Tag Archives: internet-cuts

George Lopez Pees On Trump’s Walk of Fame Star, Royally Pisses Off MAGA Crowd

Ever since Donald Trump was elected president, his star on the Walk of Fame has been a common target for some very amusing vandalism. Now, “amusing” is not a word one would normally use to describe George Lopez, a man who typically favors the Adam Sandler “I’m rich, therefore I don’t have to be funny” approach to comedy, but we’re willing to make an exception in this case. George Lopez “Pees” on Donald Trump’s Star Lopez recently pretended to take a leak on the Donald’s star, and TMZ obtained video of the righteous micturition. Not exactly comic gold on its own, but the response to Lopez’s innocuous gag has been flat-out hilarious. According to TMZ, dozens of grown-ass adults have called and texted the LAPD demanding that Lopez be arrested for the prank. The department says more than 50 individuals have contacted them to report Lopez’s “crime,” thus far, and the complaints just keep pouring in. Hilariously, many of the offended parties seem not to realize that Lopez didn’t actually pee on the star, a fact that’s abundantly clear to anyone who’s watched the video of the incident. One caller described Lopez’s actions as “sick, deplorable, offensive and disrespectful.” Another fell for the prank harder than Sarah Palin being duped by Sacha Baron Cohen : “If this was any normal person they would be arrested for indecent exposure,” claims the outraged citizen, who apparently believes that penises and water bottles are interchangeable as far as the law is concerned. “[Does] the Hollywood elite think they’re above the law and you guys took an oath to obtain the Law.” It’s moments like this where you almost have to marvel at Trump’s mind control powers. Dude’s a born-rich, Ivy League-educated billionaire who’s managed to convince tens of millions of Americans that he’s on their side in the war against “the elites” — a group that apparently includes George Lopez. To be fair, we imagine this is quite the triggering event for some folks in the MAGA crowd. A wealthy Mexican-American literally peeing on Donald Trump’s name is a waking nightmare for most of these people. Which is exactly why we encourage every brown-skinned person in the Greater Los Angeles area to head to Hollywood Boulevard and empty their bladders in the name of freedom. Don’t worry if you’re not actually Mexican or rich. The people who are most likely to be pissed off by your patriotic piddle will assume you just backstroked across the Rio Grande and fell into some cushy seven-figure gig that was meant for them. You’ll have ’em scrambling for their safe spaces in no time! View Slideshow: Tiny Trump: Internet Cuts President Down to Size!

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George Lopez Pees On Trump’s Walk of Fame Star, Royally Pisses Off MAGA Crowd

Donald Trump Retweets Clip of Him Hitting Hillary Clinton With Golf Ball

Hey, remember the 2016 election? Sure you do. Even if you were somehow able to forget that you’ve lived every day since November 8 in some sort of Orwellian hellscape where up is down, black is white, and hamburgers eat people, the principal players still bear the psychic scars of their electoral combat, and they will not let you forget it for a single second. In case you decided to take up residence in a Unabomber shack in the woods around the time a presidential candidate started talking about his dong during a televised debate and you’re just now re-entering society, allow us to bring you up to speed: Donald Trump is now our president, despite running a campaign marred by multiple genital-related scandals . Despite the fact that he won, Trump clearly still awakes with the election at the forefront of his mind every morning, presumably staring dead-eyed at the ceiling fan over his bed, a la Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now . Hillary Clinton is also still obsessed with the most bonkers presidential election in American history, but she’s decided to seek catharsis by writing a book in which she blames everyone else for her loss. Ya know, like an adult! (Hey, petty adults who are more concerned with settling old scores than with the future of the country are still adults.) The Donald, on the other hand … well, he’s decided to handle things quite differently. Trump-Clinton Golf GIF Take six seconds of your day to watch the clip above in order to remind yourself that we’re currently living in the Upside Down (RIP, Barb). It’s from a Twitter account with the stunningly apt handle @fuctupmind, and it was retweeted by the President of the United States. Yes, 71-year-old Donald Trump was so tickled by the thought of him pelting a former first lady, senator, and secretary of state with a golf ball that he felt compelled to share @fuctupmind’s handiwork with the world. It’s easy to get bored when you’re in your bathrobe by 6 pm every evening, but surely a man with a pretty important gig can find better ways of keeping himself busy. Obviously, there were millions of stunned reactions on social media, but the consensus is perhaps best encapsulated by this tweet from former director of US Office of Government Ethics Walter Schaub: “The President of the United States just retweeted a video vignette that imagines him assaulting his political rival. The man is unfit,” Schaub wrote. It’s the truth, folks. No matter where your beliefs fall on the political spectrum, it’s time to admit that Donald Trump is unfit. And we’re not talking about the fact that he an ass that could rival Kim Kardashian’s . View Slideshow: Tiny Trump: Internet Cuts President Down to Size!

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Donald Trump Retweets Clip of Him Hitting Hillary Clinton With Golf Ball

Maddie Brown on Two-Week-Old Son: Stop Growing Up So Fast!

Maddie Brown gave birth to her first child just over two weeks ago now, and she now realizes just how quickly they grow up.  Maddie and husband, Caleb Brush named their little bundle of joy Axel James , and appear to be happier than ever as they take some of the cutest pictures on Instagram.  It’s certainly refreshing to have some news from the Sister Wives family that does not lean heavily on Robyn apparently leaving Kody.  Would Sister Wives ever be the same if she were to just up and leave? We think not.  Anyway, back to the cute pictures of Axel James Brush.  The above picture showed off Axel’s smile, but Maddie seemed conflicted about her son growing up quickly in the caption.  “This little stud is two weeks old today. I’m torn between wanting to watch him grow and wanting him to stay small forever. #AxelJames #BabyBoy #motherhood #Twoweeks.” Now, all parents worry about their children growing up too fast, but babies have a knack for becoming toddlers very quickly, so we can see where Maddie is coming from.  Maddie unveiled another picture of her son laughing with his eyes closed.  She was quick to point out that she did not want to be that mom who posts lots of pictures of her child. “I am that mom I swore I wouldn’t be, posting tons of pictures of this handsome boy. How could I not though!? #AxelJames #motherhood #BabyBoy.” Something tells us she’s going to be sharing a whole lot more pictures of her son in the future. It’s natural for a parent to want to show their little cherub off to the world.  Maddie and Caleb married in 2016 in a Bohemian inspired wedding.  Unlike Maddie’s parents, she will be living a monogamous lifestyle with Caleb.  Viewers of Sister Wives are anxiously awaiting news of a return date for the popular TLC reality series. 

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Maddie Brown on Two-Week-Old Son: Stop Growing Up So Fast!

Vladimir Putin to Megyn Kelly: Get a Life, Loser!

When he’s not stoically stroking a cat or swivelling in a chair to reveal himself to a captured foe, Russian President Vladimir Putin likes to maintain the illusion that he’s the democratically elected, non-villainous head of a functioning industrialized nation. That means occasionally conversing with reporters, despite the fact that it would be so much easier to put their heads on spikes outside the Kremlin as a warning to others who might be thinking about snooping around. On Sunday night, Trump foil turned Fox News refugee Megyn Kelly interviewed Putin on her new 60 Minutes -esque weekly newsmagazine.  Not surprisingly, Putin was his usual petulant self, bristling at questions about Russia’s alleged collusion with the Trump administration , and seemingly at all times one subtle head nod away from having Kelly dragged off to a Siberian work camp. “You have created a sensation out of nothing,” Putin replied when asked about charges of Russia hacking the DNC and meddling in the 2016 election. “And out of this sensation you created a weapon of war against the president,” he said, referring to Trump. “You people over there … good job. Your lives must be boring.” Yes, Vlad just went full Regina George and basically asked Kelly why she’s so totes obsessed with him. To her credit, Kelly pressed on and asked the real-life Bond villain about the alleged pee tapes starring Trump and some Russian hookers . Okay, she didn’t use the word “pee tapes” but she did ask if Russia has incriminating information that it’s using to blackmail Trump: “Well this just another load of nonsense,” Putin replied. “Where would we get this information from? There was a time when he used to come to Moscow but, you know, I never met him. Do you think we’re gathering information on all of the [Americans visiting Russia on business]. “Have you all lost your sense over there?” he concluded, really piling on the rhetorical questions in not-at-all-super-suspicious fashion. This is some top-notch gaslighting, folks. The good thing about engaging in the kind of cartoonish supervillainy that sounds ridiculous when you describe it out loud is that all you have to do to defend yourself is describe it out loud. It’s a tactic that’s probably been employed by evildoers throughout history. “Riiiiight, I’m brainwashing you into worshipping me as a Christ-like figure so that I can convince you to commit a series of brutal murders in hopes of igniting an apocalyptic race war,” we imagine a young Charles Manson sarcastically dismissing his followers’ suspicions. Clearly, Vlad has learned from the very best bad guys. Sad! View Slideshow: Tiny Trump: Internet Cuts President Down to Size!

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Vladimir Putin to Megyn Kelly: Get a Life, Loser!