He might be the greatest basketball player that's ever walked the Earth, but these days, Michael Jordan is getting no respect. First, LeBron James takes his role in Space Jam 2 , now some smartass kid is going viral with an epic roast of His Airness' famous footwear. In case you're not up on what the teens are saying these days (Don't worry, we had to Google it ourselves.), “What are thooose?” is basically a way of saying someone is wearing ugly shoes. Jordan is almost as famous for his sneaker-shilling as for his time with the Bulls, so this kid basically just pulled off the off-court equivalent of posterizing someone with a tongue-wagging dunk. After someone translated for him, MJ kinda recovered with a response about how Vine sucks and he's rocking a pair of “29 Lows.” Frankly, we wish he would've responded along the lines of, “That's a good one! Now watch me buy your parents' house and kick you out of it. In the meantime, you wanna play some one-on-one in front of all these people?”
As a Florida man suspected of stealing a Mercedes Benz was about to be questioned, but he opted out of biting his tongue. Instead, he bit off the tips of his fingers to avoid being fingerprinted!! Kenzo Roberts was arrested Thursday when Lee County Sheriff’s Office deputies happened upon a 2015 Mercedes that had been reported stolen. Investigators discovered that 20-year-old Roberts was using a fake ID and carrying a concealed firearm. He also had three fraudulent credit cards in his possession. But the most alarming part of the arrest was when Roberts began chewing off his fingerprints so he couldn't be fingerprinted. The disturbing act was caught on a surveillance camera as he chewed off his fingertips and swallowed the flesh. He also rubbed his hands against a cage in the back. Roberts' attempt to fool the officers was unsuccessful. Officers were able to fingerprint him anyway. And his prints revealed that he had two felony warrants that were linked to an aggravated assault with a deadly weapon charge. The Orlando Sentinel reported that he was arrested on three counts of possession of a counterfeit credit card; grand theft auto; possession of a concealed firearm; possession of similitude of a driver’s license; driving with a suspended license; and giving false identification to law enforcement. According to officers, Roberts is illegally residing in the US, and Border Patrol has been contacted.
Florida Man Tries To Chew Off Finger Prints Inside Police Patrol Car Desperate times call for desperate measures… Via USAToday A Florida man attempted to chew off his fingerprints while in a patrol car to avoid being identified by the police. On Thursday, Lee County Sheriff detectives noticed a 2015 Mercedes that had been reported stolen and after stopping the vehicle, they found the driver, Kenzo Roberts, was using a fake ID, had a concealed firearm and possessed three fraudulent credit cards. Surveillance video shows Roberts unsuccessfully trying to bite off his own fingerprints while in the backseat of the patrol car. Lee County Sheriff officials say Roberts has two felony warrants for his arrest for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Sir… Image via YouTube
You might have to put on sunglasses to protect your eyes from the glare coming off Emma Roberts ‘ pasty white stems in these shots, but trust me, it’s worth it. Because for all the times we’ve seen Emma rocking a pair of a short shorts over the years, I don’t think we’ve ever seen her go this short. I just don’t understand how she could be showing this much skin and not even get a little tan. She must be part blogger or something. Photos: PacificCoastNews Continue reading →
I’m not really sure what Emma Roberts is up to these days, besides avoiding the sun this summer, but everybody’s favorite pasty hottie went see-through out in LA the other night, and that’s always newsworthy as far as I’m concerned. Unfortunately though, she didn’t conveniently “forget” to wear a bra underneath, which would’ve made this an even bigger story. Clearly, Emma needs a new management team. And I’d be more than happy to volunteer. I’ve got a bunch of great ideas — granted, most of them involve sex tapes and bikini yoga, but hey, you go with what works, right? Call me! Photos: PacificCoastNews Continue reading →
At first, I thought it would be a pretty funny April Fools’ joke to post these pictures and tell you perverts Kylie Jenner had turned 18. But then I realized that if I did that I probably wouldn’t have any readers left, since I’m pretty sure they don’t allow you to use the Internet from jail. So to reiterate: Kylie is still 17 for another few months, and let’s all just move it along until then. » view all 13 photos Photos: WENN.com
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