Tag Archives: donald

Vanessa Trump to Donald Trump Jr.: Your Dad is Retarded!

Well, folks, it looks like love is well and truly dead. You might object that your own marriage is still thriving, or you witnessed an act of kindness that inspired hope this morning, but we’re here to tell you it’s all over. After all, if these crazy kids can’t make it work, what hope do the rest of us have? Yes, back in late 2017,  Donald Trump Jr. filed for divorce from his wife of 13 years, Vanessa Trump. Obviously, this was a shameful scandal for his family to endure. You see, Don Jr. is 41, and this is his first divorce! The shame! Junior moved on quickly, of course — these days he’s dating Kimberly Guilfoyle of Fox News fame. In fact, there have been reports that Trump and Guilfoyle are engaged ! That may be why DTJ is suddenly in a big hurry to finalize his divorce. Whatever the case, Don Jr. and Vanessa issued a statement today revealing that their marriage is officially a thing of the past. “We finalized our agreement at the end of last year,” the couple revealed. “We are incredibly lucky to have five amazing children and are committed to raising them together. Our kids and their happiness will always be our first priority.” The sad news involving Don and Vanessa’s split has prompted many to recall the manner in which the couple first met. Vanity Fair even republished an interview in which Vanessa recalled that she and Don Jr. met several times before either rememebered the other: “We talked for an hour,” she recalled. “Then suddenly, something clicked: Wait, you were at that fashion show. Wait, you’re . . . “the one with the retarded dad!” Make of that story what you will. Insiders have floated numerous possible causes for the couple’s decision to split. Apparently, Vanessa thought that Don Jr. was cheap, and she really wasn’t a fan of his decision to have an affair with Aubrey O’Day . Or at the very least, she wishes said affair had remained a secret from the public. It was right around the time O’Day decided to start talking about the affair that Vanessa began getting antsy in her marriage. Of course, in all likelihood, Don Jr. was never gonna be able to keep her satisfied in the long term. This is a woman who once cheated on her gang-banger boyfriend with Leonardo DiCaprio . She needs excitement, not some chinless dweeb angrily hammering out reply tweets on his Blackberry. Speaking of tweets, based on DTJ’s latest communique, it seems all is well in Trump Town. “Hilarious watching Ds scramble as their precious COLLUSION! narrative dies a slow, painful (hilarious) death. Meanwhile Trump is working to denuclearize the Korean Peninsula & keep our economy humming,” Don Jr. wrote today. “DC Dems could join in & #MAGA, but they hate Trump more than they love America Is it just us, or is it weird that he calls his dad Trump? We’re not sure what else he should call him but … Trump? That’s weird, right? View Slideshow: Stormy Daniels Compares Donald Trump’s “Unusual Penis” to Video Game Character

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Vanessa Trump to Donald Trump Jr.: Your Dad is Retarded!

Hate It Or Love It?! Donald Glover Poured Some Bleach On His Beard And Fans Are Cloroxically Confused

Source: Johnny Nunez / Getty Donald Glover Is Proudly Rocking A Newly Blond Beard Donald Glover is turning heads with his new look…and not everyone is loving whatever’s going on in the lower quadrant of his face. The multi-talented musician was spotted at frequent collaborator Ludwig Göransson’s pre-Grammy party on Friday night, where he debuted a brand new bleached beard. This change comes as a surprise to many not only because of just how different Glover looks with this new beard, but because he’s not really known to switch up his style much–especially when it comes to hair. Back in 2012–when Donald was in the thick of his role as Danny Pud on Community –he had a much shorter hairstyle, but in the nearly 7 years since, the man also known as Childish Gambino has been rocking the same locks. While he’s gone back and forth between growing and shaving a beard, that’s really the most we’ve seen Glover switch it up for nearly a decade, which is why this blond beard is so damn weird. That, and the fact that he dyed his beard in the first place. Though the consensus among fans isn’t completely one-sided, there’s a looot of people who really aren’t feeling it–and the comparisons are absolutely hilarious. Spencer Pratt anyone? Donald Glover's facial hair reminds me of Spencer Pratt's flesh-coloured beard pic.twitter.com/PBxYJrkNPf — Hanna Ines Flint (@HannaFlint) February 8, 2019 honestly nothin broke me like donald glover‘s ugly ass beard he was the one man i thought i could trust pic.twitter.com/CMBynaCAPa — luce pussy (@DANNYDEVlTHOE) February 9, 2019 what did donald glover to his beard i'm so lost like what was the point — adriana 22 (@chIorine) February 8, 2019   But some other fans are ready to bleach their beards in solidarity. If Donald Glover bleaches his beard, I bleach my beard — Jonny Fausz (@jonathanfausz) February 9, 2019 dont talk shit about donald glover's bleached beard i will hunt u down —

Pure Comedy: Netflix Announces Trump-Trolling Series ‘Space Force’ Starring Hilarious Hominy-Hued Steve Carrell [Video]

Source: JIM WATSON/AFP/Getty Images/Paras Griffin/Getty Images / Getty Netlfix Announces New Series About Trump’s ‘Space Force’ Remember when Donald Trump announced his plan to expand the U.S. Armed Forces with the addition of the…Space Force? Well, Netflix has taken the opportunity to create high-level troll content out of 53% of white women’s president’s ridiculous form of leadership. We are SO here for this. How bout you? Continue reading

This Can’t Be Real, But It Is: The Internet Uncovers Footage Of Trump Urging People To Go “Up, Over, Under, Around” Concrete Walls [Video]

Source: The Washington Post / Getty The Daily Show Discovers Footage Of Donald Trump Talking About Avoiding Walls As the social media saying goes: “There’s one for everything”. For all the claims and blustery filibustering that he does, Donald Trump has a very special penchant for completely undercutting every single thing that he deems important to his political agenda. Over the course of his presidency, numerous past tweets have resurfaced of Donnie pounding the table in support of an idea, only to take a passionate and completely opposite stance today. Peep this video clip unearthed by The Daily Show: Well would you looky there… If you wanna find out exactly how unoriginal Donnie’s diabolic schemes are, flip the page.

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This Can’t Be Real, But It Is: The Internet Uncovers Footage Of Trump Urging People To Go “Up, Over, Under, Around” Concrete Walls [Video]

Truth In Jest? Celebrity-Apprentice-Employee-Turned-Comedian Noel Casler Claims Donald Trump Snorts Adderall [Video]

Source: The Washington Post / Getty Noel Casler Says Donald Trump Snorts Adderall Comedian Noel Casler was formerly a talent coordinator on Donald Trump’s show Celebrity Apprentice and he recently while performing on stage divulged a very heavy claim against 53% of white women’s president. “He’s a speed freak. He crushes up his Adderall and sniffs it because he can’t read.” Oh yeah, but there’s more. Press play below to hear it straight from the horses mouth. Yikes. You think orangey goes Twitter crazy over this?

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Truth In Jest? Celebrity-Apprentice-Employee-Turned-Comedian Noel Casler Claims Donald Trump Snorts Adderall [Video]

Jay Z & Beyonce to Kanye West: It’s Us or Trump!

In case you somehow weren’t aware, Kanye West is a card-carrying, red hat wearing, verbal vomit-spewing member of MAGA Nation. Outside of a Russian billionaire whose investment portfolio is made up entirely of coal mines, McDonald’s franchises, and XXS glove manufacturers, it’s impossible to imagine anyone who might love Donald Trump more than Kanye does. Yeezy’s outpourings of affection for the Donald have been relentless as of late, and not surprisingly, it seems members of his inner circle are growing bored of the routine. West’s wife, Kim Kardashian, has shown herself to have the patience of a freakin’ saint in dealing with her husband’s erratic behavior, but even she draws the line at dude saying slavery was “a choice.” But Kim has clearly made the decision to ride this one out and hope the old Kanye emerges from the Sunken Place sooner rather than later. The same can’t be said for Ye’s most high-profile friends. Yes, the friendship between Kanye, Jay Z and Beyonce has always been fraught with tension, and it seems that these days the Carters have decided that West simply isn’t worth it. “They are outraged over Kanye’s recent political rants,” a source close to the situation tells Radar Online. The insider went on to confirm that Bey and Jay feel the same about this situation as the rest of us: “They think Kanye is a disgrace and is only doing this for attention,” the source says. “Beyonce and Jay Z know that Kanye is seeing a future in politics, but they feel that they cannot associate themselves with them from this point forward. And apparently, Kim has been lumped in with Kanye in the Carters’ eyes: “They want nothing to do with either one of them,” says the insider. We suppose we’re a little sympathetic to Kim, but not very. After all, you can’t complain about the downsides of being married to an irate d-bag when you’re benefitting from the … well, we assume there must be some upside to being married to Kanye. View Slideshow: Kim Kardashian Reveals What Kanye Paid Her $1 Million NOT to Do

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Jay Z & Beyonce to Kanye West: It’s Us or Trump!

Scary: The Presidential Alert Test Has Twitter Imagining Gross Things Trump Could Send Us

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Source: Steve Sands / Getty This Halloween month, an idea was planted in people’s heads that struck terror in their hearts… Trump having access to their phones. The talk came about when it was announced that a “presidential alert” would be sent to American phones on Wednesday around 2:18 p.m. E.T. The joint test by FEMA and the FCC is meant to check the existing emergency alert system (EAS) and the wireless emergency alerts (WEA), according to CNBC . Most people should be familiar with WEA messages. They usually come to your phone to warn you about severe weather in the area. Sometimes an WEA AMBER alert will sound off on your phone too if a child is missing. The presidential alert this Wednesday is simply a test and it won’t come from Donald Trump directly. However, in the future, it could come from Trump if there’s a national emergency. Hence, the paranoia. On Wednesday, the test people should have received said, “THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed.” But in the future, Late Night With Seth Meyers pointed out that it could read something like this… Thank goodness Donald Trump will be allowed to text the entire country starting tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/60RxoTyU4u — Late Night with Seth Meyers (@LateNightSeth) October 2, 2018 Or this… Today Trump gets yet another way to capture America’s attention. pic.twitter.com/Mrxz5ZfuO2 — Late Night with Seth Meyers (@LateNightSeth) October 3, 2018 One Twitter user even pointed out that Trump could once again abuse his power and use the WEA to send us his tweets directly… lmao my coworker said “Presidential Test?! Trump is gonna send us his tweets directly to our phones?!?!” — Miche (@MicheBangtan) October 3, 2018 Even Trump himself was a little too hype about the Wednesday test, writing, “At 2:18 pm ET today, I get to send MY 1st Presidential Alert to EVERYONE on there cell phone! NOBODY can opt out! Phones can’t be silenced! YOU HAVE TO READ MY TEXT! Can’t wait to send alerts about BIG SALES at MY Trump Hotels! I’m going to make so much money! # WednesdayWisdom ” At 2:18 pm ET today, I get to send MY 1st Presidential Alert to EVERYONE on there cell phone! NOBODY can opt out! Phones can't be silenced! YOU HAVE TO READ MY TEXT! Can't wait to send alerts about BIG SALES at MY Trump Hotels! I'm going to make so much money! #WednesdayWisdom — Donald J. Trump (@RealDonaldTrFan) October 3, 2018 Once the test was over, Trump had more to say… Wow! Just tested the #PresidentialAlert system. Very promising method of communication and will help eliminate the Fake News Media. Will soon be sending out my thoughts on the new film, A Star Is Born. Looks great! God Bless the U.S.A! — Donald J. Trump (@ambriehlx) October 3, 2018 Smh…”jokes” that hit a little too close to our worst nightmares. Considering the various scandals , ignorance and abuse of power Trump is known for, he definitely would be the one to hit you up at the most inconvenient time. Giving Donald Trump the ability to text the entire country is bound to end up like this. pic.twitter.com/xILjNJBMJ3 — Late Night with Seth Meyers (@LateNightSeth) October 3, 2018 Folks across social media were already outraged that Trump could technically text them anytime… We’re supposed to get a text alert from Trump at 2:18pm today. I’m going to respond and tell him to fuck off. — Anna Notaro (@AnnaNotaro22) October 3, 2018 Some people were even more anxious since consent and consideration aren’t necessarily Trump’s strong points. Who gave the President permission to text my phone?? Oh wait, who am I kidding…getting someone’s consent has never been one of his strong suits. #PresidentialAlert — Tyler Bowman (@Tgbowman) October 3, 2018 At the end of it all, the presidential alerts resulted in some hilarious parodies for how Trump would most likely abuse his texting privileges. From thoughts about his alleged mushroom-sized peen , to support for Brett Kavanaugh ‘s Supreme Court nomination, hit the next pages to peep the spam we hopefully won’t get from Trump.

Scary: The Presidential Alert Test Has Twitter Imagining Gross Things Trump Could Send Us

Spike Lee Tells Anderson Cooper He Has No Interest In Sitting Down With “Agent Orange”

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Source: WASHINGTON, DC – SEPTEMBER 20: Filmmaker Spike Lee speaks onstage after receiving the Lifetime Achievement Award at the 21st Annual Celebration Of Leadership In The Fine Arts at Sidney Hary Hall on September 20, 2017 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Earl Gibson III/WireImage) The list of Black celebrities unwilling to sit across from Donald Trump continues to grow as BlacKkKlansman director Spike Lee is the latest to say he would turndown a one-on-one meeting with the Divider-In-Chief. Appearing on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 , the host asked the OG director if he would consider having a sit down with Donald Trump to which Lee simply answered, “No.” As the questions continued Lee kept it 1000 when he said “I don’t use his name either. Agent Orange.” Cooper then asked the BlacKkKlansman  director if he considered Trump his president. Lee responded, “No. Might be Putin.” Just. Might. Be. This should come as no surprise as Spike Lee’s been one of Donald Trump’s most vocal critics since taking office and with the way Putin’s plant is running Amerikkka, we should expect more of the same from the Brooklyn filmmaker. Check out the interview below.

Spike Lee Tells Anderson Cooper He Has No Interest In Sitting Down With “Agent Orange”

Lisa Rinna Celebrates Turning 55 With Nude Selfie

Wednesday, July 11, was Lisa Rinna’s birthday. The The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star is now 55 years old. She decided to celebrate by snapping a selfie so naked that it is no longer on Instagram. But you can still see it — the internet is forever. Fair warning: the image below is not safe for work. There are nipples in play. Lisa Rinna has been nude on Instagram before. This time, instead of a topless mirror selfie, she took the full-bodied approach. She snapped a photo of herself at a window. You can see through the window, but you can also see the reflection of her dynamite body in the glass. It’s not just a silhouette, either. Her nipples are right there, staring you in the face. And you don’t have to take our word for it. As we mentioned, that image is not safe for work. Or for children. It is also not safe for Instagram. She hasn’t been banned, but that photo is gone from Instagram. But not gone from our hearts. Or, of course, from the internet. She had captioned the Instagram selfie “birthday suit,” and she was not kidding. It’s not the only photo featuring her trim figure and a window that she’s shared to Instagram in recent days. Lisa also followed up by posting a caption reading: “Happy F–king Birthday to ME!” That’s the spirit! To show that she was very much in the birthday mood, she followed those words with six cake slice emojis. Though we somehow doubt that Lisa ate quite that much cake on her birthday, she has every right to do so. She’ll turn 55 but once. Lisa Rinna is drop dead gorgeous. Acknowledging that is like saying that the sun is bright. Just as the sun douses us with unwanted heat, light, and ultraviolet radiation, Lisa can also be problematic at times. Less than a year ago, Lisa — for unknown reasons — decided to tweet “All Lives Matter.” We don’t really understand why she decided to add her voice to the rallying cry of those who feel weirdly threatened by the assertion that Black Lives Matter.. Perhaps she was looking to stir up controversy and accusations of racism, and decided that her husband Harry Hamlin wearing a swastika was too subtle. Still, everyone is growing and learning as a human being. Lisa Rinna might not look 55, but she’s experiencing time just like the rest of us — and learning from her experiences. So perhaps she’ll come around to issues that she didn’t quite understand with time. Or perhaps not. Either way, the fans and followers of this Real Housewife hope that she never, ever stops posting nudes. She worked hard for her incredible body, and she should feel free to show it off whenever she likes. (Whether it is her birthday or any other special occassion) Instagram, however, would probably prefer that she keep her nipples to herself when using their social media platform. They have rules. Spoilsports. View Slideshow: Real Housewives All Stars: Who Should Be Cast?

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Lisa Rinna Celebrates Turning 55 With Nude Selfie

George Lopez Pees On Trump’s Walk of Fame Star, Royally Pisses Off MAGA Crowd

Ever since Donald Trump was elected president, his star on the Walk of Fame has been a common target for some very amusing vandalism. Now, “amusing” is not a word one would normally use to describe George Lopez, a man who typically favors the Adam Sandler “I’m rich, therefore I don’t have to be funny” approach to comedy, but we’re willing to make an exception in this case. George Lopez “Pees” on Donald Trump’s Star Lopez recently pretended to take a leak on the Donald’s star, and TMZ obtained video of the righteous micturition. Not exactly comic gold on its own, but the response to Lopez’s innocuous gag has been flat-out hilarious. According to TMZ, dozens of grown-ass adults have called and texted the LAPD demanding that Lopez be arrested for the prank. The department says more than 50 individuals have contacted them to report Lopez’s “crime,” thus far, and the complaints just keep pouring in. Hilariously, many of the offended parties seem not to realize that Lopez didn’t actually pee on the star, a fact that’s abundantly clear to anyone who’s watched the video of the incident. One caller described Lopez’s actions as “sick, deplorable, offensive and disrespectful.” Another fell for the prank harder than Sarah Palin being duped by Sacha Baron Cohen : “If this was any normal person they would be arrested for indecent exposure,” claims the outraged citizen, who apparently believes that penises and water bottles are interchangeable as far as the law is concerned. “[Does] the Hollywood elite think they’re above the law and you guys took an oath to obtain the Law.” It’s moments like this where you almost have to marvel at Trump’s mind control powers. Dude’s a born-rich, Ivy League-educated billionaire who’s managed to convince tens of millions of Americans that he’s on their side in the war against “the elites” — a group that apparently includes George Lopez. To be fair, we imagine this is quite the triggering event for some folks in the MAGA crowd. A wealthy Mexican-American literally peeing on Donald Trump’s name is a waking nightmare for most of these people. Which is exactly why we encourage every brown-skinned person in the Greater Los Angeles area to head to Hollywood Boulevard and empty their bladders in the name of freedom. Don’t worry if you’re not actually Mexican or rich. The people who are most likely to be pissed off by your patriotic piddle will assume you just backstroked across the Rio Grande and fell into some cushy seven-figure gig that was meant for them. You’ll have ’em scrambling for their safe spaces in no time! View Slideshow: Tiny Trump: Internet Cuts President Down to Size!

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George Lopez Pees On Trump’s Walk of Fame Star, Royally Pisses Off MAGA Crowd