with Des, Brian slept with his not-really ex-girlfriend. Who is apparently a little nuts and likes to throw actual rocks at his face. Des makes the decision to send the “lying, cheating, deceitful pig” packing immediately. Plus 8 . And another Plus 5 for the giant bouncer, Paulie. I’ll bet he’s really a big teddy bear. When Des tells the guys what just happened, the look between Michael and Brooks is priceless. Truly awesome. She gives the guys the opportunity to tell her anything they need to tell her and no one makes a move. She and Kasey head off on their date. Finally. Plus 10 . Sidenote: If I were taking a drink every time someone said “for the right reasons” or a variation thereof tonight, I’d be, well, incredibly drunk. Incredibly. So drunk this would be unintelligible. Brandon gets the man tears thinking about his life and how he grew up and how Brian cheated on a single mom. He’s, like, legit upset about this to the point that I wonder if he’s been hitting the sauce before breakfast. Desiree and Kasey are ready to have some fun on their date. And that fun involves rappelling down the side of a building while sky dancing. It’s called Bandaloop. Kasey says it feels like they’re sharing a moment no one else will share. Well, Kasey, that’s because you are. Minus 8 The rest of their date is supposed to be on the rooftop of the building they just danced down, but out of nowhere the wind picks up and there’s no way for them to have a conversation. So they jump into the pool. And freeze. And kiss. While the stuff on the roof blows down around them. Despite the disaster that was their date, she gives him a rose anyway. The disaster wasn’t his fault. Plus 9. Back at Casa de Testosterone, the guys headed on group date #2 load into a stagecoach to go meet Desiree. A stagecoach. With horses. A team of them. Okay, then. They’re taken to the scene of a western where Desiree is in a period costume from the Wild West. The guys will be going through Cowboy Bootcamp with the stunt team from the Disney movie The Lone Ranger . Plus 2 for mention of Johnny Depp!! The guys are all really great sports about learning to lasso and fight. I’m pretty sure they all knew how to quick draw their pistols before this, though. Ahem . Desiree plays the damsel in distress and the guys mount their horses. The one who rescues her best will get some extra time with Desiree later. Dan splits his pants. Zak makes her laugh. Juan Pablo uses his super powers of sex appeal and wins the competition. Plus 7 . And now we’re treated to a commercial for the upcoming flick. And also to a liplock between Desiree and Juan Pablo, which she calls “passionate.” Following their private viewing of The Lone Ranger , Desiree and Juan Pablo rejoin the rest of the guys. Bryden gets the time with Desiree first. He’s so delightfully awkward. Plus 3 . Zak W. pays her a great compliment when he says she’s a team player who makes everyone comfortable. They laugh really well together. Good, hearty belly-laughing from the two of them. Plus 5 . James is maybe more awkward than Bryden. He’s worried about his dad back home and his head isn’t all the way in the game. He asks her if she sees something more between the two of them and she gives him the rose to alleviate his worries. Plus 2 . Chris shows up at the house and says that tonight’s cocktail party has been canceled. Instead, Des wants to have a “relaxed, chill” pool party. Ben’s already up to his antics. Minus 15 . He sneaks out the door and grabs her as soon as she pulls up, enticing her to go for a drive before going in to see the other guys. He kisses her in plain view of the other guys and then tells her the car ride is “their little secret.” He’s so skeevy and she doesn’t see it. Minus 10 . Mikey and Chris set Ben up and he lies about spending time with Desiree before the pool party. He lies to Kasey and James, too. Minus 4 . Mikey and Michael call him out on it and he says he doesn’t kiss and tell. Then Michael says he can’t unscramble that egg and I decide that’s a line I’m going to use in real life from now on. Plus 3 for that. Brandon grabs her for some alone time and tells her about how hard it was to hear about Brian. Then he promises no man tears. And he promises never to hurt her or take her for granted. And that he’s falling in love with her. And then he kisses her. Finally! The Rose Ceremony! Brian is already out. James, Kasey, and Chris have roses from the dates. Joining them are: Bryden Juan Pablo Zak W. Brooks Drew Zack K. Brad Michael G. Mikey Ben Leaving tonight: Brandon Dan Maybe Brandon’s man tears were too much for her? Or his declaration of love? She tells him he’s an incredible person but just not the one for her. She goes after him and tells him it needed to be now instead of later. She didn’t feel the chemistry he felt. He’s so morose. Put him in one of those hook-up houses that’ll come out later this summer, okay? Brandon needs some love. Or lust. Whichever. EPISODE TOTAL: +44 SEASON TOTAL: +147
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